Hi there ladies (and gents) i need your lovely help again,
(i havent been on recently as been too busy at work and stressing bout wedding but im back).
So we finally asked my brother to be an usher (some may remember the post and that my sil always causes trouble for me) well we went into the kiltshop a few months ago and said that we are having a big bridal party and things so the woman was like ok just tell them to come in each and there own time and we can get them meausred. so h2b got measured then an we left it for everyone else to go. (now what we want is for all the ushers to wear this specific tartan thats all we ask) h2b's friend has his own kilt but because he is an usher he is playing with it and he got his kilt measured and wearing this tartan.
So the other day i text my sil and asked if my brother had been down to the kiltshop only to be told my bro wants to wear his own kilt, now we had told him when we asked him that he has to wear this tartan if he is an usher i could tell he wasnt happy but thats what we want , he later asked me again when i went up to give him his birthday pressie again i stated no all the ushers are wearing the same and now this i dont know what to do. so im thinking ok he obviously aint happy and my sil is great at causing trouble so im thinking they wont go to the shop and il be too late to get anything then what? cause like one of the photos that the photographer is taking is all the ushers in those kilts. im really stressing i dont know what to do and feel sick someone help!! btw i forgot to mention we are paying for all the hire of the kilts.
CommentAuthorVelcro
What on earth does he have to moan about if hes not even paying?
If he's being that difficult Id probably just tell him if he's not got it sorted by X day then you won't have any other choice than to ask someone else.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorMrs Ross
hi velcro thats what my moh said and i know itl prob come down to that but i cant have like the other ushers all wearing the same and my bro wearing a different one that will just look silly in the photos. ive thought about saying fine but you cant be in any of the photos then but you see i know my mum will just stick up for him she always does hes the favourite (long story) and then it will cause loads of issues arrrrggggghhh help!!!!
CommentAuthorbrilly
I would just state if he is not going to wear the chosen kilt then he wont be wearing one at all its your day hun and what you want I cant see his problem when your paying for the hire of them I would go see him hun and just sit him down and explain how important it is to you and that he agreed he would wear the one you chose so what is his problem xx
31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018
CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
Personally if it was me I'd say. You have two choices either suck it up and get measured before x date. Or you won't be an usher as its my wedding my money and my day, if you have an issue with that then you are welcome as a guest and I will ask someone else to be usher x
i gave him a text this morning asking whats happening but he hasnt got back to me yet its easter on the 31st so we will be going over then but thats too late because the lady in the shop asked for all the deposits by 31st so stressed what else are they gonna do?
CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
Are you able to go over soon like this week? As be better to say to his face as he can't ignore u then. Be strong and don't go through the sil as it has nothing to do with her! X good luck
CommentAuthorJennyHeather
He should resepct your wishes and where the same kilt as the others, he needs to put himself out just for one day it won't hurt him.
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
Just talk to him, explain your concerns and then if he still insists, tell him he's not doing it. If he was having to pay himself then I could maybe understand but I don't see what his issue is.
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary
CommentAuthorMrs Ross
yeah i think i might go over this week and see him im so annoyed and so is mil2b shes so so angry at him (my mum and dad are not quite interested in the wedding yet)
CommentAuthorsarah
If your SIL causes so much trouble why did you contact her about trouble with an usher? Your husband should be contacting him first as it is his usher. Perhaps a little man to man talk between the two of them will sort it out.
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
I don't see the problem your brother isn't paying for the hire of the kilt so he needs to suck it up for one day the most important day of your life also I agree with Sarah get your H2B to have a man to man talk with him an don't tell your sil2b nothing its on of her business and she just causing trouble the less she knows the better she cannot mess anything up that way =D ♥ X
Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college
Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together
To be Mrs Lana Jocelyn Deaton on 23.10.2015 5 years the day
Jamiroquai Arthur Gordon Deaton Born 29/05/2015 My Son Jammy
CommentAuthormrsV2013
I wouldn't contact her about it. I'd always go straight to your brother and tell him straight. The one good thing about it is that you know what might happen so you can prevent it. That's better than getting to he wedding day to find out he's got what he wants and not what you asked for.
