Wedding Forum - What to do? What to do? Bit of a rant....

So my Mother-in-Law is a bit tricky normally and planning this wedding has not brought out the best in her. From what I can tell she is in full belief that I am not good enough for her son. That I am only marrying him for their money(as if). N my other half has been round at her house yesterday and today making a few bits for the wedding while I am working which has given her more time to complain about everything, we have hand made all of the flowers out of felt it has taken me and my mum for far 6 months to make them all for N's mother to say she still doesn't see why we can't use real ones.

There then are the comments about how her first marriage failed as did both her brothers, how the music should be tasteful and nothing that odd, I have a more open idea on music. We had to invite her cousins family as she was told to look after them as their mum died(which is terrible but being told you have to look after someone I think entails more than demanding they be invited to a wedding where they have never met the bride.)

Then the comments about how we don't include her in the wedding planning as if she allowed her daughters in-laws anything to do with the wedding.

I am just slowly starting to lose my mind with it all, the arguments it is causing between myself and N, myself and my mum, and finally the tension about N bringing up anything she says. The second I hear the words "my mum had a suggestion" I go straight on the defensive and refuse to budge even a little bit. Its getting to the point that I panic about N coming home from his parents house in case she has suggested anything else and we will argue about it as to him they seem like good ideas and some of them may be but I am past the point of listening to anything.

I'm the same with mine, but oh know what she's like and we are very different couple to them. Also luckily his sister is fan, and she often pipes in , its there day mum, its up to them.

i go one better ...... my MIL wont speak to me = nom arguements !!!!!

I know my in-laws don't particularly like me and would me much happier if Ross jsut saw sense and found a girl that they thought was more suitable so i have involved them where i can. My fmil has seen a picture of my dress and the bridesmaids dresses, the flowers, the cake and we winvited them to go for a show around at our venue. I am doing everything to make sure they cannot say that they were not involved. The way I am trying to look at it is that my parents are seeing everything that is going on with the wedding and this is their sons big day too so yes they hae the right to give their thoughts and opinions just as much as my parents do. However ultimately the final choice in any sistautaion regarding the weddign comes down to me and ross and nobody else. I am more than happy to tell them that. This is why we turned down my in laws offer to pay for half of the wedding costs...i don't want to give anybody a chance to say well we paid for xxx so you need to invite xxx or you need to have that colour as we dont like the one you like. In laws will cause trouble sat some point but remember the in laws are also your parents for him and so all parents = trouble and frustration when planning a wedding. His parents ahave as much of a right to be involved as yours do i am afraid xx

There are so many mother in laws that sadly behave like this. It makes them look like they don't like you, but really, all that venom is just jealousy. I've been very lucky, but it is very common indeed.

i'm always surprised by how many mother's think they are going to 'lose their sons' - don't be a horrid old witch and it won't happen! my OH always tells me he is a much better son since we have been together and i have a very good relationship with his mum, and its not always easy but if you can make it work for everyone as long as there is mutual respect! xx