Ok here is my dilemma and I could really do with some help.
I'm getting married in 3 months and so far my Mother and Father have done absolutely sweet F A towards the wedding. Not even paid 99p for an Usher's sock!!
Now do I buy a thank you for them or not?
My friend said that you only give gifts for those who have paid into the wedding fund.
Thing is, with my Mother, she'll get the a**e if I buy for my MIL and not her. Even though my in-laws have virtually paid for this wedding all by themselves (what stars).
I don't usually care what she thinks but I don't want her spoiling her and my H2B's big day.
What does everyone thing on this situation? xxxxxx
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
I bought for my parents but not his - they were not fussed we didnt buy for them even though they contributed a heck of a lot of money whereas my parents couldnt afford to. Their gifts were more a gift from me to them rather than from us.
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary <3
CommentAuthorLisaT18
i wouldnt buy them anything. they havnt helped you out and the whole idea of thank you gifts are to thank people for helping
CommentAuthorRachaelC80
I'm buying for H2B's parents even tho they haven't given us any money towards the Wedding?? Tho, they'll be giving us money for our Wedding present??
My parents have helped quite a lot.
Didn't want to make them feel left out?? It'll only be a small something??
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
I'm not sure, maybe buy flowers and present them at the meal for both sets of parents. That way you don't have to worry about getting a gift for your in-laws? xx
I wouldn't present them a thank you for helping wit the wedding, but perhaps something to recognize that they're your parents? I was at a wedding where the b2b parents paid for everything ang h2b mom still got flowers - they were both given as gifts to mum rather than thank yous.
CommentAuthornatalie2614
I've bought my mum a present and my dad his suit. His dad hasn't bothered with us and his mum helped us a little bit so I've bought her flowers along with my mum to give in the night time. Doesn't look so arkward then xx
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorKatherineR45
my Mum has helped loads and my OHs parents haven't but they did help us out when we 1st moved house. I see the present almost as a 'thank you' for making us who we are so we've been able to get to this point so we have got both sides a present x
CommentAuthorsarah
CommentAuthorMrsEminson2B
we have ended up buying for both sets of parents - mine have helped out loads but Matt's mum and dad cannot afford to contribute towards the wedding xx
Met Matt at 10 years old
Marrying him at 27 years old
I can't wait to be Mrs Eminson on the 8th June 2013
CommentAuthorMichelleB2b
I wouldn't bother getting presents for people who have not contributed anything towards the wedding. If you are worried about getting mil a gift I would go ahead and get one for her but give it to her in private at some point before the wedding and explain the situation.
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
It's a tough one... I also thought presents were to thank them for any help they've given.... Ie best man, moh, bridesmaids,ushers...they've all given their time to help you achieve the big day, and if parents have helped with the funding, then they've taken some financial strain off the both of you, but if they haven't helped in either of those ways, either financially or emotionally, or even physically helped then I don't see why they should be rewarded for everyone else's participation x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorMrsMoran
It is a tough one hun, I mean to me the point of the presents to parents for wedding was to not only say thanks for helping with wedding, but thanks for support through the time planning wedding and even for their help and support prior to getting engaged, like a "thank you for being there for me" kind of thing xxx if you feel they haven't done any of this, then I'd say there's no point getting them gifts because it's like saying here's a gift for doing nothing xxx
CommentAuthorJillianL47
We're giving them to both. We feel it's better to treat both sets equally.
CommentAuthorZeeMee83
Thank you ladies, all your answers have helped alot!!
My OH has said don't bother with them as they haven't had any input at all with the wedding, emotionally, financially or physically or anything really. To be honest they never even said congrats when we got engaged!! And they REALLY hate him so I didn't think we'd get anything from them anyway.
He said they should think themselves lucky their even invited and that they'll get a thank you favor for coming just like all our other guests.
In a way I think he's right :-) xx
CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
Buy for your in laws they virtually paid for your wedding and your parents haven't contributed anything you know what to do =D ♥ X
Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college <3 X
Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together <3 X
To be Mrs Lana Jocelyn Deaton on 23.10.2015 5 years the day
Jamiroquai Arthur Gordon Deaton Born 29/05/2015 My Son Jammy
CommentAuthorSarahR582
We were having the same sort of dilemma. His mum and step dad and my dad and step mum are helping us quite a lot financially, my mum has also helped us out and been great. His dad however has done nothing, not contributing financially is fine as we don't expect it from anyone but he doesn't even really acknowledge the fact we're getting married other than to moan that he has to buy a new suit! We weren't sure what to do present wise but have decided to get him something too because I don't want him feeling embarrassed or left out on the day (although h2b thinks it will make him realise he should've been more involved if we leave him out! But I can't bring myself to do it) xx
CommentAuthorKimD7
I had the same dilema as she has paid nothing at all though I know she has paid for the rooms at the travel lodge for the rest of my family includign my neice and their boyfriends and outfits for my sisters children so I am a lil miffed but all I hear is after paying out for so much recently she cna not help us at all... We have bought her a a token gift of a huge tray of toffee ...we have gone for very individual gifts ...
CommentAuthorTori
I think you might have a bit of an awkward moment if you buy for one set of parents but not the other. It may come across as you making a public announcement that your parents haven't contributed. Could you perhaps give your OH parents their thank you gift in private?
CommentAuthorZeeMee83
Change of plan ladies....... I have decided to NOT buy for my parents as my so-called Mother made it perfectly clear to me that she doesn't wanna know!!
I cried, was angry and now.. well I just think she's doing me a favour coz I can spend my hard earned money on better things than having to buy her something that she'd probably just trash to be honest.
Roll on the next 70 odd days xx
CommentAuthorlouise5
iv brought for the whole bridal party and iv not had help off anyone! i brought for my partners parents, my parents, my sister,brother inlaw, our five children, my ushers which are my nephews,my niece as bridesmaid, i got the mums a engraved vase,there also getting flowers, i got the dads engraved pocket watches, bridesmaids 9ct gold engraved necklaces, ushers got tickets for go carting, our children got tickets for lego land and an engraved lucky coin each, x
"MUMMY OF FIVE AND PROUD"
"GOING TO MARRY MY BEST FRIEND 1ST JUNE 2013"
"HAVING A BIG PINK-WHITE-SPARKLY WEDDING"
"THIS YUMMY MUMMY LOST 5st FOR HER BIG DAY"
CommentAuthorFinally Susan B
My mother has done nothing towards our wedding (she never does in any situation) but I couldn't stand the awkwardness if we hand out thank you's to other halfs mum, my sister etc and not my mum. It might make my mum feel bad but for sure it would make me feel worse so we'll get her something inexpensive as a token
CommentAuthorZeeMee83
Sorry I've been away for ages. Life is preety hectic now I only have 2 weeks to go (EEKKKKK!!!!) On a plus note I didn't have to make a decision in the end....... both my parents have decided to abandon me on my big day!! I cried and now i'm fine with it. It's their loss but thank you all for your views, it really helped at the time xxx
CommentAuthorLauraM9144
WHAT? that is awful! poor you but im glad you have dealth with it in your way :( hope your day is still perfect and you're right its their loss.
One BIG day will lead to lots of little happy days !!
CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
O know how awful! Hope you are ok?? You will be starting your new married life together and your H2B is all you need really :) xxx
