Is not intended to cause offence to any individual Is not intended to start an arguement but merely to express my personal opinion and to state facts
As a lot of you will know I am not a member of Facebook. Simple reason is that its just not for me. But I'm constantly hearing about peoples comments on it from others on this website. Hearing about how people are slagging off the Moderators behind our backs.
I know a lot of people have issues with how things run around here. All I can say is there are over 200,000 brides on here and not everyone is going to like how we do things.
Take for example the non-wedding category debate...
I have heard of how literally the Mods have been slagged off for allowing too much non-wedding to clog up the front page but LITERALLY a few comments later someone is moaning that the Mods don't allow you to talk about what you want?
My concern here is a lot of members are spending too much time bítching behind our backs rather than coming to us with their concerns! This weekend we decided to leave the forum be aside from links or arguements. Even when it came to links between us three mods we only had 3 people the whole weekend who were willing to come to us with problems. But there were a few comments on facebook made or comments on actual threads.
So my question to you is this, if you don't come to us how can we fix it?
We are women just like you who have families and jobs and weddings to plan and do this job out of the good of our hearts. So quite frankly its really hurtful to hear people talk about us behind our backs. If i had a problem with someone i would address it to their face.
So please. If you have problems, just come to us, you may be surprised! And if there are any improvements you want to see, again come to us.
"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde
- Moderator
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
I have complained once to a mod and although the problem wasn't sorted initially, as it wasn't a simple one to fix, because others also complained to the mods it was eventually fixed. If you don't complain to the right people you will probably not get the result that you would like. It may be the case that, as with my problem, there needs to be more than one person (out of 200,000!) that has this problem so if you don't say anything, no one knows. As you all have encountered with your weddings you can't please everyone in a group of up to 200 guests so what chance do they have on here.
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorVintageChic
Thanks MzEden
I mean as I said I'm not on Facebook so if it werent for others coming and telling me this I wouldntknow anything about the concerns people have. So how am I to fix them :-(
"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde
- Moderator
CommentAuthorAli
not wanting to get involved, but i think i know what this is about, and in a way have to agree with what the person wrote. I have had threads removed and then others have started a thread along the same lines as what i have posted yet theirs have been allowed.
Think the issue is with continuity and that some people can say things that others can't.
In no way am i critising you mods though, as i know that i wouldn't have the time to be a moderator and actually wouldn't want to as its too political. x
Happy to be Mrs Holt, love my husband and love the memories
of our wedding day
CommentAuthorVintageChic
To be honest Ali it's not about any one individual
this is something that's been happening for months sadly :(
surely u cant fix it if u not been spoken to personally have nt had a problem so far but if that does come one day u never know i will go and try to solve it with the person myself :) hope it will get better for u mods soon!!! xx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
I am backing Modmummy in saying that this is a problem that rumblimg for a while now .......if we dont see the comments we get told about them ....and it is very hurtful ..
ahh right, ok. The problem, and one that will always be around, is that text, email, status updates etc are never going to come across the same as if a person was to speak the comment out loud. A lot gets lost when it is put into words for others to read. And forums are always going to have issues with users and what one person sees as nothing, another person may see as something....x
Happy to be Mrs Holt, love my husband and love the memories
of our wedding day
I have to agree with Ali, I have noticed that some people get to mention spacific places and other like me get similar suggestions removed by the mods and told that you cant post links. I found this very unfair tryed to contcat a mod but it said their area was restricted. So could not leave them a messgae to ask why.
Unfortunatly this is a big prolem with forums sometimes people take things to hart when they are not ment in that way
This is just my opinian x
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
Ada thankyou for saying that some mods profile were restrcited ... i just checked mine and for some bizarre reason it had flipped to private.....i have now changed that so anyone can contact me if they need to
Thank you for that lala it does help when we need to ask you questions. Am i ok adding you as a friend now??
xx
CommentAuthor~*~ Becca ~*~
if you can't contact one of the mods..there another 2 or 3 that you can contact so i can't see how anyone can start throwing around that they can't contact any of the mods..all 3 are usually on at some point during the day so any questions will get answered but people just need to be patient
ive stepped away from the forum mainly cause ive been married for nearly 10 months now but i do find the fact that some people are acting like their being back at school in the sense of "but she gets to post her topic and i can't post mine its so unfair" ...instead of moaning and whinging, speak to a moderator and find out why this is the case rather than rant about it ...if people did this more i think a lot more people would be more inclined to stay and to come back!
anyhoo the mods do a fab job and im disgusted that anyone could be making such hurtful and upsetting comments about them behind their back..they don't get paid for this job and a few people seem to think its a walk in the park being a mod where it certainly isn't the case so for those that are making the comments, cut it out and give the mods a break! they have their own lives but come on here and have to sort out so much crap its unreal and i feel for them really i do!
