I'm soooo annoyed! We have a rule of no strangers at the wedding and this includes distant family, our view is that if they were important to us we'd have seen them in the last 7 years. So h2b's parents come round tonight and say they bumped into h2b's dad's 2 brothers (actually his uncles but he was brought us by his gran so thought they were brothers for a long time). So I've never met them ever in the last 7 years but apparently they asked about the wedding!! Cheeky f*ckers! So then FMIL is all 'well si's dad doesn't have any family coming to the wedding'. That's cos I've never fecking met any of them!!! She said this is a great time to meet them! Erm no! I do not want to have strangers at my bloody wedding!! We've ended up saying they can come to the evening do which just winds me up cos it means we have to bump friends that we do know for strangers I don't! So 2 'brothers' and their wives and a 'sister'.
5 less friends coming! So wound up
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
How does your h2b feel? Does he know them?
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorSonya
He's met them before but hasn't seen them for about 15 years even they live not far from us.
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorBecky1608
Oh dear that's not good. Did your H2B want them there? I think I'd have put my foot down and said no! Xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorSonya
edited
He's never even mentioned them before, I didn't know until yesterday that they even existed
It was just one thing that was important to us, no strangers at the wedding, we both saw the wedding as a day to celebrate with people that mean something to us and that are a part of our lives. 5 people I didn't know existed, who I've never met and who h2b hasn't seen in 15 years don't fit that category
Our numbers are really tight as it is so now we have to bump friends
I guess it would be different if the parents were funding the wedding
I wouldn't let them come! Don't bump friends for them, stick to your guns have the no stranger wedding that you want.
CommentAuthorJR2015
edited
If it was me I wouldnt invite them personally
Me and h2b have already decided that we arent inviting family that we have nothing to do with - they can have an invite for the evening but that's it, we have a package with our venue so can only invite a certain number of people to the wedding breakfast and there are lots of people we would rather have there instead.
WHen I got married for the first time (which was years ago and I was very young at the time!!) my parents paid for the reception and as a result I ended up inviting around 8 of their friends to the day and although I knew them, it wasnt my choice to invite them. So this time around I am standing firm and if they want to come to the evening they can, but they wont be invited to the day.
I know its harsh but its your wedding, not your in-laws. Just put your foot down and be firm with them.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
It's hard with family. We had the same issue with one of my cousins who my sister and I cannot stand to even look at her.
If your hubby isn't happy about having them there and wants to take the grief from the family to refuse an invite then that should be between him and his family, if someone has to be bumped then bump from his side. Every family is different so it's hard to say stand your ground if it's going to cause a battle to break out.
Is it because there is limited space in the venue or can extra places be accommodated if say his parents paid for the extra places?
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Sod them. If they haven't made any effort to meet you or see him in the last 15 years; they are not worth it. Why should you bump your friends off the list for people you don't even know...
Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
CommentAuthorSonya
Well we've backed down and said they can come to the evening
Tbh it's not just the cost, it's the whole thing about having people there I don't know. I've said I'm not being rude but I'm not spending half the evening getting to know these strangers, I will say hello and be polite but that's about it. I intend to spend time with people that mean something and who I want to share my wedding with.
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorElizabethF49
You never know they might decline the invite, I think it's rude of anyone to expect an invite especially if they don't know the bride or groom. I haven't met one of ohs uncles and I really wouldn't mind if he wasn't there. It Alan wants him there he talks to him a lot we just don't see him often.
After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
Our son is 5 years old and our world
Getting married 15.08.15.
Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
CommentAuthorSonya
Be my luck that they will then just not turn up on the night!!
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorAmyH608
I feel for you, we have had the same problem!! Like you we wanted no strangers at the wedding but we have also had to back down just to keep the peace!! i've had to look at it in a whole new light and just say oh well by the evening i wont care whos there and whos not!! Hope it all goes well xx
CommentAuthorChristinaB38
i'm having a similar rule - anyone who hasn't bothered to make any contact or effort with us over the past year is not invited, as clearly we are not close so why should they come (or want to come). I want to spend the day with people i know and love.
CommentAuthorLauraK7
I wouldn't have backed down would have told them to uninvite them as numbers were limited
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I would not invite them over friend who mean something to you. Im not inviting 2 of my xousins as they never make a effort. And everyone who is coming I have met atleast twice. Only ones my oh has not met is my 3 cousins and uncle as they live in oz, which may or may not be able to come , but its understandable .
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I'm not having uncles and aunties on my mums side because I don't see them. They will have evening invites tho if they decide to come. Mum moaned a bit saying that there would be no one she knew there but when I explained that once the service was done and wed had photos (which she will be in a lot of anyway) then she'll be on the top table for the meal...when would she realistically get chance to speak to them in the day? Then once the speeches over, the evening will be starting anyway,and they'll all be arriving x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
