I want you, i shall seek & find you. I shall take you to bed & have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when im finished with you & you will be weak for days. All my love, swine flu x
i sent this to my mum and dad and sister and they all text back seconds later saying didnt you mean to send that to your fiancee, and i said JUST READ THE REST OF THE BLOODY TEXT lol! classical day that was!
CommentAuthorSuzi
LMAO!!!! I love that joke but love the fact that your family didn't read it properly lol lol lol
Do not disturb... Already disturbed enough!
CommentAuthorVida
lol... that's really funny. and a brill idea!!!! hehe
CommentAuthorMrs.Caz.Lewis
they all messaged me back and i think they only read the first page and was like
OMG DONT YOU MEAN TO SEND THAT TO RAY! THATS DISGUSTING!
i was like read the rest of the text for crying out loud, my sister still didnt think it was funny !
CommentAuthorceli
HAHA! They must have read the first line and been like 'ok...'
i think thats all they did celi! i was peeing myself cos i was thinking, thats exactly what i was like when i first read it, but i read it all the way through. it was great, they are always sending me jokes, theyre great!
CommentAuthorcandygirl1uk
LOL, I did start reading that thinking erm...... but thenI was ha ha ha ha!
CommentAuthorMrs Steph Lapworth
I was gonna say how can your fiances uncle send u something like that till i got to the end lol its very good
Love Steph xxx
28th May 2011
Is Now Mrs Lapworth xxx
CommentAuthorFaye
haha brill, my mom sends me loads of stuff like that! x
CommentAuthorMrs.Caz.Lewis
lol i no what you mean i freaked out at first too but his uncle and aunty are mental, always sendin me funny jokes.
best ever joke he sent was this....
tesco installed a medical machine that for £5 & a urine sample would diagnose any condition. when jim went with a sore elbow the computer printout read : you have tennis elbow, soak it in water & avoid heavy work for 2 weeks. impressed jim wondered if he could fool the machine. he mixed tapwater with dog poo, urine samples from his wife & daughter & the pleasured himself into the mixture. when he tipped it into the machine the next day the printout read: 1. your tapwater is too hard use softener. 2. your dog has ringworm, give it antibiotics. 3. your daughter is on cocaine, get her to rehab. 4. your wife is expecting twins, not yours, get a lawyer. 5. if you keep playing with yourself, your elbow wont get better! thankyou for shopping at tesco!
CommentAuthorMrs Steph Lapworth
Pmsl thats good i like that
Love Steph xxx
28th May 2011
Is Now Mrs Lapworth xxx
CommentAuthor~* Jen *~
I love both of them! Found MrsLewisToBe's slightly more funny though! lol
CommentAuthorButterflyDreamer
lol thats a good one :0) x
CommentAuthorpouchi-loo
lol, i was thinking his uncle sent that and you like it, then i got to the end and burst out laughing. good one. will be sending it to my best friend later, then she think it a booty text lol.
CommentAuthorlittle_maus
thats well funny so gonna pinch that lol xx thanyou xx
CommentAuthorVida
MrsLewisToBe- lol really funny and what a great machine! I guess tesco really knows how to spread the words, every little helps, right?! LOL