17.09.2010 ---I am officially Mrs Rebecca Mollins
Twilight - its' like my own personal brand of Heroin...
Edward Cullen - The Hottest Vampire since 1901 !!
I have OTD - Obsessive Twilight Disorder :D
Can I just say Becca I was not having a go at the Mods all I was saying was that I tried to contcat one of them and thir profile was restricted. I dont apreciate people suggesting that I was having ago when all I was doing was saying what happened to me.
CommentAuthor~ஜ~Tiggs Daltry~ஜ~
edited
even after what happened with my thread i still back the mods,i have spoken to all the mods (one maybe later then i should of but she accepted my apology) and the situation was resolved,i agree that people should come to the mods if there is an issue (thinking back i wish i had),my gripe and please don't take it the wrong way is sometimes when you need a moderator theres not one to be found.i do have facebook but kept my issue quiet and separate from it .i still feel sorry for the mods on here as sometimes it comes across that no one is supporting them..with a forum this size your never going to please all 200,000 members,some people just get a kick out of moaning or bitching about others. like becca im now starting to distance myself from the forum,i come on the check my inbox and bookmarked threads but thats it,,this were another problem lies,this is a wedding forum,so for us the ones who are married we can only really offer advice having been there done that.and sometimes it feels like wer invisible,like our opinion doesnt matter.then you get the newbies who just rush on and post like theres no tomorrow,and when you point out to read the rules or use the search bar,you get a load of attitude back.yes the forum has changed but its not the moderators fault.its not the place it used to be and if im honest i dont think it will ever be like that again.i think the moderators need more support to enforce the rules either from admin or voting in additional mods to make sure there is someone here if problems should arise,but there has to be continuity in the rules
CommentAuthor~*~ Becca ~*~
i didn't say it was you ada...but there's been so many people in the past that have moaned and whinged..and others that said they can never get hold of a mod!!! i didn't mention your name !!
200,000 members with 3 moderators (4 but she's a new mummy) ...yeh they are going to manage to please everyone.
its quite annoying also that b2b's seem to take it out on mods with regards to the rules etc...its not the mods that make them..its the boss man the mods are just there to make sure people are sticking to them so would suggest anyone that has a problem with the rules, contacts J!
17.09.2010 ---I am officially Mrs Rebecca Mollins
Twilight - its' like my own personal brand of Heroin...
Edward Cullen - The Hottest Vampire since 1901 !!
I have OTD - Obsessive Twilight Disorder :D
CommentAuthorada
Thank you fro explaing that Becca. It was just that your post followed mine so thought that you were having a go at me. So sorry for thinking that.
CommentAuthorFoxySaurus
Can't you choose what comes up in the forum page? Block certain subjects from it etc? Think I saw something like that anyway. Maybe just make this a bit clearer, post it up with the rest of the sticky threads. That way people might see they can do something instead of complaining. I know you can choose which subjects to view at a time (alternative wedding, help, etc) I have no complaints at all! From helping mod forums before I know it can be a nightmare and I have no complaints about this site :) So far everyone I've ran into has been so lovely and I felt included when posting. Instead of there being a closed clique that took a while to get into I was welcomed almost instantly :)
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
foxy yes u can!
i dont agree wiv sl agging peopel off behind backs and puttin htings on facebook! but ali does have a point! wen i first started on here i put some topics i shouldnt have and got deleted and now others are doing the same and they arem't being deleted! but its prob cos ure all too busy to notice them!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthornickers
i think its wrong in slagging mods of they do have a hard job in kepeing this forum correct and i couldnt do it i contacted a mod about something and was sorted i think we all need a group hug lol xxx
MRS RICHARDSON HERE
LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY MY GORGEOUS SON
AND HANDSOME HUSBAND XXXX
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
to be fair i noticed anything wrong, but i dont cum on as much at mo!
all i can say women will be women and this is kinda thing women do!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthornickers
i have noticed the brides that have been around longer arent arund much at all i miss them
MRS RICHARDSON HERE
LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY MY GORGEOUS SON
AND HANDSOME HUSBAND XXXX
CommentAuthornickers
just wanted to know how long do threads get sun k after posted?
