This is a bit of a all in one thing . My mum died suddenly 2 years ago which was a shock as no illness no accident just gone :( I am a only child so no bro or sis and sadly no grandparents . My parents divorced so got step families which I am close to and with stuff like birthdays or Christmas something was always separate and always fab . Now I am engaged and as a child I dreamed of shopping for dresses with my mum , going to wedding fayres with her and just general being with her . Thanks to another thread I have ideas of how to honour her on my special day but I am having some issues with the before part ! I mean the planning and fayre bit , every time I go somewhere it's like the opinion I need is missing . I have a step mum but feel including her in the normal mum tasks feels wrong which then feels wrong by thinking it (confusing eh ! ) I have a wedding fayre Sunday and taking my friend with me which I know will be fun but again it's like my brain is shouting you have the wrong person going with you .
If you lost a parent or relation who was close to you how did you cope with the before stage ?
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorsarah
I'm sorry for your loss. I know it sounds silly but have you considered writing a journal or letters to your mum about how you're planning is going? I was really close to my grandfather (closer than I am to my parents) and now that he's gone I sometimes write down the things I want to talk to him about and it always makes me feel better.
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
That is such a good idea Sarah; I am sorry for your loss Welshbride; I know it is not the same but my Grandad passed away in Jan this year (not in a nice way) and I feel it as well that he won't be there for our wedding; my h2b lost his dad a good few years back so he is feeling it too but we just about it and it makes it kind of easier.
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
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CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
sarahs idea is fab
big hugs for you though hun x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Thanks all Think writing it down is good idea at the moment I visit her grave and talk about what's happening with life and friends as my best mate just had a baby and I know she would of been excited . Think it's just the elephant in the room with her not being here as sometimes people say " it's such a shame your mum isn't here but I bet she is looking down being proud" I know they mean well but sometimes I feel like saying beep off I know! (sorry bit rude lol )
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
That must be so hard, people can be really clueless sometimes.
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
I think it human nature as in trying to say comfortable words to make me feel better which doesn't always happen !
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
CommentAuthorPaulaE95
I know just what u mean - my mum died 10 years ago n I still miss her every day. I took my mums 2 best friends with me to choose my dress etc. their husbands were best friends with my dad who died earlier this year so have involved them in the wedding too x
CommentAuthorKatieA72
God I cant imagine how hard that must be for you. I suppose we take our mums for granted eh?
I think you should try to stop feeling guilty about getting your step mum involved. She will be able to offer you the sort of opinion your mum would as I presume they are of a similar age. Things such as you have to have fruit cake and people must RSVP and all the other 'traditions' that our friends tend to be clueless about! Your step mum is aware of your situation and I'm sure she will want to do all she can to help without trying to replace your mum.
What about your fiances mum ? xxx
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Step mum wise there a lot going on within her side of family (her dad is quite unwell) My mum ...... hate was a nicer word for how she felt about my step mum which even though she knew she would be at the wedding (when me and my mum had talks) it was more a case of she didn't want her taking her role . Families eh !
Fiances mum is an option she is quite ditzy but we get on loads and fiancé has sis and sis in law who are constantly asking about wedding so could ask them stuff too as they are both married and slightly older (7 and 13yr gap) than me .
Thanks for replies everyone xx
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
