Wedding Forum - Double-Barrelled Surname **update**...

That's such a shame.

I am lucky that Ed's folks are so helpful... his Dad bought ten bottles of red wine so that we could choose our favourite and now he's ordering it by the box along with all the champagne.

Personally, I am taking his name because that's what I want.

Looks like you will have to get used to fighting your corner. But a shame that you have to and a shame that you are left feeling like you're on your own with it.

See im having stress about weather or not to double barrel my name or not???

I have two girls from my 1st marriage so they have his name (which is mine at the mo) but we have a son that has h2b's surname SO im in two minds weather or not to double barrel so i still have the same name as ALL my children but h2b doesnt want me to have the exs surname still lol
His way of looking at it is they are girls so might not always have that surname whereas our son will (maybe?)

GRRRR no idea still :-(


Have you thought of keeping your maiden name and your h2b taken your surname instead of double barreling??
Thats what my friends husband did, as she is an only child of an only child but he has 3 brothers.

Ah I understand sorry was just curious! xx

Oh what a charming person he sounds like!

Hun I had to edit your post as someone pointed out to me that although the words are not yours there are people on here that will still find their use offensive x

My name would sound naff if i had a double-barreld name. But sometimes I think, I would like to keep my name, I dont want the same name as his folks. They are never happy, and always moan. I also wish our kids didn't have there name eaither.

i thought about double -barrelling and did put it to Mr lala but he says he doesnt think it works ?

Hails....... im in the same situation.... but ive found a plan for it

my h2b is heard ... i am johnson (exs surname ) my son is johnson

i will be kellie johnson heard

my son will be dylan johnson- heard

one difference is .. is the hyphen.... if i dont do the hyphen on mine i can drop the johnson at any point in every day life except passport driving licence except with dead poll ... but i still want to be the same as my son

however in every day life i will be mrs heard.... but my sons will be hyphenated and everyone will use it all as it has the hyphen

im having this problem with names,when we had our son we double barrled his last name so it is handforth-milloy but now ive thought about it i think we are going to change our sons name to just handforth and i will also take handfoth,x

If I double barrel my surname and OH's, I'd be Melody Skidmore-Walker .. it's ridiculous. I wouldn't put a poor child through that LoL.. Would end up be called Skid-Walk or Walk-More :-/ LoL! xx

haha melody! i would be ruth moreland- mitchell It really doesnt work!!
I'm ok with taking his name though. My brother is the only moreland left to carry on the name- no presure! lol

aww special sundae, thats not fair... let him get on with his rants. dont lket it annoy you...itll be u and ur h2b tht matters from now on!

If i double barreled mine it would be howard wade or wade howard lol but im happy taking his surname, SpecialSundae sorry to hear your having a stressful time but remember its your day and your life, do whatever makes you happy and i your h2b dont mind sod other peoples opinon, its not them your marrying! *hugs* xx

h2b gave me the choice.... therefore I am happy taking his name as it wasnt expected of me. if his dad is being a pain, i would not let him input any money or he will think there are certain elements he can control.... be VERY careful. we said parents could contribute but have not told them what they are contributing too other than my mum who wanted to buy the dress and the fireworks. His parents money is just going in 'the pot' as they were trying to control guest lists etc as they had it in their head they were paying for part of the venue. Watch him carefully and if you can do it without his contribution, then please do.

SpecialSundae - He sounds like a total kn0b! We were considering having a double barrelled surname but it would sound rubbish ( my surname is Ramos and his is Garton). We've been together 19 yrs and our son has my surname as I wanted him to carry on my name (h2b has another son with his surname). I've decided to keep my surname once we are married as it doesn't make me any less married. Good luck with the fil2b

I want to take my H2B surname as my girls have his name and I'm the odd one out, I feel like it will tie us all intogether and be a 'proper' family! Just gutted tho as the Painter surname dies out with my brother and his wife now as they had two girls (altho they may decide to stay Painters or never marry) and I'm turning into an Inns! :S xxx

Thats true! Never thought of it like that, I suppose people would automatically assume wouldn't they, whereas if you double barrel it then you can like you say control it!!

Really bugs me when people (especially family) try and stick their oar in! Whos bloody decision is it?!?! Meh! If its any consolation my H2B dad won't wear a suit, button hole or be in any photos which is important to us!! Dunno why he is even bothering in coming especially as when we told him we were going to get married hes first reaction was are you stupid?? Charming! Hes being a complete pain!!

Im changing mine but only as I got picked on for it lol!

I was considering keeping my own name as I have 3 sisters and once we have all got married and changed our names the 'Colley' name will die out!

I have never spoke of names to anyone and if someone tried to force me to change or keep my name id do the exact opposite! Its YOUR choice what you are known as not the in laws or even H2B's Its YOUR name and if people cant let you decide that then its obvious that they just want to control who YOU are!

I'll be honest I would be really angry if my h2b and I agreed on something as important as our surname and he then changed his mind. It obviously means a lot to you, so you need to sit down with your hubby and tell him why you should stick with the double-barrelled surname you both agreed on. Why should you be stuck with a surname you don't want for the rest of your life, just because his Mum sheds a few tears. Hope you get it sorted

He's the only child but he has a very common name and if we double-barrel it will continue. If he does keep his name then I think I'm going to have to get it in writing that any children will either take my name or double-barrel, because otherwise he'll change his mind that as well. I have a brother who could theoretically "carry on the family name" but that's not really the issue.

We agreed this long before we got engaged officially and I can't believe he's going back on it now. What else will his parents do to drive wedges between us?

I would actually say he can keep his surname but you will keep yours and any children you have will take yours. You came up with a perfectly reasonable compromise for everyone involved, including his parents! If his Mother's so upset about him losing his surname fine, but his surname can die out that way or you both have a double barrelled surname and your children carry on both sets of families name. I'm sorry I sound so angry, but this has really wound me up! Why don't family members mind their own business. I would also be concerned that your hubby is buckling at the first hurdle.

Typical! He's only angry because he knows he is in the wrong.

Okay, it kicked off last night. I'd been to check out honeymoons and had it pointed out that we need to make a decision on our names before we book.

So we did what we'd been saying we would for a while and talked to Grant's dad together, thinking that he might see sense... but he just went off on one even more than usual saying that Grant was Christened with his surname and that it wasn't the done thing and his friend's (who are all as out of date as he is) are all horrified that Grant's considering changing it. He also reiterated that they would disown Grant if he dared to go against their will. He then hung up on me.

Grant had been refusing to make a decision but, after discussion possibly uninviting his entire family, possibly including his parents, and reshuffling the budget massively to try to work out how to pay for the removal of £7000 , we've finally found a compromise.

We're not going to make any moves on officially changing our names at the moment, but after the wedding we will both be known socially as our double-barrelled name. So we can tell his parents that he isn't changing his name, but anyone other than them and HMRC will know us as Mrs and Mr H-H.

if H2B agree's to double barrel your names then FIL will just have to be ignored. double barelling will mean keeping the name alive but it also keeps yours alive to especially if you like your name. Ignore it if you've agreed then tough x

You know what you could do? He can keep his own name and you could double barrel yours on the wedding day. That way he can say that his isn't changing and you are taking on his name and they won't know unless they look carefully at the register what you have changed it to. Its free for you to change it on the day but you have to pay after the day. Once the wedding is over it is up to him if he wants to then double it like yours. They can't do anything by that point and it saves having to lie or do anything else.