SO, with only 2 weekends left until the hen do, I have been chasing one friend to drop off the t-shirt money that I had paid in for her as she promised she would drop it off if I paid for her. So, I text her again yesterday and this morning I get a text saying her ex husband has refused to have the kids and no one else can have them so she can't come. Well this would be a fine excuse if she hadn't text me last week to say she would need to be home by 6 on Sunday as that was the time her ex was dropping the kids off at her house. I was polite said "Oh no, is there no one else that can have them? I've already paid for everything so can't get the money back either" so which she replied but you said you can cancel for free! I told her that I can cancel for free but thats the whole booking and the hotel is full so I can't even change the twin for a single so I still need to pay for it. I understand that she is now out of pocket but I am not being left out of pocket because she has decided for what ever reason that she can't come. She has clearly forgotten that me and her ex husband are very close friends and I talk to him on a daily basis and know that no such conversation has taken place between them. I am so annoyed, she was supposed to organise my hen weekend in the first place and didn't bother, hasn't asked a single question about the wedding, has repeatedly asked if she can bring her new boyfriend to the wedding (I've seen him but never met him) and won't take no for an answer. She is basically expecting me to cancel my entire hen weekend so she can get her money back. Well it isn't happening. We had been friends for 20 years, I was her bridesmaid and now that she has younger and more exciting friends she can't be bothered with me. Rant over. I am so angry with her right now.
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I think that's being a bit neglectful if she's told a complete lie that you've then found out from the ex too.... I think u should call her bluff on the lie, just say u bumped into her ex and he brought up the conversation of the hen do and that he had told u about what he was gonna do with the kids that weekend, then say that ur alright to come then aren't u? And see what she comes up with then .... I don't think she can be classed as a proper mate if she's letting u down like this so late tho xx
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
Its tough when it happens. I think people dont understand when you are having your hen do just what it means to you as to them its just a night out.
I would tell her exactly how you feel and that you are not cancelling your night because she cannot attend. Explain you understand her predicament but that she is welcome to come but you will carry on regardless xxx
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary <3
CommentAuthorShazk
Kel i liek ur idea i think playuing her bluff is a good one and like siad she isnt really a good friend if does that and can lie to you like that x
How can she think you would cancell whole hen do just for her when she has hhad plenty of time to arrnaange things etc x
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthormillz090
I agree with Kel, call her bluff and see what she says.
I would also phone the hotel directly and see if you can cancel her one room without cancelling them all - i often have to do this for work and its normally fine. xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
I also agree with Kel call her bluff hun and see what excuse she makes up then xx
31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018
CommentAuthorVelcro
definately call her bluff!! But do it in person as she'll then be put on the spot
Are you away the weekend? You dont think she's picking new man over you do you? or that maybe he won't 'let' her go?
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorJenniferY90
I phoned the company that I booked it through and they have said I can only change the twin room to a single occupany as they are fully booked. it will cost me £68 for the whole room instead of the £72.50 it would have cost for both of us to stay in it. I have changed the room and will use the measly amount of money left over to cover some of the cost of the top and surprise items my friend has already bought. We have been friends for 20 years, I knew there was something wrong when she wouldn't come round to mine with the top money, she kept ignoring my messages, but I started messaging her about the top over a month ago, if she had said then that she wouldn't be coming then I would still be a bit put out by it but I would have understood and would have been able to give her her hotel money back. Instead she didn't say anything except that she didn't want a vest like everyone else, she wanted a t-shirt. Now I don't trust that she will even turn up to the wedding! I would love to call her bluff but I think it would cause me too much emotional pain to have her lie to me all over again. At least I know where I stand with her now, clearly 20 years means a lot less to some people.
CommentAuthorJenniferY90
Velcro, yes I think she is picking her new man over me, she has already done it many many times, leaving me stood in a pub by myself whilst she went off with him, cancelling nights out with me when I got to her front door because she didn't have a baby sitter but then bumping into her in town the very same night. Its a running theme! and she is an incredibly strong willed person and from the pictures I have seen of him and what I have heard about him, he couldn't stop an ant walking up a twig let alone stop her going out!
CommentAuthorOWB
I don't think its unfair to expect her to pay. My h2b had one guy drop out of his stag do, but he still paid the taxi fair.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthormillz090
Aw Jennifer its a shame after 20 years but i hope you walk away from her now, sounds like she has been taking the mick for a while now and maybe you need to tell her you are worth more and leave her to it. she sounds like she knows she can run back to you as has done in the past so stand up for yourself. I would be asking her to still pay for her top as she was coming originally xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorFionaR41
lets hope she realises what friendships are worth, before its too late for her to be without any.
I would go with Kel and call her bluff just to see what she has to say, then you would know once and for all where you stand with her and leave it with her to contact you.
It's taken a while to find my Prince
13th May 2011 we met, 26th May 2012 we got engaged
30th August 2014 we say "I do".
CommentAuthorsarah
Wedding make some people crazy, whatever the reason she really shouldn't be doing this to you. I hope you can get things sorted x
CommentAuthorNicoleee_x
aww hun i sympathise with u. it's always hard to cut off friends when you've known them so long, but from what you've described it doesn't sound like she's been much of a friend lately at all. I think you definitely need to confront her n see what she has to say for herself. xx
CommentAuthorAna40
Bit of a sad situation with your friend. I'd be tempted to mention what the ex said when you are both fave to face so you can gauge her reaction. However if you think that would upset you more maybe you should step away from her for a bit and see if she makes much of an effort to keep the friendship going. X
CommentAuthorVelcro
edited
Aw hun, it sounds like she's been taking advantage of you for quite some time, if the boot was on the other foot Im sure she would be outraged that you would stand her up. If you don't want to confront her, then I think I'd step right back and leave her to it (see if she actually bothers to make the effort with you), there's only so much crap you can take from a person - 20 years or not she doesn't sounds like she's ever really been a good mate to you tbh.
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorJenniferY90
Well I text her saying I had managed to change the hotel room but the £8 that I got back would be used to cover the top that I have already had made up for her so there was nothing that I could give back, and I am not lying to her, there physically is no way that I can give her any money back without being £71 out of pocket myself which I am not doing. Strangely she didn't reply. We are going to Alton towers during the day and she said she had already bought her ticket through clubcard vouchers so I text her this morning asking what she was going to do with this ticket and if she wanted me to buy it off her (still way way cheaper than paying gate prices) and yet again no reply. I think today is the line that probably brings our friendship to an end which is sad but actually will probably cause me less pain than being constantly let down by her. I have plenty of other true friends who have shown their worth over the past couple of years and I am very grateful to them all for that.
CommentAuthorVelcro
you shouldnt have to give her any money back regardless, so I wouldn't worrry about it. For her to expect to get her money back and allow you to go out of pocket from her own decision is downright rude, Id just pay what I owed/lost my deposit if i couldnt make something that we had planned.
Its a shame to throw away 20 years, but its ot you doing it, it's her x x
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
