Wedding Forum - Does anyone else have a family from hell?...

I put a previous post on her about my parents not wanting any part of our hindu ceremony and insulting my husband to be and his family. After a long stream of insulting emails my mother has now suggested she's not coming at all and telling everyone how I've said they're not coming, which I haven't. I've the been trying to contact my sister, whose daughter is bridesmaid, to find out when I can take her to get her shoes and have a dress fitting. I've tried texting, calling and email, and no response. If my mother has been doing her usual trick and now my sister is refusing to go because my mum is, then I wish she would just have the decency let me know so that I can fill their places and try to find another bridesmaid. I'm already dealing with a chronically sick disabled child and my ex husband dragging me through the courts, I cant believe they are being so selfish. Am I missing something or do any of you other brides out there have the same problems?

I do not get on with H2B's family at all! His mother assaulted me cos she was yelling at H2B about how both he and I are liars, well obviously I heard her say this and uite politely told her I am not a liar, to which she then grabbed me, bruising me (the assault) and yelled at me to leave her house, the door was behind me, there was a wall on one side of me, her on the other, she wouldnt let go so I physically couldnt leave despite trying, I was more than happy to leave, she insulted me, called me a liar, why would I want to stay. She then disowned H2B cos he stuck up for me by putting himself between the two of us and yelling at her to let me go, he can be uite intimidating when he wants to be, and she let go, I took the car keys from H2B and left, sat in the passenger seat waiting for him. God knows why they are now talking, the whole thing was over a child seat they insisted on buying (we made perfectly clear we wanted britax which was not in stock and they insisted on getting it on our behalf and bringing it up to us, a week later they turned up with a nania car seat that had no UK test tickets and the clip fell apart on second use endangering our son & convieniently his parents didnt give us the reciept, turns out his parents got his cousin to get it using her staff discount and she still had the reciept)

So yes we all have problems with family every now and again.

However in your case if I remember the post correctly, you wanted your parents to join in with things that are "expected of them" from your H2B's family that you have not met yet, if I remember you requested that your parents live up to the expectations of another culture.... personally if I were expected to live up to the requests of another culture, asked to embrace someone elses culture, I would refuse unless they were doing the same. Could there be any chance that your parents are infact racist, or disagree with the borders being open so much? Please don't take offence as this is not how it is meant, just trying to say that some people disagree with English people being made to follow in line with another cultures religion etc, in England. Maybe, your parents feel that, if your wedding is in England, you should have a typically English wedding, however if it were in the country of your H2B's decent it should follow that culture?

Once again I am not trying to offend, when things are read/typed it can be taken the wrong way as you can't hear the tone the person is speaking in.... BTW my tone is respectful, questioning, curious, and simply trying to help with suggestions of how "some people" feel.....

EDIT: This is not my views btw just that I am aware some people have these views

well the bridesmaid dress, jewellery and hair stuff is all paid for, just the shoes to get, unfortunately the reserve bridesmaid options mean the dress has to be shortened and taken in by a lot or made 2 sizes bigger.I cant afford to get another bridesmaid dress.
Katya- I'm not offended at all. We are doing the english ceremony too, and the whole wedding is 50/50, and his family are taking part in the english ceremony, quite happily. I think when you ask if my parents are perhaps slightly racist, you may be right. They have a problem with anything that is different, including their disabled granddaughter. They didnt accept an ex of mine who was black, so maybe they dont like the fact that my fiance is indian.
I will try my sister again and have my back up plan ready to go just in case. One things for sure, this is not going to ruin my wedding.

Face to face sounds best... You'd think as it's ur sister that she'd wanna gauge all views over the predicament before making any rash decisions, especially if ur mum is spreading fibs x

Hope your ok hun I cant believe how your family are going on maybe its best they dont come that way you know your day wont get spoilt. Hope you other sister and her hubby come through for you xx

I really hope you get things sorted hun!
Think we all have problems with families! xx

Awww hun sorry you are going through such a rough time with your family. Leave them to stew over it all and enjoy your day. They will be the ones with regrets about not shiring in your special day years from now not you xx

It's sad, but at least you know where you stand now and what your dealing with. I'm glad your not going to let this ruin your wedding. Still a shame though. X

OMG lala...at least my h2b parents pretend to like me when they are around as much as I pretend to like them. Although I have warned him if they start any carry on and he doesn't stick up for me there will be trouble. Parents think they have a right to control their child's life. I figure if you have a child you are responsible as far as keeping your child safe until they are old enough to make their own decisions, give them an education and feed and clothe them...once they are 18 you have no right to interfere in their life.

Oh my goodness. I haven't seen your previous post but sounds a little similar to a situation my sister had with different religions and there was a little awkwardness and tension for a while.

My parents wanted a RC church wedding, his family are JW's! Water and hot oil spring to mind. Absolutely no way were his parents going to embrace an RC church and no way my family were going to embrace a JW ceremony. Throw into the mix two cultures and my mother who sometimes goes off on one over little insignificant things and you have a recipe for a lot of tears and tantrums.

There were issues from both sides but I think my mum was the worst offender (sorry mum - I do love you but you were bad!).

My sister and BIL decided what was best was a civil ceremony therefore no religion at all and have a very traditional English wedding with a Chinese decoration colour scheme. Cue mum still not happy, she was actually really rude about what they'd chosen to the point I think she was picking on things for the sake of it.

Why can't parents just respect what their children want and if there are compromises both sides to have some respect for what is "different"?

Call your sister hun, speak to her so at least you know where you stand and can make alternative arrangements. Good luck hun xxx

My h2bs family are awful! Well majority - his mother is a complete cow and has bad mouthed me to everyone that will listen, I've had my fiancés brother threaten me and his dad and step mum completely blank me and it is all over money and the fact that I will not allow my h2b to be used as a cash machine to them. Needless to say they are not coming to the wedding and I couldn't be happier! They have caused us nothing but stress.

Sometimes you just got to walk away, parents or not there is never an excuse for rudeness when it affects their child's happiness.

I don't get on with my brother or sister at all, my brother is with this girl who is pure posion in my opinion she stirs up so much trouble between people I used to be her best friend but could see what she was doing to me so I stopped seeing her, she didn't like my sister and now they are pretty much best friends if i got back involved with the girlfriend then she would hate my sister then she works one off the other and my brother is no better either just because they have a child they expect everyone to be at there beck and call, and they are priority over everyone else so I just steer clear of them 2. My sister goes ou with a jobless drunk who has threatened me and H2B so many times so we keep clear of them 2 as well because they just cause so much trouble again my sister is another attention seeker so I just keep out the way. Both my brother and sister have been invited to the wedding (apart from my sisters boyfriend) my sister has apparantly said she isn't going which I'm quite pleased about, I'm just hoping my brother declines a bit, I've only invited them so that people can't slag me off for not so I've done my bit it's up to them if they come.

I have a decent relationship with my dad he's just chilled and doesn't get involved with us siblings not getting on, my mother I have a good relationship with apart from she does try to get us all speaking to each other and is constantly saying i think you should break the ice etc I just ignore her whenever she says that she should just leave us to it, I can't tell my mum a lot of things about the wedding either because she tells the other 2 everything. I get on fine with H2Bs sie of the family absolutely fine I try and think of myself as an only child lol.

But my mum can't complain because she has 2 other sisters and the 1 sister doesn't speak to her or the other one at all.