I want some advice on an idea I had for the wedding.
I don't like talking publicly so was thinking about putting together two presentations, one will play when my brother and his friend is singing from heaven (mariayah Carey and boys2men) It will rotate pictures of my uncle, nan and god mother who where all a massive part of my life.
The second which is a big reveal. To sum it up I had an accident 10 years ago which for the last 9 years doctors have been unable to fix. I suffered from damage to my nerves, damage to the muscles that control my neck and back. Then also my body suffers from spasms. Which to sum that up is my body suffocating its self.
Hubby pushed me last year to go back and push them again, to which the doctor basically told him I was dying and there is nothing they can do.
I started my new job in Oct and told the Occ health about my problems (I have to let them know my problems in case I have an incident at work) we'll the sent my over to a physio which I have now been seeing for 3.5 months. Last week we did a progress report and my muscles are beginning to reverse back to normal, he is sure that with another 2 months of treatment I can be 100% free of my issues and fixed.
No-one knows not even hubby, I have held the physio to secrecy. I wanted to reveal my big secret as my wedding toast in a presentation of my journey.
Do you think my ideas are too doom and gloom for a wedding?
Counting down the days till I'm his wife
August 15th 2014
CommentAuthorMarrying.Ryan
I teared up just reading this. I think it's a lovely idea. I am sure it will be the best present to give your OH :) BTW We're wedding day buddies woopwoop
CommentAuthorKaihW (MrsUrsan2B)
I'm know he we'll be happy as well as my family as it's been a losing battle for so long. I just wasn't sure if I should talk about it at the wedding...
I went to a wedding fare yesterday and got some great deals @ M.R lol just spent another £600 on chair covers and wedding transport
Counting down the days till I'm his wife
August 15th 2014
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I'm going to be honest: I'm not sure how I feel about this.
I think the rotating pictures could be sweet provided it isn't too overdone; I also think you should probably run it by other family members (eg your god mother's partner, if she has one, your parents, your uncle's wife/children if applicable, etc). Reason being I think it could be quite upsetting, and that you should have their blessing.
Then the whole reveal thing makes me uncomfortable; mainly because I find it really weird that you haven't shared such major information with people close to you. If I were your OH or parents, or your close friend, I would find it really odd that you had decided to keep something so important from me, and were basically lying to me; I would find it quite deceitful, and upsetting, and it isn't something I would appreciate you having kept from me for some months. I might have got the wrong end of the stick but yeah; from what you've said it doesn't really sit well with me.
CommentAuthorKaihW (MrsUrsan2B)
Hi barbie,
Yeah I get your point. I just thought I would be a nice present/ surprise for everyone. But hadn't thought about it like that.
Thanks
Counting down the days till I'm his wife
August 15th 2014
I would deffo let your husband in on the health thing, otherwise he may feel betrayed and like you've hidden things,and may feel stupid infront of his family when they all think oh my god she didn't even tell her husband! Or your mum for that , they all must feel awful thinking they'll lose you wouldn't you want to put there minds at ease and enjoy your day knowing you really are going to grow old together and you can finally have that happiness?
If it were my husband and he kept that from me I would be pretty miffed and wonder what else he was capable of keeping from me by no way would I be happy for it to be announced on our wedding day but each to there own.
Good luck whatever you choose to do x
CommentAuthorShowgirl
I like the idea of the big reveal but I would probably tell OH and parents and swear them to secrecy so its more of a reveal to the other guests. Congratulations by the way, it must have been a massive struggle to get to this point. I am assuming that the pictures of the people who were a big part of your life are no longer here. Its nice to remember them but I have read in other forums from a number of people saying that when photos of people who aren't with us anymore are shown/displayed prominently around the venue it has lead to a big downer being put on the day. I'm not saying its a bad idea to do it altogether but I'd recommend using pics from happy times with you/OH in with them and possibly also pics that include other people too so its more like telling the story of your lives and honouring those who played a big part in the journey so far without focusing too much on certain people.
CommentAuthorKaihW (MrsUrsan2B)
No your right I hadn't thought about like that at all. I think I'm going to loose the reveal and just tell them when I get the all clear in June.
