With our day guests we said we needed their RSVP's by end of this month. Tbh the majority have all replied but we have like 4 that just havent bothered despite me sending them constant reminders! I know theyve seen the messages too as i sent them via book of face and it tells you when its been seen.
Now the times up i said they HAD to let us know by today and i still havent heard back and theyve been online so they obv dont have intentions of letting us know.
My day guests are the same im waiting for HALF our evening guest to reply, same story ive sent reminders that have all been ignored or they said they would get back to me that was 3 weeks ago!
Ive actually had enough its so damn rude!
So i need help with a little message to send my day guests something along the lines of sorry you cant make our wedding day & about coming to the evening do?
Im useless at this sort of thing!!
CommentAuthorclive
We're still waiting for two RSVP's. by enlarge, our lot have been really very good. Within three weeks of invites going out, 98% have got back to us.
However, there ain't gonna be no reminders in this house. If by the 30th may we hear nothing, then they won't be coming. Simple as that.
CommentAuthorAmyK
edited
It might take an afternoon of ringing around everyone - arduous, I know, but some people (e.g a cousin) might have thought that by telling their mum (your aunt, who also got an invite) that they're going is sufficient. You'd be surprised but to some people they really do think that's enough.
People really should've made their own arrangements for your day by now (booking time off work if necessary, booking hotels etc) so if they haven't replied then perhaps they're not able to make it. But yeah, it's darn right rude not to say one way or the other!
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I think u should ring them or even better go round in person because ppl can ignore phone calls if they see who's ringing x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
edited
All our family have replied it just friends - which i have text & messaged.
To be fair i cant be a*sed to ring around nor should i have to, im sending out another batch of texts & messages to evening guests to let us know by the 1st as for day guests too late weve put them down as a no x
Cor some guests are just plain f*cking rude i just sent them all a message saying " we havent had a RSVP yet and could they please let us know by 1st may as on the 2nd we are passing final numbers onto the venue. If we havent heard back by then we will assume they cant make it and we look forward to theyre reply." ... So 2 mins later i get a reply saying " Well assume we aint coming becki!
Wow I feel so fortunate. I was dreading having to chase people but within a fortnight all but two of the invitees had replied! result!
Can't wait until the day I become Mrs. Johnson :)
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
I wish all of mine had lol
Apparently ive been rude to this girl because she was meant to do my hair for the wedding and wasnt the most reliable so i went with another hairdresses and asked if she still wanted to do my bms... never got a reply.
Apparently its all because im having a strop because she couldnt make my hen do so ive done this on purpose?? work that one out lol she was the one who said if i wanted someone else to do my hair it was fine... now im having abuse hurled at me for being a bridezilla?
Literally cant win lol
CommentAuthorFinally Susan B
I chased replies (nicely) and still waited for answers. With 7 weeks to go I sent all left to reply a message along the lines that as we had such limited numbers, any that hadn't replied by x date would be assumed they couldnt make it and their (daytime)place would be offered to other friends and that they would be welcome for the evening only. All but 2 replied yes straight away
CommentAuthorVickie
We had a few people like this, most of the them replied with a reminder. After a few polite reminders, I gave them an ultimatum asking to reply within 2 days time by a certain time. If they didn't reply it would be a no. I had replies that afternoon of sending it. Did this via email rather than text or facebook which they didn't reply too.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
IMPO if you have sent a couple of reminders chasing already and it's passed the deadline then tough, they have missed the boat and aren't coming so if they get back to you now you can say sorry, you've confirmed final numbers and as they didn't resond by the deadline there is no space for them now.
It is not fair on you to be messed around by people, that's the stance I've taken with a couple of people.
You could drop them a line to say sorry you've not heard from them and now that you've had to confirm final numbers you had to presume they're not coming but they're welcome to attend the evening reception xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthornadia13
The only people we had problems wiv were my family ( cousins & aunts) who live afar... We send them invites and then I sent a message 2 all on f/b saying we need a reply by a certain date, thought I'm not running around after them, they had my mobile number, husbands email address our home address and f/b 2 get in touch!! And still heard nothing only from others that they wouldn't b coming and even if I didn't hear this I would of done the same!! I just send them all another message saying sorry they weren't coming & how they b missed!!! 1 male cousins said he was coming but didn't show up (nice) an aunt said she was but was ill ( although others think different) but she did let us know in time for us 2 get others in, & she sent a nice txt on the day and a card in the post!! Now my other so called cousins didn't even wish me luck or congratulated me... Not a txt or even anything of f/b while I had many messages from friends and people putting photos of me & family up on f/b I got nothing.... Not even a like on our wedding photos.... The only like I got from a cousin was coz my brother is in the photo has she has a crush on him ( very sad indeed of her) But at least I had one cousin from down there that is from my mum's side and I had a cousin from my dad side ( who I hadn't seen 4 20yrs) that came which was very nice!! Plus the way I c it, is if they only did come my day wouldn't of been as prefect as it was!!! X
CommentAuthorbarbie86
OK, I'm going to play devil's advocate here: when you set an RSVP date, that should be the RSVP date, and it's impolite to chase people before then. You should wait until the date has passed before chasing people.
I do understand where you're coming from, and it does annoy me when people don't RSVP quickly (I mean, you're either free or you're not; if you're free, why wait to RSVP? Bugs me no end!), but from an etiquette POV they've done nothing wrong, and you chasing them may seem rude, or may have annoyed them; if you wanted replies sooner, you should have set an earlier date.
So, give it until a couple of days after the date you set has passed, and then call people, and simply say, 'Hi there, I'm just calling as our RSVP date has now passed and we haven't heard from you. I need an answer now as to whether you are able to attend, and if you are unsure, we will have to mark you down as unable to attend; I hope you understand'.
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
I can understand sort of where youre coming from Barbie but the way I see it the RSVP date is the cut off date and i shouldnt have to chase up after this time, we have given our guests a year 1/2 notice with save the dates and they have had there invites for like 5 months its just good manners to get back to someone.
All my days guests have now replied except one of h2bs families. Its just the evening guests now x
CommentAuthorbarbie86
I do get where you're coming from; we've hosted a lot of big parties and it's always frustrating when people leave it until the last minute to RSVP, or don't RSVP in the deadline and you have to chase them. Personally, if I get an invite and know I am able to go, I RSVP straight away, I don't hang about/drag my heels; and if I wasn't sure (eg had to check with work, or wasn't sure about finances) I'd speak to the host/s and explain the situation and see if there was any leeway; I wouldn't just ignore it and went for them to chase me.
BUT, annoying as it is, unless they have exceeded the deadline, they haven't done anything wrong, and it is bad etiquette to chase until the deadline has actually passed. We're setting a deadline a month before we actually need RSVPs precisely for this reason; it gives us plenty of time to chase people without getting stressed over it.
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
Im planning on setting my RSVP a month before i need as i know a fair amount of my family and our froends are scatter brained and would not be wanting to have to chase people only 2 months before the wedding!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
We have to have rsvps for ours because its naval hq so basically no RSVP no entry muahahaha X
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i agree i would call them and put them on the spot
