Wedding Forum - Hen do's...

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Planning & Helpful Tips > Wedding budgeting & Money: hen do's

1 to 29 of 29

- CommentAuthorvic:)
how much are you expecting everyone to pay each for your hen party?
I have been invited to a family members hen party 6 months before my wedding, and am expected to pay £180...
am I being unreasonable thinking this is to much??
vic x
- CommentAuthorsarah
Not really answering your question but I think the reasonableness or unreasonableness of the cost of the hen comes down to the guests. In some circles it's common and expected to spend 100's on a destination do, and in others you just head out to the town centre and just cover the cost of booze and food.
Is she pressuring you to attend? To be honest if you can't afford you can't afford and you should just decline. She should be aware that people may not want to spend that much to attend.
- CommentAuthorvic:)
im a bridesmaid..so I kinda feel like I HAVE to go if u get what I mean?
x
- CommentAuthorsarah
Oh no... that changes things. Can you discuss with her about the cost being too much? Maybe something could be changed?
- CommentAuthorvic:)
I tried. she just said. "do whatever" but not in a nice way if u get what I mean

- CommentAuthorsarah
What is making it so expensive? Could you do something different to reduce costs yourself?
- CommentAuthorPoPoem
OMG thats a bit much! I read an article recently that the average person now spends around £600 on a wedding, by the time you bought a present and outfit and hen do and drinks of the day etc etc....What are you doing for that kind of money?
- CommentAuthorvic:)
well I got to buy them a present still, and I bought my own bridesmaid dress, doin my own hair, make up, got to get my shoes still too....
well its an ice bar on a night, shoppin on sun n sat day an activity day.
but the price includes train too.
I just feel like im put in a position that I don't have a choice about going if u get what I mean...
xx
- CommentAuthorJoanna
I'd never pay that much for a hen do! Weddings are expensive enough for guests what with travel, accommodation, gift, buying drinks etc. For my hen do, everyone paid £40 I think.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3
- CommentAuthorvic:)
yeh I got to pay to get there (wedding) ...an hour n half drive there. but im not bothered about that cuz im stayin at my parents so I get to spend time with them...
so I wouldn't be being a complete c0wbag for now going?
im more bothered about what everyone would think to be honest..
xx
- CommentAuthorsarah
That's exactly the position you've been put in. I think it's ridiculous to have such an expensive hen do when the bride can't even cover the costs of the bridesmaid dresses. That said it does sound like you don't have much of a choice but to attend the do since you're part of the bridal party. Have you talked to any of the other girls attending? Do they think it's too much?
- CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
That does make it a bit tricky for you but I'd just tell her straight that you would love to come but you just can't afford it; I'm sure she will understand :)

Met in 2009
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- CommentAuthorJoanna
I agree with Sarah, I think it's ridiculous to have such an expensive hen when you haven't even bought the bridesmaid dresses. Don't worry about what people think, just explain that you can't afford that much. I'm sure everyone will understand that

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3
- CommentAuthorvic:)
I don't know any of the others apart from my sister...she says she thinks I should go cuz it would be weird if I didn't. but I dno how she going to afford it...because she is a student again ...started this week.
I missed this bit out...had to search to see if she uses this site ha
basically she is marrying my brother...
we don't get on....we used to then we went on a couples holiday with them....things got said arguments had..
im only bridesmaid cuz of who she is marrying. she never speaks to me...
so I feel more pressured to go to try and make amends even though ive tried countless times to try make amends...wasn't my fault for the arguments either...
families eh
- CommentAuthorPoPoem
I personally think, (no offence to your friend) why would you not think about things like that, unless you and all your friends are in well established circumstances, and you've paid for things yourself, it is a bit much.

Can you go to part of it? Ice bar (if its the one im thinking of) you pay alot of money to get in for one drink and then you're not allowed to stay in there for too long because its too cold lol.

I want to go on a warrior dash or something fun! lol
- CommentAuthorvic:)
na I live in Yorkshire...the hen do is in London...for the cost of train tickets, its not worth goin down for part of it...

im not even bothered about a hen do for this reason...making people feel pants about the cost n what not..
I will go shoppin n for tea with my mum...im sad like that lol
- CommentAuthorsarah
That isn't sad. I don't like the idea of a big hen do at all either.
- CommentAuthorFernP61
Um I wouldn't pay that sorry!! My hen might us costing us all 65 pounds each 34 for the hotel we are staying in the Marriott Bristol had it cheap 1. We booked it early 2. We're sharing rooms 2 rooms with 2 double beds in them 31 is for the vip room which has a drinks package for us inc the room x
- CommentAuthorgonzo
  
  edited
I think it should be up to the guests, the option is there and the bride shouldn't be pee'd off if you can't go, my hen do is costing everyone max £250 pp thats 4 days abroad but with all the guests i've said please dont worry if you can't go as i'll be having a uk night out too, i've not pressured anyone and plus everyone thats been invited are the type to tell me straight out, do 1!! if they dont want to come or to expensive lol its not on her acting like this she should just give you a choice without sounding mean about it, and especially if your paying everything for the bridesmaid position anyway x
- CommentAuthorsarah
- CommentAuthorvic:)
I think a part of my stupidly thinks if I go it will some how make everything ok and everyone will get on...
I live on another planet half the time I think :P
x
- CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I don't think that price is too bad actually considering everything that's included x

Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
- CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Thing is others have said they wouldn't pay it and have planned theirs for a certain amount but you end up spending money on food etc anyway so will still bump their costs up x

Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
- CommentAuthorkrissy905
my hen do is cost everyone £100 for a spa day and over night hotel break with dinner and drinks and limo there and back.
its just the 8 of us going 3 of my sister, 3 of my older nieces and my sister in law I checked with everyone on price before booking and they chose to add the limo both ways as it was only a few pounds more then the train. I am paying for my niece who is my bridesmaid and my younger niece who is turning 18 soon is using the money I would usually pay her for babysitting to cover the cost.

I am making little gifts for them all of slippers, bathrobes, mini bottles of bubbly (for the Limo) and I am decorating them all champagne and wine glasses as well as making wine glass charms.
- CommentAuthorvic:)
aww that sounds like a lovely idea krissy :)
x
- CommentAuthorThe-Future-Mrs-B
Agree with other ladies, if you can't afford it you can't afford it, does seem rough that she has chosen an expensive hen do when she hasn't paid for your bm dress, she should understand especially when she is a b2b herself with budgets to stick to.
- CommentAuthorMrsGothBride
I went to Amsterdam for 5 days and each paid well over £500 but it was a group decision to go and it was planned well in advance and gt ddidn't bother me in the slightest when the odd one couldn't come because of time away or money. I had a blast with those that could come and I had a drink at home with those that couldn't

I guess in answer to your question, no I don't think it Unreasonable to have a hen do cost that much but it is unreasonable for the bride to expect every one to attend. We are only having parents and two friends who are a couple as witnesses at our wedding and neither of them attended the stag or hen do because of their kids, money, time off work etc.

When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours
we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying
weirdness and call it love, true love.
5th September 2013
- CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I agree - brides can have hen dos costing however much they want, but it's out if order if they then get in a snit because people can't or won't make it, I don't think it's even a point of whether or not they can afford it, it's whether or not they feel comfortable spending that kind of money.

Xx

My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013

The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
- CommentAuthorvic:)
think I decided not to go for quite a few reasons...
but thankyou all for your advice, you made me feel like I wasn't being a super b1t(h for having concerns about going!
but I don't think my decision will go down well....so be prepared for my tears :P

thank you everyone
xxxx

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