MRS RICHARDSON HERE
LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY MY GORGEOUS SON
AND HANDSOME HUSBAND XXXX
CommentAuthornickers
i did notice that this wkend there were some threads about what shall i do or pointless ones which could be kept in the gc tbh i find them silly!!!!x
MRS RICHARDSON HERE
LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY MY GORGEOUS SON
AND HANDSOME HUSBAND XXXX
CommentAuthorekielty(now Trow)
I wasnt aware of any slagging off the mods but if i had known about it i would have stepped in and put people straight..
I dont come on the forum so much anymore - i just read my bookmarked threads and say hi to the newbies!
people need to start realising how good a job these mods do... it definitely isnt easy! xxx
Very very happy as Mrs Erica Trow
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! xx
CommentAuthorTinsel
I think there needs to be more Mods so that there are more people on-line when you need one. Loads of ladies have left this site because of arguments or whatever and that makes me feel sad. People have offered to become Mods to help out and even up the work load, so why not take up their offer? I'm not saying Mods can't handle it, but you have lives and jobs and families and weddings, so why not ask for more? Many hands make light work! 5 isn't enough for 200,000 members!
07.04.12 - the best day of my life!
Living happily ever after as Mrs Nottage x
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
sorry nickers i will cum on more! i know its a weddin site but 'all wedding' talk gets a bit OTT sumtimes and the ginwag ure conversation gets lost!
tinsel here here x
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorNat
edited
Wow, I have just joined and after reading all of this, its fair to say I will not be sticking around....To all the lovely ladies that are getting married, join ...............its a much better site, all the girls are lovely and there is no bitching at all, we all help each other out.... plus you can say what you like (as long as it does not offend anyone) and post as many links as you please! Gosh, this thread has reminded me of my school days, not good!!!
POST HAS BEEN EDITED ......YOU CANNOT COME ON HERE PROMOTING OTHER SITES
CommentAuthor~ஜ~Tiggs Daltry~ஜ~
pmsl!!! well thats my point proved,newbies just march in without reading the forum rules and do what they like posting all sorts of stuff!!
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
our point exactly tiggs
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorMrsSaraParry!
It sounds like I'm back at school - I have parents coming in moaning that 'so and so has said whatever to my child and you didn't do anything' and I'm like, well they didn't tell me so how am I supposed to know about it in order to do anything? So yeah, if you've got a problem you need to tell the mods otherwise they can't do anything to help. If you're not prepared to tell them, don't moan, simple. I think its sad that people are b*tching on other sites, but what I find more sad is that others think they need to tell the mods that its happening - what is that going to achieve besides hurting the feelings of the mods? Its silly, and sometimes ignorance is bliss. Sorry if people don't agree, I've got my teacher head on and it just seems like really mean, childish behaviour to me.
CommentAuthorKat
I don't really want to get involved apart from to say that some of the people I most look forward to having a chat with are the mods. This translates to they are all lovely and approachable and we all need to remember they have busy lives as well so some support and appreciation would go a long way.
CommentAuthorkrisw86
i havent noticed anything, and if i had, i too would have stepped in and put a stop to it. the mods are there to help, and do a fantastic job every day. they shouldnt be slagged off. we're grown women, and those that choose to act like school girls and say spiteful things shouldnt be getting married impo, they should be learning how to treat people the way that they wish to be treated. that was one of the main things i was taught growing up. if u dont want it done to u, dont do it to others. i do agree that we could probably benefit from some more mods as there isnt always one online. only my opinion, and i apologise if i have offended anyone with my thoughts much love all xx
CommentAuthornickers
i cant understand why people go around being nasty if they have a problem speak up and it will get resolved yes agree more mods be good x
MRS RICHARDSON HERE
LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY MY GORGEOUS SON
AND HANDSOME HUSBAND XXXX
CommentAuthorMrsMcleish2B
There really isn't any need to be bitchy to ANYONE regardless of whether your a MOD or a Member gosh life is FAR too short and we all have weddings to plan!! xxxx
Wedding Day - 16th June 2012
CommentAuthorekielty(now Trow)
Very very happy as Mrs Erica Trow
I feel like the luckiest girl in the world! xx
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
aww i dont understand why people have to be so nasty to others! dont people get taught that you should treat other how you would want them to treat you! i have to say that i have found everyone on here sooo helpful and i havent had any problems! i havent been on much recently as it was getting me down (money issues and wedding planning is expensive!) so i havent noticed any problems but i think you mods are doing a fab job!!! xxx
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
i love you ry!!!
engaged midnight 2009
Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorGriff
I back this totally the mods on here do their level best to make this site run smoothly if people have problems tell them don't go making personal remarks as it is not fair to the ladies working their hardest xxx
CommentAuthorJoey
all this gripe just gives me a headache.... lets all get back to planning our beautiful weddings and remember why we joined the site in the first place......
