I'm hoping its not just me but im finding that our wedding is getting more and more expensive by the day!
We started off with a reasonable budget. The wedding venue we have booked has a standard 50 for the day and 80 for the evening included within the package. We managed to fit within this and I was chuffed as it meant no additional costs.
The in came my parents and his parents with "oh u have to invite this person...." etc etc
Now the numbers are now 60 day and 130 evening.
Honestly i couldnt even tell you how it has got that high!
But its not just the extra meals we have to pay for..... its the additional invitations.... the additional seat covers and sashes.... the additional table centres.....
Sooooooooooooo frustrating!
My parents are paying for like 70% of wedding with me and my h2b paying the other 30%. But we agreed to be fair between the two families - ie i should invite more from my side just because my parents are paying....
However it kinda of backfired... as the additional 10 day time guests are my h2bs mums family "who she hasnt seen in 10 years" as she went ahead and invited them all. So needless to say I was foaming as i dont get how she could possibly think that she can invite people when shes not puttin a penny towards the wedding.
It annoys me a lot as id cut a lot of my family from the wedding because of trying to make it all equal and as she went and did that my mum got really upset so now the rest of my family are all coming too!
So something that was actually quite reasonably priced is now costing us a fortune!!!!
Wow sorry i did not mean for this to be a rant.....just wanted to find out if everyone is managing to sticking to a budget?
x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorMrsHarrison
What we did was just invite immediate family to our wedding, then distant family to the evening do. We only had 40 at the actual ceremony / reception, and around 70 in the evening. This made it so much cheaper. You really need to put your foot down with your future MIL though, that's totally out of order. My MIL didn't put anything towards the wedding either whereas my parents paid around £3k, and she wanted to invite "family friends" who my husband hadn't seen for about 10 years! Weddings are always a make or break family wise lol. Don't let anything ruin your special day, do what YOU want! Xx
CommentAuthorDanni13
aww bless you!!! That sounds like Id be on the warpath!! I would literally tell my MIL that I couldnt afford to pay for those ten extra, but you are happy for them to come if they cover the cost. I dont think thats an unreasonable request at all. Id get H2B to talk to her- its not fair that at all.
Our original budget was about £10K...its now just under £17K. Which is fine by us, we are covering most of it and can afford it, I just like adding little bits in when I find them!! I didn't realise it all adds up, and little details can turn into big costs!!! But you only do it once, so as long as your not in debt with it, go for it :-) xxxxx
CommentAuthorMrsCS2b
I totally agree with Danni on this. I would be inclined to ask them to cover the cost too. Neither of our families are helping with the cost so they aint having a say lol. My Mil2b is great tho and just says its your wedding, invite who you want there. My parents are not even bothered by the wedding, which is a god send some times.
I do feel for you tho hun, hope you manage to reach a compromise xx
First met 01-08-1996
Together since 02-08-1996
Getting hitched 15-08-2015
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Phew danni im so glad urs has went up too! ours was 10k in total now its just under 15k but that does include the honeymoon!
I really dont want to go into debt with it at all so we're saving as much as possible now!
Its hard putting my foot down as when we were talking about it to mil2b and his nan they were both like "well its our family they have to be there" "ur family is there nicola" bla bla and no matter what me or my h2b said it fell on deaf ears!
I can slightly understand as its his mums sisters, their husbands and their children that have made up the extra 10.... but they dont speak and they havent seen them in ten years. whereas my mums sister we see every other day and my dads brothers we see all the time!
I just dont think they realise that extra people = extra money. Hence why i let go and thought well to hell with it if his family are all invited mine might as well be too!
My h2b is quite relaxed and all "oh we'll only get married once" then when i show him the cost of everything hes like "thats far too expensive" well thats how much a wedding costs lol!
When i mentioned the cost to them of the "extra guests" i got an "oh"
Then they started going on about where everyone is going to sleep lol so even that didnt help ha!
Think they must think me and h2b are loaded or something! x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorBeckyU98
i agree with danni. tell them that you really cant afford it as budget it tight so if she really wants them to the day then she will need to pay for them or they can come to the evening.
i have this problem with my uncle that i havent seen for more than 15 years (im only 23!). he's never been in touch with me never sent bday card or anything like that even though my mom does it for his children so i said that i could afford to have them for our wedding so my mom said that she would pay for him and his family as it was an extra £250.
at the end of the day your H2B should speak to them about it and politely say that you really cant afford them so perhaps they can pay or just come to evening - its a compromise and a lot cheaper for you xx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Think im going to have too to be honest. Its £45 for additional day time but thats not including the chairs £3.50 and invites £3.50 so altogether really its just shy of £500.... its not exactly cheap!
