Hi everybody newly engaged NYE and new to this site need all your help and advise because I really am at breakpointing. Me and my h2b have been together for 8 years now I have dreamed about marriage since being a little girl and to have found my prince charming I couldn't be happier. My older sister and I haven't had the greatest relationship she is a very selfish person our relationship consists of her constantly using me to do things she needs, trying to dress me in awful clothes because she doesn't like anybody being skinnier or prettier than her. She has also stole my boyfriends in the past and has paraded round in next to nothing in front of them to get their attention. My h2b sees right through her and can't really stand her if it wasn't for my amazing nephew her son I probably wouldn't talk to her because she is so negative and never has a good word to say about anybody. She has a boyfriend who she has been with for 10 years their relationship is so rocky, he said straight to her he doesn't want to get married. Since she found out I was engaged she has been acting all happy but making comments like it's just a bit embarrassing for me my younger sister getting married and I never will. I don't really have many friends as they stopped hanging around with me due to me being unavailable because I started a relationship and they were all single, so I didn't really go out until about two years ago my sister asked me out with some of her work friends and I became close to one of her friends who was a similar age to me and was in a long term relationship as well, my h2b has become best mates with her boyfriend and is thinking about having him as best man. Anyway to cut a long story short my sister presumed she would be made of honour and I also ask our friend to be my bridesmaid, my wedding is not till next year as me and my h2b want to save and pay for it ourselves, I was discussing ideas and top table with my sister and said it might be best if our friend sits on the top table as her partner is best man and also I wanted our friend to stay with me the night before the wedding as we get a complimentary room, my sister has just lost it she hasn't spoke to me for a week now and this morning she has been txting me abuse saying I'm disloyal how I can even thinking about not inviting her the night before and not having her on the top table is disgusting and making me out to be a nasty horrible person and when I have said she is being unreasonable and dictating my wedding she is accusing me off trying to play the victim and act all innocent and that I would even be friends with the girl and her boyfriend if it wasn't for her. I have actually booked a joining room the night before so they both can stay as I did feel bad and I have decided to have just our parents on the top table to save arguments. I just feel so awful as its my wedding I should be happy but I'm miserable and hate feeling like a horrible person and feel really bad on my h2b for letting it spoil our excitement by mopping round getting upset all the time. Any ideas and advise would be brilliant even if it is to tell me I'm being unreasonable as I feel lost.
CommentAuthorFlossie
You are not being unreasonable at all. It is your day and you have every right to have it how you want it - and everyone should respect that, put their own feelings aside, just shut up and get on with it to ensure you have the perfect day!! Sorry your sister is making you feel this way, but you are not doing ANYTHING wrong.. she needs to realise this is not about her and is not her day. Just because she is your sister doesn't mean she has the divine right to automatically be your MOH, or to sit at the top table, or to stay over the night before with you. I know it must be horrible feeling upset and it's easier said than done to ignore it, but honestly, ignore it. xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
I'm going through something similar with my sister Maria. Like Flossie has said just ignore her. It will hurt her more being ignored than responding to anything she says. Remember it's YOUR day and not hers. I've said from day one I'm having parents and my son on table table and the bridesmaids will be on a different table with their partners. We're all here for you if ever you need someone to chat to **big hugs** xx
Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016
CommentAuthorMariaS116
Thanks ladies really appreciate the advice, I am definitely going to ignore her and try to not let her get to me. Just wanted to be sure it wasn't me being unreasonable and inconsiderate getting caught up planning my day. You have made me feel much better
Just ignore her and she'll realise she's being immature and unreasonable. Sounds like she's jealous that her boyfriend doesn't want to marry her too and is trying to over-involve herself into your wedding because of it x
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Ignore her. She's obviously jealous and isn't worth getting stressed over her.
She needs to learn the world doesn't revolve around her and maybe if she behaved more mature then she'd actually get more love her way.
Some people cannot accept that someone wants their wedding a particular way and tries to impose their ways on the bride and groom. I'd tell her to take a hike.
