I'm getting married in April but I already feel like people are having a go at me and H2B about our plans! We're not a very traditional couple and though we are doing most of the traditional wedding things there are always people about (mainly family but friends too sometimes) to get us down about our decisions and moan about them. I really want everyone to have a lovely time on my wedding day but this is really stressing me out! For example we are having quite a big bridal party and need them to chip in a bit with outfits because we can't afford them all ourselves, we are going to have a tiny civil wedding separate so that our friends can conduct our own 'big' ceremony exactly how we want it and write our own personalised vows for each other...some people are even moaning that it's not going to be in a Church even though neither of us are Christian! And I'm getting criticism that I don't want to wear a veil, and when I take my mum and MOH dress shopping they always like a different dress to the ones I like most...also our drinks package is going to be non-alcoholic so I'm worried about people moaning about that too :/ and we might not have favours either because of budget. I like shows like 4 Weddings but people seem so obsessed with alcohol I've seen loads of people moan about not getting free alcohol but in my mind you go to a wedding to support your loved ones not to get bevvied you can go out after for that! Also I'm starting to think I don't want to have a hen night after all but I'm too scared to tell my MOH because she's really excited planning it and things :( ! I don't know what to do it's all stressing me out!!
Sorry for a rant just how do you deal with all the criticism?!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
hun if people want to moan it will show you who not to invite !
I'm with lala on this one. You will never please everyone. My fave saying on this site...your day, your way.
We got married in Vegas (not me and lala, although we did both get married there, to different people, at different times LOL). Then we had a blessing in our local park that was attended by our closed friends and family followed by a party/reception at a local restaurant that we hired for the evening, for about 80 people. The blessing was officiated by our very good friend, and included a hand-fasting ceremony. Very personal, very perfect, for us.
So glad we did what we wanted, and in the end, everyone agreed :)
You can write your own vows at a non religious ceremony.. If that's the reason you're only having a small ceremony anyway..
Look, it's YOUR day ! You have it exactly the way you want it.. I'm not getting married in a church because neither of us believe in God.. My mum is very upset about it but understands..
If people want alcohol, let then spend their own money at the bar.. Don't feel guilty for not paying to get people drunk..
We're not having hens or stags.. We don't believe in them for one, and secondly I am not a clubber, a spa goer or any other thing that people tend to do.. We would like to have a get together for our families to meet before the day but its so hard to get everyone on a free weekend for anything smaller than a wedding/christening etc..
Please don't let people dictate or guilt you into having a day you dont want.. You'll regret it for the rest of your lives xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorsarah
Agree with all the advice from the other ladies, I just wanted to add what they don't know about they can't complain about.
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Very good point Sarah !! Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-)
4th July 2015
CommentAuthorvic:)
its your special day and you will remember it forever, so you need to do it how you want... ppl who love u will understand and appreciate that and enjoy the day! x
CommentAuthormym72
edited
We didn't do wholly traditional. We got married at Gretna Green with just 19 of us there. We didn't want a civil ceremony but didn't want the 'stuffiness' of a traditional priest/vicar - so had a minister from Assemblies of God church perform our ceremony. There wasn't a dog collar or long robe in sight lol. We also didn't stick with the 'traditional' transport - and had a vw campervan complete with ribbon and chauffeur.
Afterwards we had our reception in the hotel that we were staying in for the weekend, then spent the rest of the night in the hotel bar with our own cd's, late bar etc - and still could dance as well as spend time with all our guests.
When we got back from honeymoon we had an evening reception for everyone else (friends, extended family, colleagues) locally - so in all we spread the celebrations out for about 4 weeks!!
CommentAuthorFernP61
Hun it's YOUR wedding! Don't let them dictate to you there's nothing wrong with not getting married in a church, alot of people opt for a civil ceremony or registry office, as for non alcoholic drinks sorry their getting a drink yes it's not alcoholic but they will know where the bar is grr people like this pxxxx me right off x
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
Were not having a church , neither of us are christian and i find it hypocritical to have it in a chirch when you don't believe just to have the traditional church wedding, were havibg civil ceremony at our chosen venue, our bms an ushers are playing for their own outfits, we are having alcohol but not an open bar, just some drinks with the meal, and our theme, doctor who is very out there, my fmil keeps on telling me its all wrong etc, and dhould do it this way etc so try my best not to disscuss it with her.
Lots of people don't wear a veil now adays, i myself have not decided, waiting for my dress to then decide whether it looks nice with it or no etc!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorMaddykins
Thanks for your support girlies, get very emotional sometimes as we are lacking a lot of family support too. I was at H2B's uncle's wedding yesterday, was beautiful but brings to home the fact that both of H2B's parents are refusing to come or support us in any way for no real reason, and my dad is difficult about it all too and none of his side of the family will be at the wedding as they all live abroad and won't be able to come because of money/work/visas etc probably and my brother is also refusing to come, all a big mess really :( but I don't want them to mean we miss out on having a beautiful wedding day as H2B says everyone who wants to support us will be there so that is the main thing!!
Dr Who theme, sounds fab Lana!! Yeah we are not paying for alcohol but of course people can buy their own at the bar if they want. I am going to ask the venue if they will let us put a bouncy castle on their grounds for the kids haha but I think they will say no because the grounds are open to the public usually. But we'll see!
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Maddy that sucks about your h2b's parents not coming or your brother; it will only happen once hopefully and they should be there but guess they have their reasons. As for people moaning; forget about it; it is your and your h2b's wedding and you can have it how you want :)
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
Your Wedding so do it how you want it. I can sympathise a little with you.
At the moment me & H2b are trying to decide if we want any readings or not.
We are having a non-religious ceremony and our vows that we have chosen from the ceremony pack we have been sent are very much about being best friends, supporting each other, having a sense of humour and generally having fun because we love each other and in the language that people understand so no "thou" or "thee" etc.
When I have spoken to people about this they have all said how they would have very traditional and go for the thou's and thee's and being quite soppy whereas we aren't a very soppy couple. So when readings are involved they aren't very us but we think we may go with 1 reading if we can find a reading that isn't too soppy and goes along with the vows we are having.
We are having things our way though and we will be the one to decide. We are having a few differences for example, instead of the Best Man having both rings, my MOH will have H2bs ring and pass it to me and Best Man will have my ring to pass to H2b.
Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
CommentAuthorangel830609
have it how you want and ignore those putting a dampner on things, like the other's have said, your wedding your way :) xx
it's been a long hard road, but hopefully we're getting
somewhere :) xx