I'll get h2b to say something :) x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorShazk
Im with Danni id be telling em that unless they pay then the extra guests will NOT be getting an invitation simple as and that they have no right in just inviting people xx
ID be going absolutely mental if I was in ur shoes right now xxx
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthorvic:)
i felt our budget was getting bigger and bigger every day, and was stressing out on how to pay for everything... h2bs mum made our invitations..we just bout card, envelope etc of the bay we bout wedding centrepieces and favours from a wholesalers, so that worked out cheaper...was going to have flowers as centrepieces and it would of cost way more... im making top table centrepiece...bout a mr&mrs sign...from a craft store in cardboard / papermache stuff...and im decopatch -ing it..bout the paper from there too
we managed to be so far under budget because of them things.... little changes you can do yourself or what not help...
but with the guest list...that im struggling to get down, but from money saved im hoping it will be a bit easier :|
CommentAuthorFernP61
you shouldn't let them dictate to you who to and who not to invite! its your wedding if your happy keep it that way i know what you mean ours was a set budget but now its sort of spiraled put of control we didnt realise bits here and there soon add up xx
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
This happened when i was supposed to get married a couple of months ago, costs were going up and i got so worried about paying for it all that we canceled :( Are getting married in three months now with a totally different outlook - small and intimate and in a different venue, its meant to be! Don't regret cancelling the big wedding - we would have been spending around £13 grand but now it is only 5 xx
CommentAuthorVelcro
This started getting on my wick so I ended up reviewing my guest list for my side and told toms mum we needed to keep the numbers down on his as well as it was getting out of control. We've put deposits down on everything based on 100 guests and that's what it needs to stay at as we were over 130 at one point and just said its not happening, start culling lol
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
This started happening to us...our initial guest list was 50, then it started to creep up, so I had a bridezilla moment and set out strict parameters for who was actually coming - which meant scrapping a fair few plus ones and family who we don't see much of.
We got the guest list down to 43, which was great...and nobody seemed miffed that they didnt get an invite, I'm sure it's sometimes the mils who are more bothered about so and so getting an invite than the person in question is!
Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
im the one who has trouble with keeping the numbers down,i keep thinking of other people i feel i should invite, like my old neighbours, (who still live next to my mum) shes offered to make my jewellery etc, and her daughters were like sisters to me growing up and am still quite close to one of them, but don't really like her husband, never have (in fact when i was 3/4 they got married and when they got to the bit about does anyone object i yelled out yes, lols) and he was really good friends with my gran tho at the end, he said she was his best friend which was sweet, he has gotten better in time lols
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorValentinaK
Next time they add any, just cooly say, "Ok, I'm happy to accept cheque or BACS, but it needs to be in the wedding acvount by. . ." If they say or act confused, just say, youre out of funds and didnt plan on that many guests so they'll need to find the funds for tgeir adfitionsl guests- or get help from your venue to backup s dtory that they csnt eeviate sny further from the current situation due to licensing/capacity!
And we lived happily ever after!
CommentAuthorSJJ
I agree with Danni! I haven't budged on my guest list at all! I politely said when I have been 'requested' to invite someone they are more than welcome if the said parent will cover the cost, neither sides have invited anyone because of this lol, we are paying for 90% of the day. But our budget has risen by a grand due to venue and dress lol xx
CommentAuthorFernP61
we also cut the day guests down so now we only have family and a few close friends it made sense i didn't want everyone there esp people i haven't known long xx
CommentAuthorRennie1989
Husband and I made a conscious decision to only invite people who mattered to us, we didn't want to invite family who we hadn't seen in decades just because they were family, we'd rather invite friends instead. And we didn't invite certain people for the sake of numbers, as a result we had a smallish wedding but there were people we liked and enjoyed being in their company.
As for budget, by the last couple of months it went out of the window. Because people dropped out things like catering became cheaper but then things I forgot about, like shawls and guest book, added on. Budget plans are never 100% foolproof.
