hi everyone!

Me and my OH have decided that we are inviting absolutely no children whatsoever to our wedding. My family has maybe 3 or 4 young children but his family has LOADS. It's not the cost of the child that bothers me, or the fact they would be taking up a "guest", it's just simply that we do not want children running riot at what is meant to be our special day.

Before we started planning our wedding we had already made the decision that our guests would not include children..his mum wasn't too keen on this idea saying that children "make" a wedding =S. Anyway as the months have gone on and the planning has started, we have made it clear on several more occasions that we do not want children there. My friends and family are completely understanding, but I don't know if his mum and sister are just ignoring our wishes or if they are hoping that by keep talking about their children coming along we might give in.....

But anyway, when it comes to the invites we need to make it perfectly clear that guests over the age of 18 are invited only - NO children. What wording can we use to be straight to the point and clear without sounding rude?! After us both verbally saying it time and time again to at least two of his relatives who just dont seem to take the hint, we don't want other guests to think they'll be ok to bring along their children! Help?!

xxx

just be prepared for people not to come, even family members. this is an issue which creeps up time and time again on here and opinions are strong on both sides

just put on the invitations strictly no children under 18

Yeah that wording sounds good KisyWisy.. I've read a few other discussions on here about invites, where writing one person's name on the invite but then that person assumes it means their partner etc is invited too. Just don't want that with the children. It sounds harsh, as his 2 brothers and 2 sisters all have at least 2 children each so I know it might be tricky for them ALL the find someone to look after them. Awkward. I might also say about limited numbers, as our venue isn't huge so if all the children are invited we would exceed the maximum numbers of guests... tricky xx

We are in the same goat.

All of our friends more or less have kids, and I felt that if we invited some, we would have to invite them all...which would probably mean that there would be more kids than adults there!

If people are bing snooty about it, just blame the venue....not a lot they can say then!

i went down the

Mr and Mrs Graham Slater
Request the honour of the presence of
XXXX
at the marriage of their daughter
xxxxxx
to
xxxxxx
at xxxxxx on
xxxxxx
at xxxxxx
followed by an Adult Only wedding breakfast
and reception at the
xxxxxxx


Due to restraints at the venue guests must be strictly over 18

We have large families and plenty of neices and nephews (perks of being the youngest) so we are only having families children at the wedding however that equals 19 so not small amount anyway. We have a lot of friends coming but not inviting their children as be far too many... our friends understand and actually looking forward to a day/evening without their children. However if you are telling family not to bring children then sometimes hard as grandparents/aunts/uncles will be at your wedding so may not find a sitter for the whole day so be prepared for people to struggle to come. xxx

Yeah just keep telling people so not a big shock when they get the invite xx

We wrote on our invites -

'Please note, that we are unable to accomodate any young children at our wedding reception'

i like number 4 too, with three kids under 5 i can see where your coming from that's why we booked a reception venue with its own soft play zone should keep all 25 kids happy lol

If i was a kid I would haved loved a soft zone area! Yeah i do understand both sides of it. If we had our own children we would probably have made more of an effort to make it a kid-friendly wedding xx

Yeah we've no kids ourselves, and whenever I've pictured my wedding, there certainly aren't any small children sliding on their knees across the dance floor and poking snotty fingers in the wedding cake!
Besides, weddings can be quite boring and a long day for kids (unless you have a venue with a soft play area - I am solo jealous, I think I would spend all my time in there!) so im sure some parents will be glad for a free day.

oh his sister has already done that!!! And it really annoyed me! We've said to her and his mum loads of times that children arent invited, then last week she was talking about ordering a tuxedo babygrow for the baby she fosters as they are at a wedding this weekend, then she said "if he's still in my care by your wedding he can wear a proper tuxedo but i think he'll be a bit uncomfy in it at this age". i did like a nervous laugh as if to say, seriously how many more times does it need to be said?! his mum also fosters and when she said she gets reviewed in July 2014 i was like "oh thats after our wedding, you'll have to get a babysitter for them" and she didnt respond. It's like when she came to look at our venue, she asked the woman about 5 times to see a family room - even though i'd told her we didnt need one as they wouldn't be needed. It's so annoying, I deffo think they are pretending to be deaf and like you say "oh i didnt think you meant us". But like you said, there won't be a seat or a meal for their children, so they'll have to just make another journey home to drop them off :-) xxx

Some people just don't get the hint. I think all the weddings I've been to have had a note inside on the additional informaiton sheet stating "whilst we love children and hope to have some of our own one day, unfortunately we will not be able to accommodate any children at our wedding". Most people leave the kids at home, the only ones who have been allowed are immediate family children i.e. babies etc. of brothers/sisters but not extended to cousins.

