Im getting a bit bridezilla at the moment, we have upped our original guest list from 32, to 50 as it worked out better value...my h2b is recieving all sorts of messages from his brother and a few other people he works with asking if they can bring their partners... My best friends are not bringing their partners...we decided to invite them to the evening...I feel a little annoyed that we should over ride that and let my h2bs friends invite their gfs that we've never met... its our special day...feel like going down the local pub and telling everyone their welcome the way its going.... its starting to become unpersonal with all these strangers insisting they come...Ive told my h2b to say no...but have a niggling feeling hes going to let them..and that will make me veeeery mad!
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
thats just rude to even ask!!!!
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Exactly...I saw the message and wanted to message them back myself even though its on my h2bs book of face! Really touched a nerve, id never be so cheeky..do people not understand its expensive for day guests? so why would u have just any ol faces there... im so cross!
CommentAuthorTatty
I have a feeling when we send our invites we will have the same problem. I think you should just tell him to say no. If youv'e already upped your numbers surly he'll understand? x
Love: A wildly misunderstood, although highly desirable,
malfunction of the heart.
37 Pounds down, 22 pounds to go! I will be a skinny bride!
28th March 2014 will be the day I marry my best friend.
CommentAuthorAmyP7
We have a rule that if we don't know my or his friends partners they can't come. If they want to come to the evening do they can but we can't afford to have all these people there. If they have been together a while, are living together or married and we are friends with them both then that's fine. Can you not tell them it's due to max numbers in the day or down to money. I agree with lilmisschuckles it's rude x x
i would be too hun its just not fair, id sit down with h2b and write a message to all concerned stating that invites are to named people only etc etc x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
We are the same Amy.. if they are married- its a given rule that they are invited as a couple..or are living together etc and we have done that...(even tho some of them are still strangers) but my h2bs brother..hes been with his gf 6months? whos to say they'll be together next year..and I feel a bit annoyed that we should have strangers sitting listening to the personal parts.. e.g. speeches etc...feel very cross!
CommentAuthornatalie2614
During the day, invites are for named people only, but the evening invites we have put plus 1's on.
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorPenguinJ
my rule is no +1 in the day (unless stated on invite) but depending on numbers may be allowed to evening
So lucky to be marrying my soulmate on 18/07/20
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Ohh im so glad im not being a b!tch about it then! My h2b has never even met his brothers gf! lol Its just so rude to go 'oh can I bring my gf to your wedding'' ohh yeh course...its free isnt it lol.. some people!!
To make it worse.. at work my h2b has tried to discreetly hand out day invites to his best mates..and well some of them got a bit over excited and started waving them around the call centre floor..to which my h2b had loads of girls that neither of us know very well or even like...saying ''ohh so wheres my invite then'' ''am I coming'' its like HOW RUDE.. I wouldnt dream of doing it lol
CommentAuthornatalie2614
Its so hard when everyone starts saying well wheres my invite then! You invite who you want to your wedding, its not a free for all. Gets on my nerves.
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Lol exactly..i honestly feel like nippin down the local..and making an announcement that everyone can come... its just ridiculous, people dont even care, they just want the free food and drink! my h2bs brothers gf is only 17 aswell... no thanks! lol
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
We had people asking that too and we just said we are limited on numbers and IF we have space, we will let you know.
Kinda annoyed us as we got the impression from some that it was a way of saying, if you dobnt ask my OH I wont come to which we thought if thats your attitude, b*gger off!
Just go by the rules we did, firstly, are they a long term OH, are they travelling a distance to come to your wedding and do you know them.
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthorTori
I can't agree more. Some people are going to be shocked that they dont get a plus one but tough, we can't afford to feed a load of people we don't know and what's more I don't want to. Sorry if that sounds harsh but weddings cost a fortune. Maybe get H2B respond to say that there plus ones are more than welcome to join you at the evening do (that's provided you have space).
xxx
CommentAuthorLulu1388
You just have to dole out a bit of tough love, you have a limited number and that is for the close family and friends etc. If anything changes and we are able to fit them in then wil let them know etc... invite who you want to share your special day and if they dont like it then sod em!
As others have said, have the nearest and dearest for the day and then any old +1 for the night! xx
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorJoanna
It depends on the relationship. I'm not giving anyone a 'plus 1' but people in serious relationships are bringing their partners. I hope I don't offend you but I'd reconsider inviting h2b's brother's girlfriend as he is immediate family and not just a friend. Personally I'd invite his girlfriend but keep firm on everyone else xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorSamantha
I know exactly what you mean. Ive been thinking about our guest list recently and I have alot of cousins and friends with partners (half of which I have never met) and I just dont know what to do. If money is a problem thought you could say to them that they can bring their partners if they pay for them x
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I had a thread on this very subject a while ago called The Plus One Dilemma. I'll bump for you all as it had a good response and you may find helpful xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
I had a thread on this very subject a while ago called The Plus One Dilemma. I'll bump for you all as it had a good response and you may find helpful xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
i can understand asking for the evening reception but not the day! thats just rude
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
We have never met this girl, so Joanna..its not really immediate family lol We arent even inviting my h2bs mum, so dont want a stranger sitting in watching us getting married..its a rule for everyone, so why make an acception for her? shes 17...no1 knows her apart from his brother..they are travelling from portsmouth with his dad, so thats 2hours, its rude to assume she would be able to come..we sent the invite and it was clearly addressed to his sister and brother of whom may I add still live at home... he doesnt even live with his gf that we have NEVER met lol xxxx
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
edited
ohh forgot to mention aswell, these arent close family memebers, they dont speak to eachother all but once a year...even tho they are supposed to be immediate family, so feel its a bit cheeky to expect it to happen when theyve been together a few months? its not as if they live together...otherwise it would have been a deffinate invite...you dont want people either of you dont know at your wedding listening to your personal speeches and watching you get married lol...