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorMrs Ross
hey sorry i forgot to mention that in my post to i was just even so angry at writing it lol i had text sil as heard nothing from them then when she replied with that i instantly phoned the hubster and gave him the sils number he sent her a text and copied me in saying that he is wanting all the ushers to wear the same kilts so that they all match and said about even his other usher has his own kilt but he is still wearing what we ask. he put everyone else has now been apart from my bro and the deadline is 31st. he then got a reply from the sil saying that she had forwarded it on so just to make sure she did i have now text my bro asking if he got it but no reply yet if there is no reply by thurs i think i will get hubster to text him directly what you think? i could kick myself though like you all said i should have gave hubster my bros number
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
just give your H2B your bros number and get him to text your brother or go with your H2B and meet up with your brother let them have a man to man talk stop being so lenient on your brother he has nothing to complain about its your wedding an your asking him to wear a kilt your paying for wheres the problem I don't see it even your H2B brother is wearing the kilt you ask of him and he has his own kilt tell him to man up
Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college
Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together
To be Mrs Lana Jocelyn Deaton on 23.10.2015 5 years the day
Jamiroquai Arthur Gordon Deaton Born 29/05/2015 My Son Jammy
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
tbh i would tel they all have to be there on a certain date ...and you go too so that you can make sure over the tartan you want
i think youve done all you can now hun, if he refuses to get there by the 31st hes only got himself to blame, good luck!!
why hes digging his heels in though is beyond me. what a clown.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorJillianL47
Have you considered just approximating his size and putting a deposit down? They're waiting for the deadline to pass, but if you've already got one sorted, he has no excuse. If it's too small/big it will be his tough luck.
CommentAuthorBlue
Is there a reason why he wont wear the tartan you want? I cant understand why he hasn't been, especially as its you thats paying for it. (my H2B would rather burn his own eyes out than wear a green kilt as he's a rangers man) I cant even buy green tea towels! I agree with everyone else, if the dead line is 31st for deposits i'd give him until the 29th. If he still hasn't been then you've saved yourself some money on kilt hire and wedding party gifts. Put it towards a big bottle of wine for all the stress he's caused you lol x
Lauren & Andrew
26 . 07 . 2014
CommentAuthorBobsi
Oh Hun. It's always family. big hugs.
You and H2B should speak to him together and say he has until the 24th to decide what he wants to do, if he insist on wearing his own tartan then tell him he's not being an usher, it's only one day I'm sure he can respect your wishes that for that long. That way you have a week to decide if you want another usher in his place or use the money for something else.
X
Got together June 11th 2006
Getting married June 11th 2014
8 years to the day and I'll be Mrs T.
CommentAuthorRachaelH78
edited
Tell him if you're not important enough to him for him to suck it up and wear what you'd like him to for YOUR day then he isn't worth paying out the money for the rental so he can forget being an usher! So mean for him to dictate what he's wearing on your big day! X
CommentAuthorMrsManiatt
I agree that you should get H2B to speak to him, after all, groomsmen are meant to be grooms choice and responsibility, so one it'll take the stress off you, and if H2B says if you dont wear it i'll ask someone else, he may listen abit more xxx
CommentAuthorLulu1388
I think i got to agree with the other ladies, you need your OH to go and speak to him. Explain the concerns, and if he still insists then tell him unfortunately he is no longer able to be an usher. Its one thing to be like this if he was to pay for it himself, but no need to moan in these circumstances. Yes he's entitled to his opinion but cant be dictating. thats a whole other story.
hope you sort it out hun x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorDecember
I would stop texting. Either phone or even better go and see him. Put him in the car and take him to the shop. Or go to their house, get his kilt and a tape measure, measure it, take the measurements to the shop.
If he still refuses then I think the other ladies are right, its the end of the line for him as an usher, as he is clearly not showing the role, or you and your h2b the respect that is deserved, and pride in being involved in your day.
CommentAuthorVelcro
I'd end up throttling him :|
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorMrs Ross
god im nearly there velcro hahahaha @jmr i cant exactly say right get in the hes 36!!! i would like him to man enough but im just home and asked h2b if he has heard anything yet but still nothing. I am firmly worried they will just let the deadline pass without a care in the world!
CommentAuthorbrilly
edited
I would do as 1 of the ladies said hun just hire one so if he does let the deadline pass to try wear his own you can say "there you go i got it for you " even if you explain to the shop your dilema and ask if you can hire one with a reserve on the size x
31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018
CommentAuthorsita_meena
If it was me I would tell him straight that if he wants to be an usher he WILL wear the kilt your H2B has chosen and if he won't then he is no longer an usher