CommentAuthorUnknown
Wow... I feel like I have missed so much. We don't have Internet at the mo so using my phone which is s nightmare. I havnt been in here much for about 2 weeks but have seen things in fb. The kids do a great job but you can't please eveyone.
I think for me I stopped coming on here as much because I noticed a lot of people werent coming in as much and using the group in fb but as everyone knows I spoke to mods about that x
CommentAuthorMrsV2b
i dont no why people have to have a b*tch and moan all the time, this is a fantastic site with brilliant mods who are down to earth and you can talk to. What is wrong with people, why cant they stay on fb and not come on here if all they want to do is put people down, this is a wedding site where brides can chat to other brides and get advice, not as someone has already put it a school playground so either grow up and leave the mods alone or stay on fb where your comments will not upset other users of this site.
getting married on 29th June 2013
You cant please everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love smillies :)
I think I must've managed to avoid popping on to any of the b1tchy posts, because this is pretty much the first I've heard of it and I'm actually pretty disgusted.
This site has been nothing but helpful to me. I've felt more than welcomed and supported and have found some absolutely FAB ideas that I fully intend to pinch for my wedding! The mods do a hard job - as mods do on all online forums - and it does seem that there are far too many cases of "not reading the rules".
It may put off some of the other newbies, but another forum I've used used to have a policy that every time a newbie (or someone with less than 20 posts to their profile, I think it was) they were taken to a screen to re-read and acknowledge they'd read the rules by tick box before their comment was allowed to be posted.
I'm not sure how fully internet-savvy/truly nerdy you ladies are, but without wanting to patronise anyone, I just want to point out that there's a horrible phenomenon known as trolling that has been around as long as forums. Sounds like we may have experienced one or two on here too. Trolls just don't look good in wedding dresses!
On 21st April 2012 I will marry my best friend!
NikkyPickles is proud to be a Nerdette!
CommentAuthorhjl2001uk
Oooh what is trolling? lol.x
Can't wait to be the better half of
MR & MRS SMITH
Brad and Angelina eat your heart out!
CommentAuthorNerdette
Ok, without hijacking the thread... Trolling is where someone posts on a forum with the deliberate (but often quite subtle) goal of getting people's backs up. They often deliberately go against forum rules, specifically to get an angry reaction. Ironically (see opening sentence), they will often hijack a thread to spin it to their own satisfaction as the arguments escalate. In extreme cases the troll gets found out, banned, but opens a new account under a different name and fills the forum with spam as revenge. I'm not sure that has applied in this case - fingers crossed!
On 21st April 2012 I will marry my best friend!
NikkyPickles is proud to be a Nerdette!
CommentAuthorMRST
i had a bit of a rant and rave on here only because tiggs deserved an answer, i still think that all mods need to be working off the same page, it cannot be one rule for one and one for another. i totally understand that the mods have a job to do an its hard to please everyone and all the b*tching and moaning must be a pain. i just want this place to be fun again,,,,
CommentAuthor~*~ Becca ~*~
only tiggs deserved a answer? wtf !!! We're all entitled to our opinions and im sorry if you haven't liked mine or any body else's
i only come on once on a blue moon now because of all the crap and because of all the moaning from people that its unfair that their post gets deleted and someone else's doesnt obviously not realising the mods can't do everything at once and there are times when there might not be mods on til later on in the day etc...and they do try and work off the same page but if people are coming at them from all angles its hard to all stay at the same level sometimes!..
this is why i dont come on much..i only come on to say hi to a few of my mates on here and speak to a mate that doesn't have fb
17.09.2010 ---I am officially Mrs Rebecca Mollins
Twilight - its' like my own personal brand of Heroin...
Edward Cullen - The Hottest Vampire since 1901 !!
I have OTD - Obsessive Twilight Disorder :D
CommentAuthor~ஜ~Tiggs Daltry~ஜ~
becca sharons on about what happened to my post hun
CommentAuthorMRST
no becca tiggs wanted to know who closed her thread so i comment saying its out of order, tiggs has now got the issue sorted and as you say we are entitled to an opinion, so y say wtf????. you havent commented on anything to do with me. no the mods cant do everything, but if you look you will see that some peoples comments stay others dissapear.
i have noticed the brides that have been around longer arent arund much at all i miss them
