Wedding Forum - Looks like we may have to call the wedding...

Well after having a major argument with my bro in law earlier today after getting the crap news from the garage that our car is going to cost over £200 to fix, I am thinking of calling off the wedding to save my parents and ourselves the major expense.

Basically, my bro in law had a go at me re the fact that my parents are helping us out with the wedding finances, even though my parents offered to help without any pressure as they have paid for every wedding my sisters have had,even my bro in laws wifes one (my eldest sis). He also went onto the fact we should have money considering we both work and that we shouldnt have to borrow money from my parents. He was really nasty so I basically had a right go back which is so unlike me and said that although I am disabled with a chronic pain condition I still push myself to work and have taken on a 2nd job, and hoping to get a 3rd one too so that I can afford to pay more of the wedding ourselves, even if it kills me to do so. This is my bro in law that has been disabled for 16 years but hasnt for one minute tried back to work and lives off my sisters wage. So to accuse me of not trying is so crap as he hasnt ever tried to get back into work in those 16 years and I am more disabled than him.

So I now feel so guilty for letting my parents offer to pay some of the wedding and that may be better if we cancel, pay my parents back as soon as we can with what they have given us so far and just live like we are for the rest of our lives. Dont get me wrong, I do want to get married and I dont want to have to cancel but right now I feel like crap, been crying since I got home and have had to go to bed as feel so lousy.

Any advice welcome and a hug or 2 would be really appreciated as I am feelins so low now with all this crap thats gone on over the last week.

Rant over. x

i agree with dove! sending the biggest hugs your way, your parents want to help, it really is none of your bro in law's business!!!

((((((((big hugs))))))) xx

Big hugs hunni! You sooo dont deserve all the cr*p you get thrown at you!! xxx

I suspect his problem is jealousy, pure and simple. Maybe they wanted to borrow the money or something. I do know how you feel though, I feel guilty about the things my parents are paying for. I would suggest you sit down with them and discuss what they are paying for and whether they can afford it and you'll feel much better knowing that they are happy to do this. His opinion isnt worth worrying about xx

im guessing hes married to your sister...so his wedding was paid for with the help from your parents! he really doesnt have a leg to stand on...he should at least be trying to work as alot of jobs and companies cater to peoples needs and disabilities...ignore him hun, its your day and if your parents are helping you to make your day perfect then take full advantage of it! xxx

Have text my h2b and he is saying he never liked the guy anyway and he defo isnt getting an invite if we still get married, my sister would be gutted though if I told her that and the wedding would end up with family pulling out if that happens as its my bridesmaids dad who is the twat that had the go at me earlier. This is the same sister who has been very ill with bi polar but still works ful ltime as a primary school teacher as she feels she has to or else they wouldnt have money to live on and her husband just lazes about the house doing f*ck all whilst he lives off her wages. Arrrrrrrrghhhhh its doing my head in now! x

1st HUGGGGGGGE HUGS

2nd Dont you DARE cancel your wedding over something your bil has said, whats it got to do with him anyway?
Bet he never said no when your parents gave him money for his wedding to your sister so why should you? If you cancel babe then the money your parents have given you will be wasted and im sure your parents wont want that. They OFFERED you money because your their DAUGHTER and thats what parents do. (Ill drag you to the church/hotel on the day if i have to, so be warned. You deseve your special day)

3rd Ignore your BIL he is prob just jealous because your so much BETTER then him lol. You must be your more disabled then him and yet you have 3 jobs and he has none. Plus you have an amazing quality that im sure he doesnt have, you CARE ABOUT OTHERS.
When i first joined here every question i asked you not only gave me one answear you gave me half a dozen options to look at and im sure im not the only one on here that thinks your amazing!

(who was it the other day that said about having a spooney fanclub?? lol im in)

yeah im with Hails - I reckon we could gang up and drag her there.......lol

:-) YEP lets make a drag spooney to church group :-)

i wil join that group hails lol.
sweetie dont cancel the day u hav soo been lookin 4ward to just cos of sum pompus t**t who has his hed up his butt. i would speak ti ur parents and i agree wif wot all the other girls hav said. i no how gutted i wud be if we had to cancel our weddin so dont do anything u mite regret x ((((hugs)))

I'll join the drag Spooney to the church campaign!

Awww hugs hun, was trying to call you on your moby but it went to busy now says it's off LOL.

It was my house phone so the number gets auto with held sorry :(

I'll try in a wee while again.

Don't even worry about this guy, you do so much already & anymore & you would end up really bad, don't cancel the nwedding, don't feel guilty, you have every right to have your parents help you if they offer it.

I am so sorry things are going belly up just now hun & whenever you need a chat you knw where I am xxx

sending big hugs hunny...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

And thanks everyone for your advice, I will give you all a laugh as obviously my bro in law (whos been living at my parents house for free the last 3 weeks between house moving) hadnt informed my parents of our argument this morning after my parents went out to a drs appointment cause my mum text me a wee while ago to ask when I will pop by again to collect some more of my wedding fund to cover costs of things ive paid out in the last month! Does that sound like a mum who doesnt willingly want to help her daughter out?

