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Wedding Forum - Sister in law living drama...

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  1.  
    • CattyS55
      CommentAuthorCattyS55
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi all,

    I wanted to get your advice. My sister in law has been living with us almost a year and a half and we have been married almost a year. It was meant to be a temporary situation for 3 months but somehow has extended.

    We have both spoken to her about moving out and she said she would definitely be gone in January and it's almost March and she's still there. She is an adult and works full time and doesn't contribute at all to the household which I find absolutely disgusting and shocking, nor has she offered. I undetstand everyone earns differently but to offer would be nice.

    Am I wrong to want alone time and live alone with my husband and enjoy married life?

    We helped her for her move to London but it's too much now and she has another brother she could stay with and other family members. I just feel like this is causing a strain on my relationship as she doesn't get we want alone time and my husband avoids pushing more for her to move out. We are alao trying for a baby so this doesn't help matters.

    I just don't know what to do?! I spoke to her in October and said we are married and trying for a baby and would like some alone time and to live together alone as a married couple. She said she would move out and nothing has changed. She brags about the money she has and is saving due to living with us for free, which annoys me even more. I just feel like I'm going to snap at her as I have a lot of frustrations about this situation and the strain it has on my marriage.

    Thanks
  2.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    You might need to lay down the law. It’s totally unacceptable that she doesn’t pay anything at all. People sometimes run into trouble where family members are concerned because everything goes on trust and verbal agreements, but really you need a written contract. You could say that you feel she has lived there long enough to have a proper agreement in place. If she refuses to sign then you give her a month notice, and maybe help her look for somewhere so that you stay on good terms. If she wasn’t family I’d say pack her things and change the locks after a month notice, but you don’t want to sour family relationships. The contract doesn’t have to be anything complicated, just an agreement that she pays a share of the bills and maybe stays away one evening each week to let you and your husband have some time. I knew a couple who took in a lodger (a good friend of their’s), and they set Thursday night as date night. The deal was she would make herself scarce until an agreed time.

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