I'm feeling a bit blah at the moment... When we do the typical 'what if...' conversations about getting money in various day dream ways etc, H2B always goes on about fishing stuff, building a koi pond etc... But all I think is money for the wedding or extension or babies...... Makes me feel a bit daft dreaming of this fictitious money for realistic things when he thinks of things he specifically wants..
His dad usually gives us money for Xmas, £500 last year, £1000 year before, and I feel guilty that I've said about putting some away for the wedding if he gives us some this year as I don't think he's actually going to give money specifically for the wedding.. If its £500, then £300 for wedding and £100 each.. If its £1000 then £600 for wedding and £200 each.. Really I'd like to put all of it away but I know H2B wouldn't agree to it.. And with whatever money I get for myself then all I can think of buying is my little bits and bobs for the wedding, like my dressing gown, slippers etc.... But he'll buy fishing gear or a new aerial for his lorry TV... I know he doesn't need little bits and bobs, but my thing is, am I making myself look too eager by wanting to get my wedding stuff with any money I get or is it perfectly normal to be thinking this way ? Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorValentinaK
Hmmm we talk about ours for wedfing and babies... and a new mountain bike for him later to replace his stolen one! To be fair theres nothing , major I want right now!
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
edited
I suppose he wouldn't think to buy the little things I am anyway.. But I do wish he'd like to spend our fictitious money on realistic things lol..
We are saving the same amount each a month toward the big wedding stuff.. Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
How is fishing stuff and tv ariel etc not realistic? I mean if it was me i would want a good portion to go to my wedding fund, but not all i mean the wedding stuff is for one day his fishing stuff etc will last for years and many uses plus thats alot of money either way, we luckly to get £80 and thats off my mil last year and was shocked at amount, most money ive ever got overall from all my family (aunts, parents etc) was £200. Before my gran died she had put money into a xmas fund for me for this year which is £256 so worked out can spend 20 on each family member/couple and £50 on our daughter plus any extra we save between now and then!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorTotallyLovedUp
I don't think you can say that things he wants are not as important as the wedding. I get where you are coming from with the saving though, weddings don't come cheap and any money that can be put into the kitty is always welcomed, but Christmas money, to me ,and especially at that large of an amount is treat money. I think you are actually being fair in saying don't put all of it towards the wedding, but I think 50/50 would be more fair. Telling him, sorry love I know we have just received a grand but you can only have £100 of it is a tad unfair and will probably start making him resent the wedding if he cant get anything he wants in between. I think f you want to put your own share into he wedding fund that's great but don't make him spend his gift on what you would rather he did. It is completely normal be wedding focused, but don't let it rule you :) xxx
I get where you 're coming from but I see Xmas and birthday money as a great time to have some 'guilt free spending'! You can't not buy anything non wedding related over the next 21 months!! Xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
edited
Wow ok.. So everyone has totally misunderstood what I've meant..
I mean the Koi Pond is the unrealistic thing being £35,000, not the general fishing stuff.. Even if we did get that much money - it would have to go toward the extension (the realistic) but when I say this, he actually gets mardy with me for saying we'd need to win/received a hell of a lot of money to afford the koi pond too..
We agreed together the amount we'd put away as it will go towards our honeymoon and we both want that to be amazing..
I haven't said the things he wants are less important at all.. That wasn't the point I was trying to make but just to make myself clear, my H2B is a serial spender and if it wasn't for me he'd be sitting on the limit of his overdraft like he was before we met ..
What I was actually trying to say is that I feel a bit silly/sad that the only stuff I want is for the wedding when he wants all this other stuff, I have no other stuff to want.. xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorMrsX2b
My dad has a koi pond and it costs a bomb and the monthly bills for electric is crazy, He even lost intrest in it after a year and went on to fly toy planes instead, His mad lol every time he crashes one its another £500 to £1000 lol drives mum up the wall. I think men are different to us women and there things always cost more, My h2b spends loads on motorbikes lol. I think you need to sit and chat and see what is more important to you both money wise and come to an agreement. My oh has still saved half our wedding budget for us. I dont think your being silly for wanting to extend your house or save for children and a wedding i think thats totally normal. I want a cat lol not a kid and i cant even afford that as they always seem to get ill and end up costing me hundereds a month, So iv settled for a hamster, now thats sad lol. My last cat was coming in at over £200 a month all in for his meds and ins. Saying that i would really like a ps4 aswell lol But i brought a wedding cake on sunday at £550 so i got to pay that off now lol.