H2B and I are doing the same thing, strictly no kids apart from his niece and the one on the way when his sister gives birth in 2 months.
xx

I agree about saying the venue won't allow anyone under 18 in it to be honest its your day and what you want goes they need to learn to live with that x

we had around 15 children at our reception, and they weren't a problem whatsoever. we also had 5 under 18s at the meal. they made the night. on our first dance, glancing round and seeing all the kids sitting on the edge of the dancefloor watching us dance, it was priceless, so amazing.

during the ceremony too we had around 5/10 children and it was disturbed maybe once, and that was perfect timing as the vicar said something about kids and my niece who is just under 2 shouted something and it was just sweet :)

just saying, as dont put off children because you think they will ruin it. maybe its just because i'm a family person and grown up with children around me.. but i just couldn't have imagined my wedding without children there.

i honestly can't see why people feel the need to exclude children... a wedding is a beginning to a relationship which will hopefully bring children into the world, and to ban those children from it, i don't know, i just see it as major bridezilla.

if you really don't want them there, then there is really no easy way of telling people if they're not taking the hint other than the truth.

xx

This is always a contentious issue. People say 'it's your wedding, do it your way' then the children issue comes up and it changes to'I don't understand why you feel you can't have children, they won't change disturb you and they'll make the wedding better'.

There are a few good idea's on here, so I can't really add to that, but if you really don't want them then stick to your guns and be prepared to stand your ground. We've booked a section in vodka bar open to the general public till 3am, and one guest still asked if she could bring her baby?!?!

Your wedding your choice, we are chosing to have them at ours, but then thats our choice, everyone is different, you go with what you want xx

I think you guys should have the day you want. If people hold it against you enough to fall out then you can do without them.

I think any of these ideas are great and definitely more polite than just saying no children.
i have 2 boys and, although i struggle to get sitters, if its a wedding (that they're not invited to) someone will generally babysit...so i wouldnt worry.
If thats the way you want it then thats the way you should have it! every1 is different, i couldnt imagine my wedding without my kids/neices/nephews/cousins but thats just me!
And if ur mil2b keeps moaning just tell her straight
xxx

We were in the same boat but not becuase we didnt want children more for the fact that we have a day time venue capacity of 93 and if all our friends brough there children it would be over 100. So we are inviting family children but not friends children.It was hard telling them but to be honest most reacted by saying they would have got parents or babysitters for them anyway. As people keep saying its a night for them to enjoy themselves! You will get strong views either way, just be upfront from the start, I spoke face to face with each of our friends about it to avoid any confusion. x

We are only having about 4/5 children at our wedding, 1 will be 18 months, my MOH son, 1 is flower girl who will be 8, 1 page boy who will be 7 and bridemaid who will be 13. May have 1 or 2 more when we finalise guest list. My MOH will have her husband, dad and brother at wedding too to help her with the little one. I agree, that kids will take up time of guests they can't relax and enjoy themselves. I won't be inviting cousins kids who I have only met 1.

xxx

Its your day and its your choice and I stick to that, I just know if I was invited to one of family members wedding and no children were allowed I would have a hard time being able to go at all, as I only have 3 people I trust with my daughter with, which is my mum , my cousin (who I would presume would be invited too) and my best friend (who would not be able to do the whole day) if it was my OH's family would be ok due to having my mum and cousin on hand.

"Due to guidelines set down by our chosen venue, it is with regret that we are unable to have any guests attending under the age of 18" ...... Some may not come and take offence but ultimately, if they care that much then they will make childcare arrangements... If they don't, then they aren't worth the trouble! x

We are thinking of not inviting children other than our own, our nieces & nephews, our venue seats 120 & if we invite everyone our numbers would be closer to 130. By not allowing the other children we will have 100 guests which will be much more manageable. No matter what we do it will upset someone, but then again every wedding we have been to (my family & OH's) our children haven't been invited.