Ok so i chose the colour theme for our wedding many months ago and the bridesmaids dresses are sorted int hat colour. now my MIL to be has decided that she wants to have her outfit the same colour as my bridesmaids. I havent really warmed to the idea and dont really want her to be in the same colour. i know ive got ages to go yet but how can i tell her i dont want her to match the bridesmaids without upsetting her?? Or am i just being too fussy??
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
depends what the dress looks like and whether it is exactly the same colour. if it is a similar cut and style to BM's then she might look like a bridesmaid. i dont think it would matter too much if it was a different shade. you could offer to go shopping with her and if she picks up something like BM's dresses then just so thats too similar to BMs. if you really dont want her to wear same colour then get your H2B to tell her lol xx
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
i dont think it should matter too much hun, she wont get the same shade of your colour, what would the chances be? Also she has 2 yrs to change her mind (which she will do if she is anything like my MIL2b!) xx
CommentAuthorkatielea100
No I don't think your being fussy, I won't be having my mum or mil to be in wearing my theme colour I'd be going mental lol x
CommentAuthorAna40
Well, I wouldn't want anything being too similar as I would like the bridesmaids to feel special. But a little similarity wouldn't bother me too much. X
I thought it was etiquette not to wear the colours of the bridal party!!!
I'm going to a wedding over Christmas so wanted to wear a red dress, red is the colour scheme so I wouldn't dare!x
CommentAuthorbarbie86
Nope, not fussy.
I was pretty blunt with mine: I said that I was vetoing (sp!) emerald green, ivory/white/cream/similar, and silver, as these are the colours of me, my bridesmaids and my mum; I said I felt that it would be totally inappropriate for her to wear those colours for that reason.
However, I suspect she's planning on turning up in white, so...
I'd just be honest and say you don't think it would be appropriate for her to wear the bridal party colours and that you would like the MOG and MOB to stand out rather than blend in; if your OH backs you up, all the better.
CommentAuthorFernP61
No I think if it's a slightly different shade and cut? Why don't you offer to go with her so you could gently lead her to choosing an outfit you both like you never know she may find another colour? What's your colour? Xx
CommentAuthorsarah
Another bride had a similar issue recently. I've bumped her thread for you: "Colour theme..To argue or not to argue!"
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
I think your mum should have priority on colours... But I don't think she'll look like a bridesmaid though!
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
I think it is up to her but just encourage her to pick something different.
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CommentAuthorKirstenD30
My BM's are going to be in royal blue and my mum said she wanted to be the same colour as the BM's. I told her no way! So we've agreed that she can wear a lighter shade of blue to tie in. Just try and comprise if she's not willing then tell her no, it's your day after all x
CommentAuthorLauraM9144
this ones defo a matter of opinion my mum is giving me a way so she is officially part of the bridal party and she is wearing similar colours to the bridesmaids . my mil2b asked what colour she should wear and it suddenly dawned on me why would she be any less important than my mum on the day as she is the grooms mum? so i told her she is welcome to wear any colour and id be more than happy with her tying in with the bridal party after all without her i wouldnt have my h2b! anyway she has changed her mind on outfits so many times now i have no idea what colour she will end up wearing but whatever she decides she will be as much apart of OUR day as my mum. think in the beginning i thought of it as my wedding and nearly forgot that the grooms family are equally as important. that and the fact she is a legend and i love her too bits no one could have done more for me during the planning . most people are shwing more interest now its so close and they are thinking about their hair and their make-up but from day one mil2b as talked,helped,complimented and genuinely been enthusistic about the wedding . as long as she feels glamorous and important she can wear exactly what she likes :)
One BIG day will lead to lots of little happy days !!
CommentAuthorStephHsoon2bBodkin
I dont see the issue, I would think its an honour that she wants to wear the color, means she likes it. I would n't be offended if my mum wore our colours. When it comes to white or ivory i would say no mum, but any other colour is fine. It is your day so its up to you how you feel x
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CommentAuthorAmyH608
RachelW54 - i would be exactly the same!! My mum is wearing a different colour to the bridesmaids but she is having a colour to tie in with the colour scheme. I would be really annoyed with my MIL if she tried to match, at the end of the day even though she is the grooms mum she isnt part of the bridal party, my mum will be walking my flower girls and page boy down the ailse as a way of her feeling involved.
