Hi ladies We are having a best man and two ushers. The suit hire packages are 75 each is it acceptable to ask them to pay for or at least contribute some money towards this? FIL is having one too and offered to pay for his own however I declined this as he is already giving money towards the wedding. H2B thinks that we shouldnt ask the ushers to pay anything because he asked them to be ushers! My argument is 1/ 1 usher couldnt be trustednt be trusted to turn up in a decent suit if we didnt get him one 2/ the same usher couldnt be trusted to have smart, clean shoes (we are hiring these too) and 3/ my bridesmaid is paying for her own dress and is also offering to pay for her own accessories, make up and hair. 4/ The same usher is being awkward everytime I ask him to do something for the wedding or try to discuss his duties on the day he asks me if I'm joking, glares at me, or argues with me. I feel like he thinks he can just turn up on the day and look pretty and get a thank you gift for doing so. Advice or opinions please...
CommentAuthorJoolsy
My H2B didn't ask any of his ushers to pay for the hire of their kilts infact he hired one for just about everyone we know!! We hired a suit for my dad at £65, my Nephew's kilt is £50 to hire and then hired a kilt for himself, his bestman, 3 ushers his dad and 3 of his other mates at £94 a pop and apparently he got a really good deal cause for every 5 kilts you hire you get the 5th free so he go 2 free cause he hired 10 lol !!!xx
Officially Mrs Julie-Anne Muir
CommentAuthornewmrshartley
we are asking ours to contribute, but are going with black, so they will already have the shoes and pants, so this will bring the cost down, nan in law is making waistcoats for them all so thats a big YAY! they are all scared of me too - so none will dare come not properly suited and booted :)
CommentAuthoryvonne
i personally don't think you should ask people to be ushers or bridesmaids, then ask them to pay for their suits/dresses. different if they offer, cos my h2b's brother is getting married this year and it seems they are getting people to pay for everything..i think the only thing they are having to buy is rings and balloons..but its your day and you know the people you've asked, mine is just a personal oppinion..good luck whatever you decide. xx
CommentAuthorskitty666
my ushers have offered to pay for theres which i thought was brill of them!! they are angels really!!
In a way I agree with you Yvonne, I budgeted to pay for them all however my bridesmaid wouldnt let me pay for her dress she just laughed at me and said dont worry I'll expect you to do it for me one day. I think its probably the fact that he is being so awkward and argumentative when I mention him doing anything thats really getting to me, whereas the rest of the wedding party are being really helpful and offering to do allsorts of things for us. I just wanted to find out what the rest of you are doing and what is considered the "norm"
CommentAuthoryvonne
why don't you tell him that unless he starts getting involved with things you will ask someone else to be an usher as it is an honour to be an usher not a chore and if he can't be bothered then there are lots of people that would gladly take his place, it might make him buck up his ideas. xx
CommentAuthoryvonne
edited
it sounds like the guy is just being an a.r.s.e about the whole thing. xx
CommentAuthorbillybob
Yeah you are right I personally wouldnt have chosen him but H2B just went ahead and asked him. I have asked H2B to have a word with him but he hates confrontation and would rather just let him do nothing! I may have to do it myself, AAARRRGGHH. Why does all this wedding stuff turn us into bridezilla's
CommentAuthorbridetobe1990
ours are paying for their own suits and because there are 6 of them the groom gets his free haha works out brilliant and they all get personalised cuff links, hankecheifs and shoes to keep.
CommentAuthorMrs Sazra
Ours are paying for themselves, they've said they don't mind so that helps to save nearly £300.
CommentAuthorMrs (Dove) Pidgeon
If you want someone to wear a certain thing or do a certain thing I believe its your responsibility to pay. If you don't want to pay, let them wear their own.
Now a extremely happy German housewife and now a Mother!!!!
Islay Jean born 24th June in Hannover.
CommentAuthorhay
our ushers are paying for their suits we just said to them it's £60 to hire the suits so if you want to wear the same as the goom bestman and fathers would you be able to pay for them as we can't afford to pay for them all and they all agreed thats what they wanted to do :) x
CommentAuthoremster
My h2b has brought suits for himself, best man and 2 ushers. we got all 4 suits for £450. So each suit will cost £112.50. We've offered to sell them to them to keep at £60 (basically minus a average hire charge, what we would have paid anyway) if not we'll have the suit back and sell them on xx
CommentAuthor4lannie4
all of the grooms party are paying for their own suits, its the normal thing apparantly these days, everyone did at my brothers and my friends wedding to x
CommentAuthorpringletwix
our bestmen are paying for there own I was told it was really common now!xxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorL JO
We are paying for ours as they was all saying they had suits etc but I didnt want them all mismatched and my colour is Navy so I felt I have to pay as its my choice what they will be wearing xxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorRaquel007
We are paying for all of ours as we have asked them!! But if someone offers to pay you can choose to let them, but I dont think you could really make them pay!! xx
CommentAuthorshellay
we are having four ushers, four bridesmaids, two flower girls and a page boy, the ushers and bridesmaids are paying for their own outfits, not asked the best man or the person giving me away yet, but we think they will pay for their own hire, we will probably pay for the flower girls and page boys outfits but hopefully they will not be too expensive. We didnt actually ask the bridesmaids they offered themselves, but we did ask the ushers, two of which are my children, but they were fine about paying for it and have plenty of time to save for it x
I have know my soulmate for 27 years and on the 6th August
I married him and became Mrs Garnham.
It was most definitely the happiest day of my life.
I love married life !!!!
CommentAuthorRebecca
we're bloody getting to that point i tell ya!!! it's £90 to hire kilts for them all and it's the same price to hire one for a 5 year old. how ridiculous is that? x
CommentAuthortasha
there are 8 men in our wedding party so at £80 a suit im quite pleased that they are all paying for their own!!!
CommentAuthorJay
we paid for our ushers and bridesmaids x
CommentAuthorkem
dads and ushers are paying for own.only best man is being paid for by h2b as a return favor from when he was best man for him. All bridesmaids are paying for there own also.
CommentAuthoryvonne
rebecca thats really expensive, i've been quoted £45 for a kilt hire for my son for another wedding from keogh and savage, my son is 13 and 5' 7" but the go by age not size, another place told me i'd have to pay an adult price, but even that is cheaper than yours at £75 xx
