i only really try to talk to my parents occasionally and h2b bout wedding tho i got told the other day that he feels im pressuring him with all the costs and everything (i tried working iot out so that we could both afford to pay things and not just him!even tho it meant putting wedding back til 2014! which i dont really want but if we cant afford it then what do you do?) so iv decided im not goin to say anything to him at all and let him try to plan it for may next year when the venue is booked up and the photographer etc and then see what he says!! he really upset me with it and its not the first time!! He can be really nice to me but then anything about weddings and he turns off!! I understand he got a new business and he wants to get that going but he doing it 24/7 i occasionally see him if i wake up in middle of night! but i want to get planning and sorting things out!!i gave him one job in probably september to go speak to the registrar as we wanted to book our venue and he still hasnt and now i dont think he will!! He has the card for the wedding fund account so i cant do anything!
It makes me feel like he dont actually want to marry me and that he just wants to do his business and i dont matter i understand that its important to him but i need something from him too! he stays up till all hours fixing things and then sleeps in till stupid o clock so i never see him!! and i dont know what to do! I have tried talking to him but i just get told stop stressing about wedding stuff! or im trying to run this business so we can get married when and where we want but he doesnt seem to realise things get booked up years in advance!! no matter how much i tell him so iv stopped talking full stop and see what he says!!

any advice would be good but thank you for letting me rant!!!

My h2b wanted to save up all the money we would need in one go and when we have it all, THEN we could go out and book the wedding. I explained to him about things getting booked up at least a year in advance, and hell would freeze over first if he thought I was going to wait a couple of years to get all the money together and then wait another year before we could get married due to things being booked up! Not only that but your guests need time so they can book time off work etc. He saw it my way but it still isn't really the same as the situation you are in. I would say to you to back off wedding stuff altogether, don't mention it to him in any way and see if he brings up the subject himself. Men turn off with things when they hear it too much, but they also notice when it has stopped even if it takes a month sometimes! He might realise that something is up and that he was not appreciating the planning. I don't know what else to say except I hope it all works out for you both. xx

i wouldnt mind so much but he keeps looking to book holidays etc and wants to go away everywhere! Which one i dont have the money and 2 neither does he! But he just wants to go away cos he gets itchy feet! I would love to be able to go on holiday but apart from the money we hav in wedding account we dont have any money!! i think you are right il just stop mentioning it and see what happens. thank you xxx

i tried breaking it all down and for everything that we want (i have tried cutting back loads) it gona cost us at least £250 pm each! To get married next may which is twice what i earn a month or £170 each per month to get married in may 2014! that including honeymoon etc and extra increases per year but he not interested so i will have to go do everything differently! that was the cheapest venue we could find (we loved it tho) except the registry office which he point blank refuses to even contemplate!! so yeah am glad you got him to see sense lol hopefully mine will do eventually otherwise it will be on his head that we dont get it hahaha x

the wedding does not need to cost the earth. also only the really big places get booked years in advance a year before i sufficent for most venues and photographers and you can't book a registrar till a year before anyway.

mores to the point you need to make a point to your h2b that he is makeing you feel untrusted and as though he does not want to marry you. I am sure thats not his plan.

Aw poor you. The situation you're in sucks, but I'm sure it will get better. Firstly, I can tell you from 1st hand experience that setting up your own business is hard work. My h2b & I set up our business a year and a half ago and worked all the hours god sent to make it work. Unlike working for someone else, you have to build up your own client base, reputation and materials etc from scratch. If your h2b is anything like mine, he will be working extra hard to try and give you the wedding you want. Even though he seems distant and grumpy at the moment, once his business takes off hopefully he will relax and will be able to talk to you about the wedding. Until he feels he is in a position (financially) to make your wedding a reality, talking or even thinking about the wedding will only stress him out and remind him that he can't make it happen for you yet. Try to keep your chin up and direct your wedding excitement towards your family, friends and bridesmaids xx

My h2b also thought we could save all the money we needed first before we did anything. Luckily i managed to convonce him that it was a lost cause tryong to do that cause there is no way of knowing exaclty what u need. Hope u get sorted xx