exactly what it says ... i think we me and h2b maybe cancelling our wedding and going our seperate ways ....

i am so confused soooooo confused....

sat night after i came back from my friends he asked why i was quite i replied and said because you are...to which started a kind of arguement no shouting just heated discusion....we have both come to the same conclusion we cant live with each other... im a very cuddly person loves affection cuddles etc and h2b is totally the opposite he seems to think my passionate side wanting cuddles and kisses etc is me being needy but it isnt its because i am very touchy feely , im not 100% messy but dont mind a bit of messed more lived in where as h2b like it totally show home no mess any where everything in cupbaoards and that about me annoys him at the weekends he wants to be out and about walking up hills exploring... i physically hate being outside in the cold walking it bores me and hurts my shins am more of a sociable person love socialising with everyone he doesnt hes shy but he is mr safe and would never hurt me and always thinks of me and everything he does is for me and my son ...

so we decided on sat night that the wedding is off and theres no point carrying on....

then sunday before he went away (hes away till friday night) he said he doesnt want it over he can change etc etc he can see being with me in 60 years time (hope not ill be nearly 91 and prob weeing myself!!).... thing is thou is i dont know if i can live like this any more im craving cuddles and kisses and s3x but i dont get them i dont ask any more either cos all i get is stop being needy and i dont want to ask for them i shoildnt have to ...i even said he hugs and strokes the dog more than me (to which his reply was well you dont any babies and she is my surrogate baby as shes a puppy)

the wedding is in 4mths... i have no clue what to do .... i do love him but is it really enough just to love someone

sorry for the post im just at a loss what to do

aww big hugs hunni, u need to give yourself time to think, like you say you have a week to decide.
Hope it all works out
xxxxxxx

Your relationship sounds exactly the same as mine and H2B. But the difference is, we have learnt to live with one another and except one another becuase we really love eachother and cant be apart. His learnt to live with my messiness, lol. His obsessed with tidyness. So i have tried harder to be more tidy and most days I have it relitivley tidy for when he gets home. Also my H2B is the same, hates staying in, likes to go out every weekend seeing people or going for walks. Whereas im quite happy staying in. But we have learnt to compromise.

I think if u really love eachother you will adjust to eachothers ways. Its give and take in a relationship. I hope u manage to work things out so your both happy becuase deep down i dont think this is what u want x

Aw Corc, what to say... you will have 5 days just you and your son so by the end of the week you might be more capable of making a decision. Me and H2b enjoy quite similar things but enjoy doing them for the other as it brings them happiness...is there some middle ground you could meet, he goes out socialising with you once a month and you all take the dog out a walk along the beach or similar, get back to the place where love was enough...I really hope you can reach the right decision for you
Sending you a big <hug> (I'm a hugger too)
xx

Oh my goodness hun! That sounds like your in a bit of a horrible situation!

You really need to decide what you want to do hun... Me and David had a big row before Christmas and I thought we wouldn't make it but its just because we both had cold feet and were nervous and there was a lot of other things going on in our life at the same time and we took our stress out on each other... we had a massive blow out argument then left it a couple of days to cool off and then had a heart to heart.. I told him what i wanted and what i hoped for out of our relationship and once he knew things got better, the relationship is better than it has ever been.

Maybe you should wait for him to get back and then both go out for a drink or a meal together and talk... dont argue but just talk and lay all your cards on the table. Try not to be too hasty and cancel the wedding based on one argument. Your probably both all over the place as marriage is a big commitment. There may be more to it than you think?

I hope that you get to sit and talk to each other. Surely he should know that your not an outdoorsy person from being in a relationship with you and he must know that you are an affectionate person. He wouldnt have wanted to marry you if he didnt know you as such, I would just sit and talk to him hun! Good luck and let us know what you decide! we are all here for you! xxxxxx

Well said jo x

do wat ure heart feels hun!! seee if he changes in next 2 months or so

OK passion and cuddles aside are you happy? It could be there is an underlying issue with him which is making him not want it. Could be something as silly as he thinks he isn't good enough for you or he may have even been abused at some point and finds it hard to show emotion. Its something that can be worked on if you both agree to make the effort with each other and stick to it etc.

Surely there must be some good things in the relationship for you to have even considered marrying him in the first place? Something about him differences aside made you guys fall in love with each other. When ever you get this close to a big commitment it will make you question everything. To be honest it is what woke me up and make me realise I was a compete idiot for being with the ex so I can understand why are you doing this.

I know you can live without him but do you want to live without him? The two are very different things.

Why don't you write yourself the pros and cons. What makes you happy what doesn't. You can then show h2b when he comes home so he can see the things that he is doing right and then take on board and help change the things that are not so good. He could do the same too so at least you both know where things are going wrong and if you are each prepared to work on the areas that need changing.

Hun, to me it sounds like you have made your decision x

yes me 2! and if u do pro's n con's dont do wat ross did on friends lol

what did ross do on friends???

crocadillio rachel saw the list lol

lol yes do it! i think councilin is gud

thats the thing he used to light my fire .... i just want that back then i will be the happiest ever

Hello hun

I have read ALL these posts, and have come to the conclusion you are not happy...
a few questions tho.
1) can you live without the cuddles?
2 can you live without the S*X?

I love my H2B more than anything.. we both have cuddles but S*x is a no go at the moment.. i thik its due to my health problems, but hes fine with it... dont think we have had S*x in about 5 months.. the cuddles are on tap tho .. so i do know id be gutted if i didnt have them.. but if they did stop id want to know why...

I really hope you sort this as you say you have lived together a year, thats a long time.. Was he affectionate when you first met????

xx

I had to reply to this.. Croc your other half sounds so much like me. I hate cuddles, I'm probably the least affectionate person in the world and I tick a good few of the other boxes as well. I've got tons of issues with my emotions and my other half and me both go to see a counsellor regularly to talk stuff through, even though it all started way before I met him. The problem is I subconsciously take stuff out on him by withholding affection, maybe he is doing the same to you without realising? We are different in almost every way possible, the key has been finding a common ground like everyone else has said, and trying to base things on that. Dont give up on him hun - if he is texting you saying he will change etc maybe he would be willing to try some counselling like someone else suggested? I know a lot of people are cynical about that but it's really helping me. Drop me a line if you want to chat x

mayb switch ure fone off this week have no contact and see hwo u feel?

i think couples therapy will really work - i tried get my partner go with me the other year when we were going through a bad patch, but he didnt want go, i went on my own though and conveyed a lot of the info back, and we are really good now :) a lot of the issues were due to me because of my past, we just had to learn to get on with it together.

I hope you two make it... huggles xxx

aw lets hope you can resolve things hun and get through your problems xx