Ok so i went to a wedding last year of a friend from work and all us work girls gave her £15 each as she wanted money, i didnt know her that well but she invited me so was happy to.
Its my wedding this year and we want the same as no need for anything else. My other friend at work is kindly makingme my cake and charging ingredients which will be between 50 - 80. Anyway the other girls who are coming plus hubbys is about 8 couples all knew i just wanted same as Ali as feel awkward asking so i just said "just do same as Ali, i dont care"
Now they have basically said they are going to give other friend the ingredients money between them and put me in a position where i couldnt say no. Where i am very very grateful i didnt like the force in it and cannot help they just dont want to spend at all as would work out a 6 pound per couple, baring ikn mind they get meal and drinks all night
am i being unreasonable? of course i will never address this to them i just think its an insult. I am usually a huuugely grateful person and we actually put nothing in the invite
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
mebs ull be suprised on the day and this is just a nice gesture in the mean time? x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorMrs P*R*C*2013
I would be! May sound a little ungrateful on my part but heyho.
Maybe you should drop in conversation that you've decided to ask for money for 'x', so people know where their money is going? A lot of people don't like to give money if they think it will be on something & nothing.
As Nicola says though maybe you'll be surprised & the cake is in addition to anything else...
Hope it works out xx
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
edited
They probably thought they were helping you out hun. And you didn't really help yourself by saying that you don't care, you should have just asked them politely for the money really, but there's nothing you can do about that now so I would just wait until the day. I know if I had only put £6 towards a wedding present I would get something else as well or give them some money. There's no point in getting annoyed or upset when you don't know what else might be going on xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorJennyTembo
you can only have faith in them .. but i understand compleatly where you're coming from .. a small group of my friends make me feel like this all the time whatever it maybe.. and its frustraiting but al, you can do is sit back and smile sweetly unless one approaches you about the subject again .. xx
I agree with linzi-jo. As you said you werent bothered and didn't mention it in invites, they probably thought it would be a helpful thing to do xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthornatalie2614
If you havent specified anything then you cant really get upset. And its wrong to jump to conclusions without knowing the facts, they could be planning a collection on top of the ingredients money, so I'd wait and see what happens on the day. Plus you invite people to enjoy your day, anything they give you as a gift etc is a bonus.
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorTsukijin
I'm sticking my neck out here but I'm unfortunately very forward and practical by nature and I think I'd much more enjoy opening a card with £5 in than just having the cake paid for and I'd say so (IF I was asked what I would like. I wouldn't assume I would receive something by default) . However I think your friends mean well and as you didn't directly say what you want people will just try to be helpful. Some people feel like they are being thoughtless if they shove money in a card but those are my favourite kind of people :D
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorLaraS36
well i did say at the start i would prefer money or canadian dollars but they kind of manipultaed me in to saying ok do the cake. Its annoying as they are taking up two tables of 7
CommentAuthorTsukijin
Tell them someone has kindly already paid for the ingredients today lol. It doesn't have to be true
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorhigginszajac
Im sure they think they are taking the worry of paying for the cake off your mind, i would just forget about it and dont let it worry you xx
CommentAuthorLaraS36
i cant ha, the cake maker is their best friend so in fact she may not even charge them ha
CommentAuthorTori
Tell them that x person had their heart set on paying for the cake for you and would they mind awfully if you went along with this and just gave you money x