Hubby and family know I'm getting better just not that I will get the all clear.
I thought it might have been nice to surprise them with the news but see now that i was wrong. Which as I said I wasn't sure if it was right....that's why I wanted some feedback.
X
Counting down the days till I'm his wife
August 15th 2014
CommentAuthorKaihW (MrsUrsan2B)
I got a private message about incorporating the Remembrance into a toast which I love, to all the loved ones who are unable to be here. So may do this instead as I am going to be crying enough on the day already.
My hubby cannot keep a secret lol anything which I tell him he tells everyone lol. So that's really not an option lol
It was just an idea :)
Counting down the days till I'm his wife
August 15th 2014
CommentAuthorBethanyS
I think personally I would tell you husband in private. I think it would mean more to him if you told him first then telling everyone all together, though the idea is lovely. I know I would tell my H2B something like that straight away. x
CommentAuthorKaihW (MrsUrsan2B)
I'm going to force him to listen later, he told me not to tell him last time due to the numerous time we been told it could be fixed and each time turned out to be a lie.
But yeah I'm going to tell everyone, that idea is officially out.
Counting down the days till I'm his wife
August 15th 2014
CommentAuthorBethanyS
Don't get me wrong, I think its a lovely idea but I think its something that you wont be able to hold in for 6 months. x
CommentAuthorKaihW (MrsUrsan2B)
It's funny you say that, I don't mean this is a bad way when I say this. But no one ever asks me about it at all. Because it's an internally problem and unless I have a bad episode you couldn't tell unless I told you people forget.
So I know I wouldn't have an issue holding it in as wouldn't want to say it's fixed till I have my scan in June to confirm everything is 100%.
But I am going to tell hubs and mum that it could be more than just better can be fixed.
Counting down the days till I'm his wife
August 15th 2014
CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
First of all congratulations :) I can't even start to understand how it must feel to be in your position and getting the all clear.
When I read the first post in this thread I thought the same as everyone else that you should tell your H2B as soon as possible as I can't imagine how he must feel thinking he could lose you anytime. Now I have read your other posts on this I realise you havent lied or really kept it from your H2B. He knows you are getting better and you are waiting to get the all clear before telling him or anyone else. I think the reveal would be beautiful as you said your H2B doesnt want to know until you have actually been given the all clear. As long as your H2B and family know you are getting better then they wont feel that you have kept anything from them :)
“Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
-Ambrose Bierce
CommentAuthorKaihW (MrsUrsan2B)
I feel bad keeping the all clear from my family, but after so many years of having hopes dashed I can't put them through that agin till the confirmation is there.
Plus that's how my uncle died, we got told his cancer was gone then 12 months later he died because it had spread to all of his organs. So I'm just trying to be careful as I know this situation far too we'll.
Not purposely trying to hide it from them :(
Counting down the days till I'm his wife
August 15th 2014
CommentAuthorVelcro
Tell them in private when you get the all clear and then announce it to everyone else on your wedding day. From what you say it seems like you will only get a 'we've heard this before' kinda reaction..... So as soon as you get that all clear, let your nearest know :)
Agree with showgirl re the pictures idea :)
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
im not sure i would make an announcement like this (tbh i thought you were going to announce you were expecting! ) i know this is huge and exciting news for you but i think its better said to your family away from the wedding .. maybe tell your hubby as a wedding pressie the night before
with the pictures thing why not incorporate pictures of you and hubby as you were growing up as i think 3 pictures playing over and over for the duration of a song may feel a be tedious to guests
Thanks to Barbie for putting into words what I was feeling about this, But could not think of how to put it, I try to be truthful and helpful and I live by the words from Bambi "if you can't say anything nice , don't say anything at all"
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorKaihW (MrsUrsan2B)
Hi lala, don't know if you saw my previous post I have dropped the pictures I'm going to toast to them. Got a pm from follow B2B who is in same predict and is doing this to toast her father who passed.
Lana...all advice is good advice.
Told hubby when I got home and he said we will wait till June for results lol
Like I said I saw it from my point of view of giving good news,and really appreciate you showing me what others could feel. I'm a big girl and can admit when I'm wrong :)
Counting down the days till I'm his wife
August 15th 2014
