Wedding Forum - No Personal Friends only partners friends...

You don't have to have any bridesmaids at all if there isn't anyone you want to ask, as long as there is someone who can help you get ready. That could be your mum or your aunty if they are around. It is a nice touch to have someone from your partner's family though, as it shows the two families coming together. Could you arrange some social time with the people that you're thinking of asking to get to know them better? The odd night in or at the pub could be quite good to create a bit more of a bond, and you might find that some of them become good friends. As for the hen do the key thing is to make sure that you do something that you will enjoy. You don't have to have a hen do at all if you don't feel like you will enjoy it, but you could make it an opportunity to give yourself a treat, even if it's just you.

Thanks for the reply,
Yeah I definitely want bridesmaids and a hen do,
I'm just an awkward bugga aha, I think I'll try a pub meet up or something and bring my partner along as I haven't asked them to be my bridesmaids yet as I'm waiting till I have the official date set in stone :)

Hi Ellie,

I don't think there's an issue with that at all.
I asked my SIL in the hope that it would build our relationship so similar to what you are saying here.

Definitely agree with the others that you should arrange a few meet ups first to see if you get along etc.

Another thing to point out, there's no reason why you're aunt cant be too. I saw an article a few months back bout a bride who had her nan as bridesmaid.

It sounds like your auntie is filling in the mother of the bride role. Not all older women feel comfortable being bridesmaids, I had one MOH who was 48 and she did it because she's so close to me, but reluctantly as she never wears dresses now and is very self-conscious about her figure. She was definitely the right person for the job, but I did find myself wishing I'd found a different way round putting her in that role, so she helped with dress shopping and getting ready but didn't dress up and walk down the aisle. Mum was there on the day but lived too far away to be at dress fittings, and the other bridesmaids were a bit young. You've got lots of time to get to know some of the girls better, and I would say a year before the wedding is early enough to ask them, so you could get to know them first. You might prefer to organise your hen do yourself though if they won't have got to know you that well, or ask your auntie to organise it. I organised my own hen do in the end because my bridesmaids just didn't have the time. I was happier that way, if my MOH had organised it then it would have gone too far and not been something I would have liked.

Thank you for the replies,

I've been speaking to my partner about it since I've posted this topic and he thinks I should ask my auntie, like you said Elinor some older women aren't comfortable with their figure etc, my auntie is nearly 40 but she has a great figure and looks like 25 lol, I think I will ask her, as I have been bridesmaid for her twice its only fair I ask her :). It's gives me someone to fall back on I guess :)

Kirsty, I've seen that man of honour and bridesmen are becoming quite a popular thing, I definitely would like females, especially since I don't have any male friends either aha I'm a bit of a loner lmao

Although I'm having my brother as an Usher he will be sitting at the top table in place of the Maid of Honour :) x

I suppose if your aunty doesn't want to be bridesmaid then she would just tell you, but im sure shed still be there for you nyway by the sounds of it.

I don't really have friends (not that most people would recognise) but work are organising a hen party for me so I won't miss out. I'm also not having any bridesmaids but I am getting married abroad.

I love the idea of a different dress for her. Hopefully she feels comfortable with it or you can come to another agreement. x

UPDATE:

I've mentioned it to my mum, and she thinks it's a bad idea, that she's too old to be a bridesmaid
She's says to just let her enjoy the day with her husband and be guest.

I've already compromised for my mum already about the wedding about who will be walking me down the aisle, I worry that this will be another compromise and I'll regret it :/

I'm conflicted lol

Opinions? xoxo

Also just to add, my step mum was matron of honour for my auntie a couple of years ago, and she was over 40 then. It's not about age, it's about your relationship with that person and wanting to share your special day with them in a special way. She did feel slightly uncomfortable at times that she was an older MOH but she was thrilled to have been asked xx

Ellie your auntie would not look out of place as a bm, moh etc I would def ask her. Especially as you are feeling a bit uneasy about not having anyone close to you in your bridal party. Parents always have something to say but it's not their wedding. Maybe your mum feels a bit put out that you think so much of your auntie. xx

I agree, you should definitely ask your aunt and let her make up her own mind. And for the record...your aunt looks amazing! She'd not be out of place one bit!!