I have chosen by twin sister as my chief bridesmaid but I'm really starting to regret asking her. I love her to bits but she is driving me mad :-( her and my h2b have had a fall out and things have been a bit tense to say the least. She's one of them people that thinks about herself and everyone else doesn't matter. It's a long story but to cut the story short she told me she was looking after my little boy when I said no as he's teething and really clingy she then text my h2b to ask y she couldn't have him. We explained why but this still wasn't good enough for her. She hasn't got kids herself so she doesn't understand how hard it is when babies are grumpy. I can't look forward to the wedding or plan anymore whilst this is hanging over us. I've asked her more than once to stop how she's being and to come and see her nephew but she's being stubborn and having none of it been though she's the one that's missing out on seeing him. At this minute I really don't want her at the wedding but I know that will cause arguments within the family I'm just sick of being stuck in the middle and not knowing what to do :-( h2b has had enough also. Sorry for the rant just needed to let it out x
Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016
CommentAuthorScottishbride2016
Really hope you manage to sort things with your sister . I am sure you will . Maybe she is a little jealous that your moving on with your life and it's not something you can do as a twin anymore . Sorry if I picked up wrong x
CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
No that's exactly right. She wants the married life and children but she knew her bf didn't want any of these things when they got together 4 years ago x
Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016
CommentAuthorScottishbride2016
Just didn't want seem as if putting my foot in . She will come round . Dont let it stop you planning and enjoying all the wedding stuff . She your twin I am sure deep down she knows she has hurt your feelings xx hugs
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
Is there anyone that could to talk her about her behaviour or attitude ? Like someone who I neutral ? Like Scottishbride says I'm sure she will come around in the end x
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
<3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
My mum has tried talking to her welshbridebethan but even she can't say anything to stop the way she is being. I want this to be a happy time that we can share together. I want to take her to look round shops to get bridesmaid dress ideas but can't do this with how she is being. So fed up with it all :-( x
Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016
CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
It is difficult as some people just don't see how they really are :( With her bf not wanting what she does maybe she thought he would change his mind ? Do you have any other bridesmaids? Only because if you go shopping with all your bridesmaids will she curve her behaviour or would it continue?
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
<3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
Yes I've got 2 more sisters that are twins also that are my bridesmaids. From day 1 her bf has always said he doesn't want any of it and never will so not sure if he will change his mind x
Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016
CommentAuthorAprilS61
I can't really advise much here I'm afraid, but even though her attitude is so off putting, maybe going bridesmaid dress shopping might change her outlook if she let's go a little. One of those things that could either help or make no difference though :/ I think the only thing you can really do is speak to her about how she's making you feel. Maybe something like how you understand her partner doesn't want the same things as you and your OH, so this could be a chance for her to enjoyit for the both of you and with her being an important part of your day. Xx
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorElizabethF49
It sounds like she was really looking forward to having her nephew and when that didn't happen she threw her dummy out the pram (Figure of speech) because she doesn't have kids she wont understand that your son wouldn't want to be away from you. I know its easier said than done but try not to let it come between you.
I would maybe set up a date to go Bm dress shopping and hopefully she will snap out of it x
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
You've got a while to the weekend yet so it might be worth waiting to see what happens. It must be hard for her if she sees you getting everything that she wants but can't have with her current bf. Not an excuse for how she behaves though. Maybe it would be helpful to spend some time with her discussing her situation and how she feels about it. I have a friend who has been with her bf for about ten years. I'm pretty sure she wants to marry and have children, but he doesn't want to marry her. Ultimately there's nothing anyone can do for them, she has to decide whether to leave him or accept things as they are. She's 33 and would make such a brilliant mum, but is running out of time.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i would invite her out to lunch then chat about random things ......once she is relaxed a bit just tell her that you are sorry if she felt hurt that she didn't have your son when suggested but tbh you didn't want her having to deal with him when he was grumpy with teething but PLEASE you you hang on to her offer for another time ,
some people if they dont have children don't realise how clingy a little one can be during that time.
I was going to say especially with the other bridesmaids maybe they could help contain her behaviour especially as they will be wanting to make sure you have a good shopping experience :)
Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
<3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
CommentAuthorNicoleC50
I completely understand this, my sister is 2 and a half years younger than me and can't deal with things not being about her! I it is so difficult to deal with her but I have less than 2 weeks to go and then I can put a bit of distance between us. We had a huge argument 6 months ago and I didn't want her at my wedding but this really upset my parents so I am being nice and trying to deal with it until the wedding is over. It also helps that my parents are aware of the situation as are my other bridesmaids and they do keep an eye on her and try and keep her under control! I will say though if your sister is anything like mine then talking to her yourself may only make things worse, I definately recommend a third party! I hope it all sorts itself out and remember that ultimately it is your day and you need to do what you want!!
CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
Thanks Nicole. Nothing anyone says is any good for her. Driving me mad :( h2b doesn't want her there and he also wants me to choose another chief bridesmaid x
Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016
CommentAuthorkittyh
I can see where you are coming from but the wedding is still a long while away and so much can happen between now and then...the last thing you want to do is uninvite her/demote her over an argument that will probably blow over especially as its your twin, i mean its not really over anything serious...
I think the others are right, just have a chat and explain the situation over your son somewhere neutral and maybe do something not wedding related...your wedding has probably raised issues with her own life and what she probably feels like she is missing out on. I know thats not your fault but I know what sisters are like. I have vowed never to speak to mine again a number of times over the years but I love her dearly really and couldn't be without her. Hoe you get it sorted. :)
CommentAuthorDonnaLou
Just be honest with her, might be hard but something has to be said. Tell her you really want her to part of your day but she's making things difficult with her behaviour. You don't want your wedding planning to be awkward and difficult you want to enjoy this time and you would like it love it if she could enjoy it with you. Ask her what it is that's making her feel or behave like this, even though you probably already know, ask her anyway. Let her know your concerned, that you love her dearly and just want to resolve the situation so you can all get on with plans/shopping and all enjoy it together. That's what I would do anyway, good luck. Hope things are sorted soon xXx
CommentAuthorMrsRobson2Be
I would say it's your h2b that's causing problems, telling you to sack her as CM over a small argument!! Is there more to this, has there been other arguments?? Because this seems to have been blown way out of proportion. Also with her partner saying he doesn't want kids/marriage I know alot of people that have said this but priorities change, my future SIL never wanted any of that but after being with her partner for 6 years she let slip the other day that they're trying to conceive, we were all so shocked!!
