Wedding Forum - Oh my, the nerve of her!...

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Family/Attendants Stress: Oh my, the nerve of her!

1 to 18 of 18

- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
  
  edited
My oh's mother came over today, and she asked about the wedding and when it was going to be, july 2015 i replyed .
"Oh thats a bit far away, don't you think it should be sooner,i mean some peope could have died by then, like your gran" SHE ACTUALLY SAID IT!

To come over on my birthday and critisise my plan's my date and on top of it point out my gran will be dead , when shes criticaly ill and dieing.... I just don't know what to say! I was flabbergasted even my oh gave her this look of discust! I feel sick ! I been trying to enjoy my day!

This has so upset me!

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
OMG! For real???? I think I'd've told her to leave! Cheeky moo.... I'd be having words with your oh to speak to her!

Happy birthday though xxx

Ill marry my hero
- CommentAuthorNatalieD205
My mum said the same sort of thing to me...... "oh i wish it was sooner..... you dont know how much longer your grandma and grandad will be here"
Dont they realise how hurtfull and upsetting that is???
My G&G are both in their 80's but they arent sick or anything..... what a horrid thing to say about someone!!!!!
I'm sorry....
She is so unthoughtful.......... I wish I could say something to help.....
I'm sure your gran is just really happy that you have found your perfect man and you are going to live happily ever after.
xxx

Cant wait to marry my best boy :)
I love him to the moon and back
Eeeeeeeee!!!!
- CommentAuthorElinor Claire
My grandfather was pushing for us to marry earlier, but that's because he's desperate to be a great grandfather. My poor brother and his wife are regularly being questioned about baby plans (they have none). My grandparents probably won't be at the wedding, as they don't really travel now, and they weren't at my brother's wedding. We'll send them a video though. They're both in their 90s but not showing any signs of failing.

30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
- CommentAuthorGems
Happy Birthday hun xxx

Try not to let what she has said upset you or ruin your day. Very thoughtless and stupid thing to say.

Marrying my soul mate and best friend 5th July 2014

- CommentAuthorkrissy905
some people just open their mouths with out thinking I hope you had a lovely birthday regardless of her thoughtless comment
- CommentAuthorNatalieD17
Me and my other half where going to do July 2015 bit my nan begged me and my partner to do it sooner cos she's getting worried about her age! Upset me a bit to think of it! Luckily we had the money sat there to do it a year earlier! I can defo understand why your upset and hurt by her comments tho very rude and insensitive! Xx
- CommentAuthorValentinaK
My patents said the same, it wasn't a joke, and they were right... So I brought it forward... I want to try and let my grandparents that remain see me get married... or at least visit them on the way to the church. Also, I didn't need 2 years to plan a wedding. We're engaged to be married not sit around fanning about. Certainly made me get my Ares into gear!

Sorry to hear it made you feel bad though... Happy birthday too!

And we lived happily ever after!
- CommentAuthorLauz&Stu
Firstly - Happy Birthday x
Secondly - I think some people really do speak before thinking don't they! That was definitely a harsh thing to say *sad face*
My oh's Nan died a few weeks ago, and his mum died 6yrs ago so we won't have many of his family at the wedding as he didn't have a big family to begin with. Getting married while Nan was still with us was always on our minds - but neither of us made a point of rushing our wedding for that reason and no-one ever said as much to us. I'm just glad she knew we were engaged before she passed away and was happy for us.
At the end of the day a wedding isn't about other people and who is there and who isn't. It's about the two of you and hopefully as many of your loved ones as possible will be there. My wedding isn't till 2016 - the world could've ended by then

Mother to 4
Engaged to my soul mate
Loving life
Mrs Tomlinson to be
- CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I think that's awful for her to say that...and I'm not being funny or anything but ppl die everyday, his mum could die tomorrow so that's a very hurtful thing for her to say!x

Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
- CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
That is an awful thing to say! It is your wedding and you can have it when you want, I hope your gran is alive for your wedding :( My Grandad passed in jan so obviously won't be at my wedding which is heart breaking but there is nothing which can be done. I would have slapped her :(

Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
- CommentAuthorMrsManiatt
What a horrible thing to say! especially on your birthday! but saying that, although i havent said it, that is one of my reasons for wanting to get married sooner rather than later - my grandparents are old and ill in their own ways, and it would make my day for them to be there. As much as I know anything can happen in 11 months, it still is something I think about. But surely thats for you to think not for your Mil to be to say!! xxx
- CommentAuthorLittleMissWorry
So sorry she upset you :( Trying to be devil's advocate though, from her point of view maybe she was just trying to be nice mentioning your gran, so you don't end up regretting not having it sooner. Also, birthdays probably aren't that important anymore to her so she wouldn't have thought anything of saying on that day rather than any other. Could it have been good intentions, but coming out all wrong?
- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
my gran is terminally ill with cancer we are doubtful ties going to last any longer than the net week or two. So i know shes not going to be there, and like kelbel said she (his mum) could die tomorrow for all we know. Theres no one else who is extremely elderly so would pass away very soon, so unless someone gets hit by a bus its unlikely.
Its just her way to trying to push us into doing what she wants.
shes like i can help you give/ loan you money. Well i would prefer not and even i we won the millions It would not be till July 2015 as i want my little girl to be a bit older (shes nearly 2) so she can take some direction and have some memorys and enjoy herself with her lil cousins.
my oh's sister had a massive like 20g wedding for i think my 5/6G one is nothing but we are struggling to save £20 a week and pay all the bills. I want to be self sufficient.

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthorButtonAndBoo
OMFG!

Big hugs. Happy birthday by the way.

I thought my OH's mother was bad, but thankfully she hasn't taken it that far - yet.

Do your best to stay positive - I know it's hard.

Stand your ground and do everything the way you want.

X
- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
don't worry im stubborn and its what i want, and it think she's very slowly learning that

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
Apart from the mil from hell hope you had a good birthday. I get the elderly in our families saying the hope they will stillbe around in 3 years for the wedding. It is all good and well them saying that but we agreed we do not want to start our married life with a pile of loans and credit card debt we have built to pay for our wedding or we could just do it next year. We are also paying for the wedding ourselves with no help from our parents.

I have my guest list written at the moment with 8 provisional plus 1's and there are several older relatives on the guest list. We know one of my h2b's grnadads probably won't be around, his dementia is progressing really quickly and his gran will either kill her self looking after him as she refuses any help or will die of a broken heart if anything happens to him. I know how quickly peoples health cna deteriorate my uncle died suddenly at the age of 63. I know I could walk out tomorrow and get hit by a bus but we can't plan our lives around everyone elses expectations and around things that may or may not happen.

Have a great day when it comes ladies whether it is next week or in 5 years time. Enjoy the planning and never mind everyone else when they say you should change the dat eor location xx
- CommentAuthorsarah
  
  edited
OMG... I can see where she's coming from but there's better ways to word it.
She probably thinks everyone still has short engagements. But seeing as we don't have to get married to legitimize what we do in our private lives, why not wait longer and have the wedding of your dreams?

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