when myself and oh first got engaged we asked my family who would like to be invited as they live 180 plus miles away so we would have an idea of venue size etc.
It was decided from the response we would book a package for 40 guests. I would invite cousins where the auntie/uncle couldn't attend plus the cousins that said they definitely wanted to come 3 in total plus husbands. This all fitted in very well with our budget. However my one Auntie who received her invite today has already moaned to my other Auntie that her sons have not received an invite.
Now this is why I'm mad, not once has she ever said in the last year and half that they wanted to be considered so now I look a cow by saying if they want to come they will have to pay for themselves, it also looks like I'm favouring some cousins over others as I have said I will pay for them and their partner(the ones we had included in our original plans)
I'm so annoyed and don't know what to do :(
CommentAuthorVelcro
just remind them this was unofficially organised over a year ago when you were booking your venue, if she didn't say anything at the time, then she can't say anything now
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I agree, just remind her and anyone who brings it up that this was all arranged beforehand and that you asked who would be interested... you've done far more than what most people would have done.
CommentAuthorMyranny
I don't suppose any of these conversations/informal agreements were made by text or email and you might have them to refer her back to?
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Yep,defo remind them that you did give the option a long time ago, can be done nicely, maybe she forgot about it.
If was good that you even asked because I quite possibly wouldn't have. Just remind them that you gave them the choice and it's their own doing if they didn't speak up. You dont know if they don't tell you! also mention that the ones you 'favour' are the ones who actually replied and wished to be included x
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
Thanks ladies, it made me feel awful. My mum hs spoken to my Auntie and she understands now that because they didnt say we can't pay for them. The truth is we probably could pay for them but it would take every last penny we have and cut back on little extras we thought we could have.
CommentAuthorFlossie
I'm glad she understands now, hopefully it'll blow over. People should appreciate weddings are very expensive - why should you have to re-evaluate your budget now so close to the day because someone didn't speak up in the first place? x
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
Yeah I know, that's why I did ask originally
CommentAuthorVelcro
glad this seems to have been resolved rather peacfully, so many times we read on here about family members blowing up and going mad ): Still not spoken to my MIL since our wedding (almost 6 mo ago) 'cause of all the drama she caused!
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
I hate drama I'm a people pleaser lol. Turns out my one aunt and my cousins 7 people in total can't attend so the other aunts kids I still call them kids even though there my age can come and I can pay!
CommentAuthorAprilS61
At least there's a solution! It's worked out fairly well considering.
Isn't it strange how when you plan a wedding you find yourself hearing 'they can't come to the wedding' and I'm like yesss! Aha I'd rather save money than invite someone else haha.
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Glad it has all been sorted and you can get on with the rest of your planning.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Glad this has now been sorted.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
Thanks everyone. I can see why people have fallings out within family's at timeslike this. Good job my family are really close and understanding of the reasons I gave.
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Glad it all worked out :)
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
<3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3