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorDanielleMystic
How childish! My younger brother was engaged before me and I couldn't have cared less lol he was happy and now I'm happy with my fiance. She needs to grow up - you might not have met your mutual friend the way you did if it wasn't for her, but that doesn't mean you wouldn't have met her at all! Very sad that she can't behave like an adult, especially when she has a child of her own.
*What hasn't killed me has made me stronger!*
*Saved by her knight this Queen won't let them win!*
Am blessed to be loved by you and your father
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
To be honest I think it sounds like you've already been more than accomodating for her by booking joining rooms after her big stress about not staying over the night before. Every decision about your wedding should be made by you and your h2b. Others may provide advice but you are not being unreasonable to politely decline their ideas. It is your choice who is in your bridal party and who sits at the top table. Don't let her take anymore fun out of planning and enjoying it all x
CommentAuthorElizabethF49
I'm just going to through my opinion out there,
My younger sister got engaged a month after us, (I've been with my oh for over 9 years now and they have only been together 3) before my oh proposed to me I did say to him if my little sister gets married before me I wouldn't be happy (not at my sister at oh) I know how shallow that sounds but it's how I felt. Once my sister got engagement I asked my oh if he only proposed because he knew my bil was going to propose to my sister (which he didn't) again this is a very shallow thought but at the time I couldn't help but think it.
My little sister and I are really close and she is having her best friend sign the register rather than me and yes it hurt a little but I didn't say anything to her at the end of the day it's her wedding. But if she was staying over the night before with her other bridesmaid and not me that would hurt me as it is we are both staying at her house the night before the wedding so we have the excitement of all getting ready together etc.
Basically all I'm saying is I can see it from both sides and although your sister is being childish I can understand to an extent where she is coming from but not to the extent it's stressing you out that's not fair. But that is not your fault.
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I can see that she is miffed, but she should be happy with being a bridesmaid. I didn't have either of my brothers on the top table, and didn't assume at either of their weddings that I would be. It makes sense for the best man to be on the top table to do his speech, and it's reasonable that his partner would sit with him. Neither of my brothers had the other brother as best man, both chose close friends, and they were fine with it. However if I did have a sister I think I would at least want to be involved in things the night before. I think it's good that you've compromised so that she can spend the evening with you.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorMariaS116
Thank you for all your feedback you really are lovely kind people and I wish you all the luck and happiness in the future. I took on board the comments and ignored her for a few days as I didn't want to argue and was upset and stressed out. She has come round and we have made up, now I can move forward to plan our wedding with my h2b . I do take on board I could be a little more understanding to my sister also I am going to give her the benefit of the doubt and include her more, if she does abuse this and try to take over I will then have to step in. She has gone through my magazines this weekend with our mum and pointed out dress styles that I can't go for as one day she might get married and this is what she wants to wear! Anyway the couple of days I spent ignoring her gave me time to think and realise what the most important thing is, I am marrying my soul mate, who is most amazing person I have ever met and we are so excited to be husband and wife. Bring on the 02nd June 2016 :-)
CommentAuthorFlossie
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
omg ...... someone needs to stop throwing toys out of the pram and GROW UP ..
I'm glad you've made up, but I'd put a stop to this whole ''you can't try that style on because I might want it'' business
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
I'm glad you have sorted this out. However in regards to the wedding dress. Where what YOU want!
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
CommentAuthorVelcro
glad it is sorted but omfg telling you what you can and can't wear hahahahah
simple solution there. Don't show her your dress when you do get it, she can see it on the day like everyone else
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorKirstyR386
Glad you're feeling better about it all.
But there is no way she can dictate what dress YOU have at YOUR wedding. X
CommentAuthorRebeccaH304
Glad you feel better about things. Totally agree with everyone else that she can't tell you what dress you can or cannot wear. That's totally out of order! You should pick the dress that you want to wear to your wedding and not be dictated to by her!
