I'm currently planning my wedding for August this year. My mum and I have always had a slightly rocky relationship but my dad has recently got in touch to say he will not be coming to the wedding because he doesn't feel up to it. He has never been a well man, and he's very shy but needless to say I'm devasted that he feels unwilling to come. I've tried to make my feelings clear and find our why he is unwilling to come but get nothing in response.
Has anybody been in a similar situation where a parent/parents refuse to come to the wedding? If so how did you deal with it? Seating arrangements, photos, walking down the aisle etc. thank you in advance xx
CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
O no can't imagine how upsetting that must be for you! Could there be someone going that your dad doesn't want to be in same room as? Maybe sit down with just you and your dad and ask him outright and say how exactly you feel and meh might open up to you if you do it in person. If that doesn't work maybe speak to your mum and just see if she can explain it as its your special day and he should at least try and make the effort for you! Not like your going to do it again!
CommentAuthorStephH96
Good post MrsC
CommentAuthorStephH96
Rachel that does sound sad that your dad doesn't want to come. Does he have an actual illness where he can't be around lots of people? If so I could understand his comment about not feeling up to it, and you could work with his anxiety.
If not then it does sound like there is something he is not telling you so agree with mrsc that you need to talk and ask outright what the issue is, as you clearly do want him there.
CommentAuthorRachaelB7
Thank you for your advice. I've tried talking to him saying that we do not expect speeches etc and that all I would like is for him to walk me down the aisle. He's always been a shy man but I can't understand why he doesn't want to be a part of the day, even in a small way xx
Would he be prepared just to be in the congregation? Maybe another family member or close friend can walk you in. You can also walk in just with your bridesmaids.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Oh no, that's sad. Hopefully you can speak to him and find out why he feels so strongly but also let him know how important it is to you to have him there.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
could he come purely for the ceremony and not stay for the reception .... you could make him a hamper of goodies for him to enjoy while you have your food .
suggesting this as a compromise may make things easier for him , it must be horrible to feel that shy
