Wedding Forum - Over sensitive?...

Anyone else feel the stress involved in the hen do and stag dos really isn't worth it in the grand scheme of things!?

Wish wasn't having one now. It's more stress than the wedding

I agree... my BMs initially insisted on planning all of it and keeping it a surprise. The date was chosen by one of my BMs because she had 4 other hens to attend this year and so far had nothing else to do that weekend (way to make me feel special!) and asked me to come up with a list of people I wanted to invite. I told 2 of them (OH's sisters) to invite the other girls we go on holiday with every year and then told the other 2 who to invite from the gym and provided contact details for another girl I wanted to invite. I was chatting to one of the BMs and we just happened to be talking about C3ntr3 P*rcs and she asked out having the hen there and I agreed it would be fun. Then last night I went to a formal dinner and the seating plan was OH's sisters, him, me and then I was next to a stranger (who thankfully was absolutely lovely and easy to talk to and of course there were others on the table as well) and after all the gifts were handed out and presentations/speeches were done OH turned to me and said 'right, first thing tomorrow you NEED to finally let my sisters know exactly who you want to invite because they haven't got a clue and its not fair on them if you drag your heels then end up not enjoying the weekend'! I was completely gobsmacked. I said I had already told them who to invite and had told the others who else to invite but if his sisters also want names of those invited then that's fine, at which point both his sisters turned around and said they didn't need me to do anything, they just need to know who has said they're able to come but I wouldn't know that and its them who need to contact the other BMs. I thought that was the end of it until I they then started asking what I'd like to do. I had said to them from the start that I don't mind what we do so long as there's something for everyone so we can all enjoy ourselves (which is why CP seemed appealing) for instance I absolutely love working out whereas at least one of the girls considers it to be her worst nightmare, so I would like to be able to exercise knowing she's nearby doing something she enjoys (getting drunk, chain smoking and eating cheesecake all at once knowing her). But apparently wanting everyone else to also have fun isn't good enough as they think the whole weekend should be about what I like/want and won't accept that catering for everyone is what I truly want. They then walked off saying I was no help at all so theyll just have to book a cottage somewhere and arrange a burlesque class or something... which again I would enjoy but not sure about a couple of the others.

Well I'm glad it's not just me. In jan we arranged the lion king at theatre in London (need child friendly because my cousins are coming with theirs from aus) the dinner, then drinks, book hotel room and do London things the next day.

I told them costs involved etc it was all fine, I booked mine and my cousins and my mums, left everyone else to book their own telling them the cost would go up nearer the time.

It was £49 for a twin room then and now it's £61

My "friends" didn't book the and now they are saying they will get the train and do the one day and still want to do drinks but go home at 11 as that's the last train. Fine but that means I need to get back to the hotel by myself as I'm the only one going back as the other hve kids so won't be ot late. They think I'm being unreasonable as I have now said I may not do the drinks as I'm not hanging about London by myself at night.

Last weekend was my fiancés stag do and his friends a,de hi, do two nights saying they would pay for the second night, when it came to checking out they all left. So we are £300 down

It doesn't seems worth it anymore?

It was a golf/hotel/spa place and Matt was told they would pay for his 2nd nights stay. They paid for their own and left one mate stayed and aid he would get the money from everyone else and give it to him at the wedding. My fiancé is too soft and I said to him that doesn't really help us much when all our expenses have to be paid before the wedding!

So sorry technically £150 down but more when you add it up because he only booked one night so it was twice the expense

I had this also! Originally I was going to do a spa weekend but then everyone was like too expensive can't get childcare etc etc !! So in the end I'm just going to go out for a meal. My sister said as my birthday present she us going to get me a spa weekend that we can do before the wedding and a couple of my closest friends will come to that sometimes people are so ignorant!!

It's sad when we have to dread our own party lol!

I'm not that fussed on the drinks it's my friends who are tbh!

I think it's just hard trying to please everyone. Hope you have affable time Rachel :)

oh wow really hope when it comes to mine I'm one of the lucky ones and my girls pull through :/
It's sad when you think you've chosen these girls/women to fill that role because they're important to you and yet they can't do one simple task for you :( xx

A friend of mine got married last year and we went on a party bus weekend - which was great IMO but some of the girls didn't really get on that great and there were parts of the weekend that were filled with atmosphere and upset. I felt so sorry for the B2B. I spoke to her the other night about idea's for my hen night and her words were, with hindsight, I wished I'd just arranged for the girls to come round to my house, bring a bottle and some BBQ stuff - less hassle and a whole lot cheaper. I really think that's what I'll end up doing, or just a night out locally. It should be an enjoyable time with you are your mates xx