Wedding Forum - Wow!...

So today my partner comes back from his parents, Mother's Day... Saying that his parents want to help with the wedding...

We originally budgeted £15,000 excluding honeymoon, and my dress, the bits I w a taking care of. Even within this budget we have struggled and had to cut back to make savings to spend elsewhere.

This wedding was always self funded, I had always known that my parents couldn't afford to help out, and I certainly wasn't expecting anything from my partners parents either, but today, theyhave told him they want to give us £5,000 towards the wedding!!

It made me cry, I can't believe how generous they have been.

Now I know my parents can't afford to help out and I have never had an expectation. Is it wrong for me to not mention this support to my parents. I don't want them to feel under pressure to help out, when I know they don't have the finances.

Equally... Will I now need to change the wording on my invites, not yet written, just drafted?

I had worded, Ms Jennifer Frances, and Mr James William along with their parents request the honour of your presence
at......

I don't mind changing it at all, but again I don't want to make it obvious to my parents that there has been a contribution, especially as it is so large.

I am eternally grateful and it does mean that we can save £5,000. I do not envisage using this in addition to what we had budgeted originally.

What would you do?

i have to say i wouldn't be mentioning the amount ...why not say his parents have offered to help you with the wedding just not how ....get your parents involved with maybe sourcing the favours for you etc

as for the invitations why would you change anything you are still inviting people along with your parents .....

Aww that is soo lovely.. very happy for you. It's a tricky situation with the invites but I would say the best thing to do is ask your parents. We are paying for our wedding but I spoke to my mum and dad about the invites and they said ideally they would want to have their names on the invites and I checked with h2b and he is more than happy. It is a tricky one it's so hard not to upset anyone.

That's it, it's an amazing offer, I don't want to offend either party. My mum has been great, she's seen the venue, been dress shopping with me, is coming to the florists to help me, and has helped with invites and ideas, so she's defiantly included, which I wanted, neither parents have imposed, or said we need to do things in any particular which is great, I like the wording, on the invites at the mo, as it mentions loosely both sets of parents... Wording on invites when you read into it there is a lot of meaning behind it, which I never knew before planning.

I think I may leave a few weeks, maybe months, before I mention it, my mum I guarantee will press me for how much has been offered.

You're still hosting the wedding so I would have your names on the invite, not sure if your parents or his parents names should actually be on the invitation at all... It's a bit of a minefield invitation wording.

to be honest with you, i think that you are already mentioning his parents....
"Ms Jennifer Frances, and Mr James William along with their parents request"

I feel that it is up to you if you mention it to your parents or not, personally, i wouldnt. my family cant afford to help out but my grandparents want to even tho i know they do not have the finances, h2bs parents are much better off but have not offered and we will not be asking. the way we see it is... no one should feel obligated to help.... we will be making a special personal thankyou to any financial helpers after the wedding is over and in private. we dont feel that its anyones elses business who paid for what.