CommentAuthorMrsHill15
I know what you mean hun, I think the splitting xmas money is a good idea its going towards somthing important! I think as brides we constantly think about the wedding where men do not lol. im in the position where we are sacrificing other things such as holidays so understand you wanting to use any extra money on the wedding xx
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
Lol MrsX2b.. Your comment has more than cheered me up haha !! I'd quite like the newest iPad I suppose, but it never stays 'The newest' for long with apple and there's nothing wrong with mine so I'll not waste my money lol.. We need the extension to have kids, so paying off his last loan is number 1 priority after the wedding and then it's off to his cousins (a building planner) to sort out how much it will cost etc :-)
I just don't want to look an idiot that the only things I want are weddingy lol.. I have to NOT spend any money on the wedding (bar the £100 monthly spending) over the next 6 months because I need all the spare money I can get for all the birthdays in our family (2 next month, 1 in Nov, 2 in Dec, 1 in Jan and 2 in Feb !! Also for Xmas and my bro is getting married in Feb too ! Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
edited
Yeah our next holiday will be our honeymoon Mrs Hill, No way could we afford to save for a holiday and wedding.. Took us 16months to save for the holiday we had this year.. We decided to split the Xmas money cause neither of us think he'll offer any wedding specific money (despite giving H2Bs niece £10,000 toward her wedding last year) so we want to save what we can.. H2B doesn't think we'll get money from him for Xmas this year anyway but I like to plan ahead in case he does ...... Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorMrsX2b
I know what you mean i normally go away every sept but cant this year. I love wedding fairs to much so everytime i go to one i come back with something i didnt even go for lol. Like i was going to diy my cake but when i see the same one i wanted all set up and at a good price i just booked it, i couldnt not its amazing. I see a toast master at the one before and would really like him for our day but its £350(im just worried as 3 weddings iv been to lately, there has been no one in charge of things and times were sooo out and no one knew who was doing what) I also see 5 giant garden games on sunday as well for £100 hire, one was kurplunk as well, I want them all lol. Why do wedding things have to be sooo expensive the more i save the more i need its never ending. I need to stop going to wedding fairs lol and its even worse when h2b wants its to, as you just end up booking and then its like oh no now we need to save even more as wedding fair deposits seem so good like my cake was £50 deposit but now i gotta save a extra £500 lol. He also wants this guy who plays a guitar now and thats £250 but we got to be careful what extras we do book so we are going to wait, we are so bad we have stopped even buying birthday presents for our familys kids but there is 11 now so it did add up.
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I've got a list of things as long as my arm i would like as does my oh that we are giving up so we can save for this wedding! I would love a new laptop preferably a mac as my laptop crashes within miniutes,I want a bicicle, I want a car, I want a holiday that does not stress me to the end of my teether, i want to be able to buy clothes for our daughter without stressing about money. My partner wants loads of top knoch food to practice and play with ideas, he wants ps3,he needs a new phone, he wants loads of games. But at the moment were not in a position to do barely anything. Our savings for the weddings just come back up to £ 600 after taking 500 out to pay deposits! But need to save more than we are at the moment to pay for it all without getting into debt. Im stressed to hell. With the xmas mont i think that you should just be like thus is your half im going to buy myself 1 nice thing with mine then putting the rest into the wedding fund, but its up to you what you do with yours .
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorBecky1608
Ouch - yeah ok the Koi pond is unrealistic!! xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
CommentAuthorRennie1989
My husband wants the new xbox one which I am cool with. He's been wanting it since before it was designed. We both use his current xbox, I use it more for iPlayer but I use it nonetheless so I'm happy for the money to be spent. I'm applying to go back to college so it's fair. Before the wedding I did have to tell him that buying clothes, games and gadgets for himself had to be restricted because of paying off the wedding, I barely bought myself anything apart from wedding related items. He eventually accepted it so I can't deprive him of his xbox now :P
CommentAuthormiss_finch
My OH would be the same! He would want the new playstation and an infinite number of games and to convert the spare room into a man cave!!! I just let him dream!!! In reality he is quite good at saving money... I am the spender (although most of it is on my son) his only weakness is takeaways!!!! xx
The future Mrs Conroy September 2016
Vicky and Matthew 4th June 2011
Sonny George Conroy 02/10/2012... my world!!!
CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
edited
My weakness with money is other people.. If I see something i know either my H2B, mum, bro or stepsons would love, then I buy it.. I go over the top at Xmas and bdays but I just love to see how happy everyone is when they open them :-) The only things I have bought since June is wedding related or for H2Bs bday and couple bits for the kids.. I have tried to ask him to curb the spending because saving for the wedding is leaving him shorter than he was a few months ago, as it is me.. But he basically doesn't listen and thinks I'm being bossy... I gave in to him buying a Slam Man because he promised to use it etc, £250 later and he's used it once in 2 months and that was only 5 mins the night he got it ! Now he's bugging me for a £150 seat box for fishing and goes in a mardy when I say no.. I say no partly because he can't afford it and mostly because I'm getting it for his Xmas lol, but obv he doesn't know that so just thinks I'm being controlling again.. Xxx
I can't wait to become his Wife :-) <3
4th July 2015 <3
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
edited
Yeah i took control of my ohs spending within 6 months of being together, he was kinda irresponsible before we met and felt like had no purpose or meaning so just spent every penny and more on whatever he wanted, booze,games, 2 years ago he got his interitancevfrom his grandparents and wanted a new laptop a his was breaking i gave in, he wanted a mac i fave in thinking the cheap one £1000 he got the pro £2000 plus programmes for £150 was so mad, i had not long got him to pay off his credit card debt and overdraft and money he owed his parents. I he had not bought i we could of paid of car by now! He always wants domething and i always have to be the bad guy. There are 2 shelvefull of games hes barely played! And more in attic
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorLauraM9144
i know exactly what you mean hun x i have saved and pid for our entire wedding by myself so looks like you are one up onme already as your other half is saving! he just didnt get all the little things i wanted and why i wanted to afford them but i think theres a fair few men who think like this (beofre anyone shouts at me im not tarring all with the same brush i realise some are equally excited) dont get me wrong over all hes in to the idea and liked the finding a band bit , the honeymoon and of course the stag (the one bit i have tld him has to come out of his wages as im not having a hen party and after working 14 hours a day for the past 3 months to save £3000 for the wedding i wasnt prepared to pay for the stag too!) he wasnt interested in what shoes or what flowers so i just did it myself i know on the day he will appreciate all my hard work and it will look amazing, other half let slip today hes bought gta5 (vid game) which did wind me up but i guess guys just want different things as long as you are heading the same direction together it really is normal :)
One BIG day will lead to lots of little happy days !!
