So my future mother in law has become a passive aggressive crazy person.
When my fiance and I first started talking weddings I said I would be happy to elope then have a big celebration in London when we got back but he was VERY against the idea and it was important to him to do a ship wedding, to celebrate his granddad's Navy history followed by a blessing in his Catholic church and a reception in London when we returned. Both are parents were happy with this but now his mother is becoming a nag.
For the wedding at sea we've chosen a cruise operator leaving from the US and due to the fact my future father in law and my H2B are photographers the quietest period is winter so that's what we've chosen but his mother keeps digging because she wants to go in the summer.
Now the theme is upsetting her. I let my H2B choose and its a Marvel Comic theme, we've worked hard to make it bridal or romantic but she isn't happy and keeps taking me to small wedding fairs at hotels and castles to try and persuade me to go against my H2B with a more English country theme and when she think's that's not working I get comments like this 'Look at this beautiful cake you could have had, BUT YOU LET HIM CHOOSE THAT AWFUL THEME', it goes on and on with horses and carriages that we don't want or limo's we don't want or decor we don't want e.t.c.
She's now insisting that I choose a bigger half eternity wedding band which wasn't something I wanted. My H2B is her first born so I understand her wanted to be involved. My H2B is having a hard time getting through to her especially as she keeps distracting him with food and I don't know how to handle the situation without causing a future rift.. Any suggestions?
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
I didn't want to read and run but have you spoken to your OH about your FMILs comments? I would sit her down and explain that you understand she wants you to have it a certain way but she needs to understand that this is YOUR wedding not hers and your tastes differ. If she wants to be involved in the process then she really needs to accept that.
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
CommentAuthorDeniseA23
Thanks Victoria,
I'll try, I just keep thinking if I say anything it's going to end badly and H2B doesn't feel the same anxiety I do but that could be because he hasn't seen the outbursts. Good luck with your big day, it's coming up fast :)
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
Awe Denise thank you :)
I've been lucky with my FMIL. She's great and I think she takes pity on me with the fact neither of my parents are in my life so always wants to make sure I am happy which always leaves me blown away when people say they're having issues with their FMIL. The best thing is to just talk it out with her and let her know you do very much want her involved but it has to be on your terms.
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
Yeah try to sit down with her and your OH and just explain what you would like. Ask for her opinion on things so she still feels valued and included but don't be afraid to tell her when it's to much or that she is making you feel uncomfortable- remember you are marrying her son, you will be family and family should be able to say when something bothering them.
CommentAuthorMichelleC961
i would suggest like the others that you sit down and explain that this is your theme and you are grateful for her suggestions but this is what you have decided on- say you still want ther to feel part of the day and maybe assign her a few tasks to do that you know she will do and she will hopefully be more on board :-)
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Sounds like she needs to learn to respect yours and her son's choice of wedding.
I'd suggest talking to your h2b and tell him how she's affecting you and what she is doing. Then both of you need to sit her down and tell her to stop trying to change things otherwise she risks not being included in the day.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
