Wedding Forum - Wedding abroad due to difficult family...

Hi all, fiancé & I have booked a local venue for our wedding but have now decided to go abroad with kids & get married instead. My question has anyone else done this & how did you approach the situation?

Little bit of background:

One mother is alcoholic. Does not comprehend impact she has on others.
One mother is rather moody/attention seeker/ thinks shes above other mother. Does not comprehend impact on others either.
Father is fully recovered alcoholic who basically hates all social gatherings. Cant really move for moody mother!

Moody mother wants her brother I've never had contact with & my sisters friends at wedding.
Grandparents will not attend wedding due to alcoholic mother (their daughter)
Fiances brother will not attend evening due to alcoholic mother. He has been asked to fulfil Father of Bride roll.

Fiance having 4 bridesmaids. Two are not friends & have been argueing via Facebook. One now not bridesmaid.
Moody mother wants my sister as bridesmaid. Sister blatantly dislikes other bridesmaids.

My bestmen "forgot" our very small (10 people) home engagement party.

I will not be having stag as bestmen do not want to have one. I don't have very large social circle so would have just been us 3.

Female friend of 16yrs now bestman.

Fiance will not be having hen night due to my sister & mother dislike her bridesmaids, mothers & two bridesmaids don't get along.

Most of the dislike between people has only surfaced since the engagement was announced. We will be losing a very large deposit if we go abroad, however going abroad ( with paid deposit) will still be cheaper than local wedding.

We plan on just going on holiday with kids, get married & announce it while away. We will not have party to celebrate as all these issue will still exist.

I know its a lot to consider so any advice would be great!

Thanks, I'm positive that going away is best thing to do. This will be our first holiday abroad together as couple & family so cant wait.

I think my fiancé will be an emotional/nervous wreck at home wedding as more difficulties keep popping up. I've read various posts on family sticking their noses in or folk not getting along, but we've got both!

We want to get married for us, for our children. Definitely think family & friends forget what the wedding is all about.

Its a real shame that the ones causing so much hassle are the ones that should be the most supportive. If we tell them we are going abroad to get married we wont hear the end of that either. All tears & snotters from the attention seekers!

They say its easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission, certainly hope so!

Oh dear Barry, that does sound complicated and I'm sorry your having to deal with this

If I were in your shoes, I would do exactly the same. Just go away, you your fiancé and your children, get married and deal with it when you get back. Once it's done no amount of b1tch1ng from the family can change things so they can either like it or lump it!

The main thing here is, it's urs and ur Fiancés decision and if your happy and your children are happy then that's what is important.

I hope you have the best day ever x

Perfect x

weddings really do bring out the worst in people, not spoken to my mil or sil at all since the weddings. it just turned them totally psycho!

Do exactly what YOU want to do. But make your minds up quick! i wish we had cancelled ours and just effed off to do it because of all the stress, but we kept trying to 'sort' it with family, in the end, although we had an amazing day and i didnt pay any mind to the presence i think i was more happy that it was finally over, than i was to be getting married.

some people can not see beyond the end of their own noses.

Thanks for the replies, was prob just looking for justification in going away from people not connected to me.

Sprucey its the people closest to us that cant get along, I think that's why we are planning on going abroad. If it was extended family or workmates we could have used the ole "small doo" excuse to not invite them.

Teresa I'm sure they'll not give us a second thought while we are on holiday, until we come home married!

Lala the card idea is awesome, think i'll be doing that! I do think they care but with their bloated sense of entitlement & insistence that they're always right they just cant see their making our lives hard!

Thanks again everyone, mind made up with conviction now! Abroad with those that REALLY matter to me!

Glad you have made a decision as you were stuck in a very difficult and complicated situation. :S

Great decision, you enjoy it, after all it's about you and your kids, everyone else can go *******

Love to you all, hope the stress is lifting :) xx

Sounds like you have made the right decision Barry.

The people around you clearly don't have your best interests at heart and it sounds like the two of you would just get very stressed having the wedding at home and would not enjoy it.

I wish you both the best for the future.

Good decision