Maybe i have a different opinion to some people but i dont you are being fussy at all. It would really upset me. My MIL also wants my H2B's niece and nephews to be colour co-ordinated to my flower girls/pageboys......NOT happening. If i wanted them to be in the same colour they would be pageboys/flowergirl!! So annoying lol xx
CommentAuthorkatielea100
I don't like my MIL and wouldn't even have her there if it wash choice (she started ignoring my daughter when my son was born because she 'doesnt like girls') not a chance she'd be wearing my colours lol
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
Our colours are navy and my mums wearing jadey/electric/ peacock blue
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorLauraM9144
amyH do you have any tips on making the mother in law feel involved?
One BIG day will lead to lots of little happy days !!
CommentAuthorAmyH608
Hi LauraM9144 - i havent yet thought of anything concrete, although i am thinking of asking her to maybe give out the cake with the help of H2B's niece and nephews, that way they have something to do on the day. It might sound really mean (even though i do have a fairly good relationship to my 'in laws') but i feel its more of the bride/groom and brides family's day.
Another thing is she is paying for our cake, car and organising a coach for the day guests so i think this helps her to feel involved? If you have any tips please share? :) i dont want to be mean and not have doing anything! I propbably take this view on because she can be really really interfering!! lol!!
xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
As long as she is in a different shade and style or cut it should be fine hun. I wouldn't be happy though if it was a matching dress. Your bridesmaids will stand out though with their dresses and hair and makeup, everyone will know who the bridesmaids are.
xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorLauraM9144
no amy i was relying on you to come up with something lol. i have aid for mil to come too my room and have her hair and make-up done on the morning and i know she will be a huge help keeping my 3 little ones happy!. and i'm thinnking of asking her to be the one to make sure everyone arrives happily to the reception as i will be off with photographer , shes very good at organising. my h2b is the first of her children to get married her daughter is getting married in december but in vegas so mil cant go :/ so really want her to feel integral to our day as she is too our lives ! she really is an amazing woman and has taken me on as hers .
One BIG day will lead to lots of little happy days !!
CommentAuthorclairenina
I wouldn't worry. I don't think your MIL's outfit will resemble a bridesmaids dress, and I don't think people will visually make the link between the 2. You may have lots of guests wearing the same colours as your Bridesmaids, but none of them will stand out like they will xx
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I thought it was tradition for the mother of bride and mother of groom to try and blend in with the wedding colours as they are part of the bridal party x
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CommentAuthorAmyH608
Laura - i think what you are asking her to do is brill!! :) its really difficult knowing what they can and cant do to help :-/ i like your idea of having her over to get her hair etc done! I would ask mine but i dont think she would anyway!! Its lovely that she has taken you on as her own though :) mine has 2 daughters of her own anyway so im just like a little add on lol!! This is her only son getting married so like you think its important to have her do something!! xx
CommentAuthorJosephJ
I don't think I'd be too bothered. I would take it as a compliment that she wanted to wear she same kind of colour. albeit not the same shade or cut. I actually think it'll look quite good :)
CommentAuthorgonzo
I agree with kelbel i also thought that! x
CommentAuthorbeximo86
I wouldn't be too bothered about a similar colour in a different cut/style, but if the BM dresses were similar in style I'd be a little annoyed.
As for those looking at ways to include the MiL, mine is very much trying to get involved with things as I'm not only marrying her baby boy but also it's the only wedding she has been able to really get involved with - the eldest son had a small low-key ceremony and the middle son went abroad to get married and though she went, there was little involvement with the planning. I've taken steps along the way with things we've done to make her feel involved, so shown her the cars, asked about her thoughts on cake tastes and decorations. I'm also getting the MiL and SiL's together with my bridesmaids to help plan/make invites etc, and thinking of ideas for centrepieces etc x