I'm still furious with my bro in law as Ive done so much for him and my eldest sister in the past from free babysitting when the kids were young,to taxiing them to things,to recently caring for my sis when her bipolar was really bad. Also im thinking it is possibility a guilt trip from him as he is feeling bad that him and my sis cant contribute to their daughters wedding in October this year and by having a go at me makes him feel less guilty. x

perhaps if he got off his bum they could help their daughter! thats not yours or your parents fault...thats his for not being a supportive husband and father!

((((((((big hugs)))))))

hun don't u dare cancel ur wedding the girls r right he sounds like a right t*at he doesn't deserve an invition to ur weddin after that n if ur parents want to help with ur weddin like they did for his n ur sisters then thats up to them he sound like like a jealous ignorant lil man who obviously needs to grow up n keep his opinions to himself

if this is makin u feel really bad then speak to ur parents n i would also tell them n ur sis what he said n how it made u feel he has no right to make u feel like that

i'm with tigerlily if he got off his lazy a*se then he would b able to help pay towards his daughters wedding

xxxx

HUGS!!!!!
Dont cancel the wedding my darling. Pretty please with a cherry on top!!
It's absolutely nothing to do with him. If your parents want to help thats their decision and not his. Even with two members of a couple working full time things are stretched as we all tend to live to our means and dont have a spare few thousand to host a wedding. You'll obviously be putting in everything you can afford to save and the rest you'll be helped with.
It will be the wedding of your dreams because you will have worked hard for what you can afford and your parents will have put in the money with all their love.
Look after yourself
x

Have you spoken to your H2B about all this?
Don't let your brother in law get to you, he's not worth it. If i were you i'd tell my sister to have word's with him cause he has NO right what so ever speaking to you in the way that he did about matters that don't even concern HIM!! It's not comming out of HIS pocket, JOG ON LITTLE MAN!!!
You have every right to have your wedding and enjoy it, DO NOT FEEL BAD. Your parents offered to help, end of story. Chin up ^.^ *sends cyber hugs* x x x

Yes Gummybaby I text him when it happened and have since later cause hes at work at the moment, think I did post what he thought about my bro in law further above in this post.

Thanks girls for all your hugs and advice. xx

Spooney hun I think you hit the nail on the head there with him feeling inadeqete because he can't contribute to his daughters wedding but it does not give him the right to be such a hypocritical bastrad. You're parents have chosen to do this for you, as they did with their other daughter(s) through choice, not obligation. I would still have a word with them making sure that they aren't over stretching themelves financially but to be honest I recon it is more likely they have denied him money for something through choice and he is being a jealous prick. Tell your sister what he has said and explain that at the moment you would rather he didn't attend. Hope you're feeling better hun, big hugs to you x

*HUGS*
Sounds to me like your bil is one of those sad Richard Craniums we all encounter at some point.
He doesn't support his family, he's sponging off your parents and he had his wedding paid for - do you know what it sounds like to me? If your parents are paying for your wedding then he's not going to get that money from them and woebetide if they're supporting him that they help you.
Your mum doesn't sound like the sort of person who resents helping her children, as you said, you're getting the same treatment as your siblings got and she's more than happy to pop round and give you some more of the fund to spend - sounds like they genuinely want to help you.
Ignore him, he's a douchebeg!! If he gives you any more grief then point me in his direction and I'll go give him what for!!

Don't cancel your wedding just because of this, I promise you, if you do it will be something you regret for the rest of your life!

*more hugs*
much love xxx

(((huge hugs)))
Your parents wouldn't help if they didn't want to. Don't let him make you cancel your big day! It sounds like you more than deserve the wedding of your dreams! Chin up hun. x x

I agree with the all of the above... tell him to but out and if he doesn't have anything nice to say then keep it buttoned shut.

(((hugs))) (((hugs))) (((hugs)))

(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))) and more ((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))). I don't mean to be cheeky here but being quite frank your bro in law sounds like a complete tosser!! Do not give up your special day for anyone especially not him and if you do decide to cancel the wedding then your playing right into his hands he will have won which is exactly what he wants!! You deserve your big day and if you have already paid money out do you not think your parents would be more upset at the thought of having paid out that money for a non event even if you promised to pay them it all back and whats the point in that then you are all loosing out except your smug bro in law!!
Your mum and dad sound like they are happy to help you out and you are doing everything in your power to pay what you can aswell so you shouldn't be ashamed of taking their money he is just trying to make you feel guilty because he has nothing better to do with his time!! OMG people like him get me so annoyed - and I will join the group of girls dragging you to your wedding lol!! xx

First of all (((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))
I'm sorry to hear about the crap you're going through. I agree with everyone else, don't let your brother's jealousy spoil your wedding plans. That's not fair. xx