Wedding Forum - OMG at my mother..wth??...

So anyways...my mum has 2 ex husbands, one of which is my dad, she's been talking for years about getting back with him eventually but they have both chnaged so much neither was willing to say an outright no to that.

My dad's GF & him are getting serious, thinking about marriage as she gets divorced this week after visiting court because her husband is a bit of an a rse & contesting a whole load of things.

My mum has had a string of BF's which is all fine & dandy untilo it gets to the point where I can't flaming sleep because she has them here, she had a ex-BF from her early years that she has always kept in contact with, he's really nice, was going to ask him to the wedding so had ran it past my dad, my dad says to me that's alright hunny, your day etc etc, but then he text my mum & called her a bi tch & a liar etc, yet he has done same thing as he never told me about Sandra & him til I was in the car with him halfway to his house last year.

She had also asked the ex-BF which both me & my sister think is appropriate for my mum, a gentleman, someone that will look after her & always be there etc, so she decided to ask him tomarry her last week, he said let's take things slow, as he has every right to say.

Anyways, my sister just called me to tell me our mum had text her asking if it wa alright to get back with her ex-hubby, her 2nd one, the reason she divorced him was for a variety of reasons, the worst being he asked my little sister if he could f uck her, on my flaming birthday too, he totally spoiled that day for all of us, my birthday is Christmas Eve so you can just imagine what the next day was like too.

He also when we moved out never allowed us to call her everyday if we wanted to, she was not allowed to call us & I feel he never looked after her properly ever.

Now I have called my mum a selfish bi tch because she fails to see that she has hurt me & my sister for even considering a man that literally did not want me or my sister near my mum.

I feel kinda bad, I know she is lonely & that but I feel she should be setting an example, not running around fu cking around with people's emotions or with countless men that she brings here!!!

I don't know what to say to her to make her see sense & to see she has hurt us & that she needs to buck her ideas up, I've told her what I had always thought of her ex-hubby as me & my sister never really liked him that much but we tolerated him for her until he asked us to stop calling his house to speak to his wife.

Ugh, I was in such a happy mood, now I'm really fu cking pissed off, sorry for the language too ladies :(

I know I just don't think it's fair as that man never wanted us to be part of his family, as far as he was concerned she had no children & we meant nothing to him.

Yeah I know, being lonely sucks but why settle for an idiot?

I just don't understand where she is coming from, like you said why propose to an ex-BF when she is now thinking of getting back with an ex-hubby.

She's at work til 9pm tonight, so I'll see her when she gets back as will be cooking her dinner for her getting home etc.

Ugh...my head hurts!!! x

Least I have you ladies to have a rant to, otherwise I think I would explode!

Your mum has every right to try and be happy but not at the expense of you and your sis.

I think every parent should put their children first regardless... my mum is 60 and still puts my bro (who is 40 and still lives with her) before any man she has been involved with.

i hope you get it sorted hun, you have time on your side but i understand it is a stressful thing to cope with x x

Oh I completely agree, yes we want her to be happy, have her own life etc, but not with somene that treats her like shite & won't allow us to see or speak with her.

I love my mum very much & I worry about what will happen when I move to Canada, she is diabetic so I do not sleep properly at night as i worry if she needs me during the night, her ex hubby never did this but I know the ex-BF would.

Yes Kerry my sister was just into her 20's when he asked her that, she was serious with her BF at that time in fact I think they were engaged, it ruined lots of things for all of us that year.

It disgusts me that he would say that to her, when she told my mum, he openely admitted he had as he found her attractive, which really pissed all of us off.

I understand the need of someone to love & have love returned but that love needs to condionless or you ned up being down-trodden, she's helped me with that before & her ex-hubby treats her like one of my ex BF's trreated me, I know it's a do as I say etc thing, but all I see in her future is hurt, my bro-in-law has said he wil not allow thier child near that house if my mum gets back with her ex, which I understand in one way but I feel so annoyed that he would do that to my mum too.

could you *arrange* a date for your mum and the EX BF ????

ohhh i didnt realise! oh that must be very hard. i dont know what to suggest really :( if it was me in your position id probably just have a big rant at her, shout and scream and tell her how i feel. but thats just me. hope it all gets sorted out soon x

omgosh, he sounds a hell of alot niver than the other dude. why do some women always want men that r no good for them, i just dong get it.x

I still say you and your sister need to read her the riot act - the guy totally played hell with your family *shakes head*
I'm like jellytot - I've never been able to understand why some mothers put men before their kids, bloomin 'eck, I left my daughter's dad because the way he acted really screwed the poor kid over but I would never dream of letting an 'outsider' upset my baby, if they did they'd be on a one way right out of my life.

If I were in your shoes what I would personally do (and not saying for a minute you should) is say this to my mum;
"Fair enough, you're a grown woman, you can see whoever you please. However, while you live under my roof there are certain people I refuse to let cross my threshold. As far as I'm concerned if you take up with this idiot again then you're more than welcome to pack your bags and leave and unless you straighten yourself out then you've lost a daughter"
It's harsh but it puts it into a broader perspective for her.

The other guy sounds wonderful, shame she can't settle down with him :(