CommentAuthorJoanna
I assumed your h2b and his brother were close. I understand why you don't want to invite her now. Xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
edited
Lol his family are diabolical joanna..ive struggled to accept his dad coming...im only saying this because we dont personally know eachother.. but his dad abused my h2b throughout his childhood.. violently.. yet my h2b has forgiven him so I have to follow suit... but his mother isnt coming because she abandoned him with his dad when he was 6months old..ran away and had more kids leaving him behind... its a right carry on, and a complete contrast to my family...his brother and sister from his dads side are lovely, and I love them, but not close at all..nly get together at special occasions..dont speak to eachother regularly to see how they are doing, infact theyve never even met our son... who is going to be 2 next feb..so im really cross about this whole expecting his gf of 6mnths to be coming to our special day, it feels like an invasion of privacy when people start to expect strangers to sit there throughout a paid 3-course meal,drinks and speeches etc lol xxx
CommentAuthorJoanna
Yeah it's completely different when you explain the situation. I wouldn't want to invite their partners either. I wouldn't be comfortable inviting his dad :( you're very accepting. Xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
The thing is Joanna, im not happy about it.. Im really not deep down...but if I was to suddenly say he cant invite his dad.... then he'd have no family there... the reason he forgave his dad..is that even though he had a awful childhood, hes the only person he did ever have..and I find it hard to accept that but do you not think I would be a total b!tch if I told him he cant have his mum or dad there... its so difficult because your right...his dad shouldnt be worthy of a place..
CommentAuthorJoanna
Aww it's so hard because he isn't worthy of being there but it is your h2b's decision to forgive him and want him there so all you can do is support him. It must be tough for both of you. Xxx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Weddings can be a right carry on cant they! lol the biggest issue a wedding brings is deffinetly the guest list....and then follows the financial side of it lol
CommentAuthorEleanorR
We only invited partners of people we socialise with as a couple, and of siblings (if long term). When people have asked we've just said we're unable to invite partners as there's a limit on numbers at the venue, but they're welcome to come to the evening
CommentAuthorMrsWearn2be
Thats more a less what we have done...it makes sense. We cant offer an alternative to my h2bs brother though as he is travelling from Portsmouth, so she wouldnt be able to just come along to the evening. Shes a kid basically, and neither of us have even ever said hello to her, its just fustrating that he would be so rude to ask......we have however said what most of you have said to him, havnt said we think its rude to him etc...just simply told him we have no room.. so have yet to hear if thats a problem for him lol x
CommentAuthorJackieFC
ive not invited the partners that i dont know, and i havent invited the ones ive only met once or twice, I have said they can come in the evening, and if they dont like it, then tough dont come :) xx
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Some of my uni girls, I never knew partners, so did not invite them, not once did they question it. I was fortunate there.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
We're quite lucky as everyone lives fairly local so wouldn't be too much of a problem...
We have had a few random people trying to invite themselves though :-/
To the day do as well! Cheeky beggars.
Aside from that, almost all of our friends our married or in long term relationships...the only exception is a couple of work colleagues on both sides who wouldn't know anyone else if they couldn't bring their partners. We are only having fifty too, and I was adamant I didn't want a group of strangers at my wedding! Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorIvaMac
I totally understand you as we are having same problem. Well, it is not a problem anymore as we enclosed the letter to the invitations where we politely explain that there are no +1s possible because of the limited capacity of the venue/hotel... not everyone is happy about it but to be honest, we dont really care anymore as it is our wedding and we will have there people we want to have there and not strangers... so I think you should just be strict about and do what you feel is right :)
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I did have hubby's Aunt phone me and tell me that his cousin would not be able to make it but could his other cousin bring his girlfriend instead. I said yeah that was fine (this was the week before the wedding) but they might not be actually sat together as they may have been on different tables. Not sure how it worked out in the end to be honest and where she sat!
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
My mother is insisting I invite my cousins boyfriends and girlfriends to my evening reception. As I am only allowed 100 guests maximum including me and my H2B and I have a massive family on both hers and my dad's side I keep telling her no, only husbands and wives I can't stretch to boyfriends and girlfriends of my cousins who I have never met.
I understand my mothers predicament but I don't particularly want a load of people there I don't know anyway and besides if I did invite all the boyfriends and girlfriends then I would have to not invite my own friends and former workmates who I love to keep in touch with. My brothers can bring a plus one no problem and so can his immediate family but flipping heck I would need an extra 50 places if all my cousins brought plus 1s. So I totally get where the OP is coming from big time!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
People just don't understand that you are limited to numbers as well.
