Hi Everyone, I could really use some peoples help here.
We booked our wedding for October this week and things are falling apart and not sure I even want this wedding now. My maid of Honour is no longer a part of my day due to a stupid fall out which hasn't been resolved and now my own Father is telling me that he isn't able to keep his emotions in check with my mothers family so he isn't bothering to come either. I've never had the best relationship with my biologiolcal father but I wanted him at my wedding, because of this now none of my fathers famuily are coming. Now I feel completely lost, its like nobody cares and I feel like this one day has ruined everything, I love my partner with all my heart but now I just want to cancel everything and start from scratch, Id love to go abroad but he's refusing to compromise at all and says all his family must be there despite the fact that I only have 8 family members now coming which breaks my heart. We have tried talking but we just end of arguing which is making me question our entire relationship. Everything just feels such a mess and I just don't know what to do.
Anyone ever had this feeling or doubts???
CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
Oh hun i do feel for you, it must be so disappointing to find out that so many of your family wont come just because your father wont.
Try not to argue with your oh, even though you must be frustrated. You should try and focus on what the day is about not who isn't attending. I have a big family but oh doesn't, he only will have his mums side of the family at our wedding(6 people in total) as his dads family wont come, but like he said he isnt marrying anyone other than me so why should it matter to him.
CommentAuthorSusie
If it is any help doll, Dave's family who are coming for our wedding in 11weeks...40 people... my family who are coming? Only my mum and dad have shown any inclination.
Am I worried or fretting? Nope. Because as my hubby to be reminds me, those who can be grown up and want to be there with you on that day, will move heaven and earth to do so. Those who create havoc and fuss, are not worth your concern, and you should just get on with planning a wonderful day between you and your man, (with no seating plan for the ceremony, which is how we are dealing with my sparce side haha)
All that matters at the end of the day is you and him. If he wants his family there and they will come, then wonderful, you are marrying into a lovely and supportive family. If yours create problems rather than try to be grown up and solve them, they are not worth the heartache nor headaches. xxx
CommentAuthorMrsH
Unfortunately my dad passed away 9 years ago, and I didn't have ny of his side of the family there as we don't speak, the OH kept telling me how important it was to have them there because my dad wasn't there but at the end of the day, i don't speak to them any other time of the year and haven't in a long time and therefore didn't want them there. instead I filled their places with some of my friends that wouldn't have been able to come, and I was able to extend my mum's side of the family's to include her aunties and uncles that i've known since I was born, so it's not all bad. Is this something you could do?
Since your H2B has got a big family compared to you, he doesn't quite understand what you are going through, but that doesn't make it his fault. Why don't you just take a few weeks off the planning and just forget about it for a bit, it will make you and your partner relax a little bit and you might be able to talk a bit better, maybe take him into a travel agents and have a look together about getting married abroad and suggest that you could always have a big party when you get back. Then after that if you still feel like you can't go ahead with it in October, there's no harm in postponing it.
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
no wedding is worth falling out with your H2B over. take a break from organising - both of you compromise. to be honest i would refuse if my H2B wanted to get married abroad without all my family. family is one of the most important parts of the day to me. take a break from planning and sit down and have a chat about it x
I agree with Becky - take a break from the organising and stress of it all. Still plenty of time to organise even if you go ahead in October. Must be hard for you - we're not having much family there either to be honest (either of us!) I will have my Mum, my sister and my auntie and uncle (uncle is giving me away as my dad passed away in 2010) My H2B is having his Mum, his brother and possibly his auntie and uncle. The rest is friends really - but they're the people that matter to us, most of the family don't bother any other time of the year so why should we spend a fortune catering for them!!
CommentAuthorclairenina
I am in a very similar situation with my family. After a long hard think, I decided not to invite my Dad, as much as it pains me, but our day will go ahead and it will be good. I have hardly any family coming to my wedding, but decided to mostly invite friends, and people who don't cause the heartache
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
It must be really painful, but you can't expect your H2B to cut his family attendance down if they mean a lot to him. Think instead about the people who really mean the most to you, and use them to fill the gap left by your father's family. Is there a brother or an uncle on your mum's side who can walk you in? Remember that H2B's family are now your family too, use them for support.
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
