I am in a bit of a predicament as I have ten, yes ten, bridesmaids! I am going to struggle in my wedding budget to be able to cover the costs of all their dresses (especially as I have failed to find reasonably priced ones as yet) and am not sure what to do.
I did have an idea that I could say that either they pay for them and keep them, or I pay for them and then sell them afterwards. But I'm not sure how realistic an idea that is now.
Any ideas would be VERY much appreciated! :-)
CommentAuthorVelcro
I think you should just try to get them together and ask for suggestions? maybe paying half each...? im not sure who would keep the dress after that though.
You could hire them?
I think as long as you're not saing you must wear this and that and blah blah then its more reasonable to ask them to pay but you will have to expect that they might not all be willing to all pay for the same dress out of their pockets, especailly if they wont wear them again, its quite tough with having so many as theres no way youre going to please them all....
The thought of paying for 4 is killing me, never mind 10 haha
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Hi, I have 4 adult bridesmaids and 3 flowergirls, my adult bridesmaids are paying for their own dresses... Mainly because we just haven't got it in the budget to pay ourselves...she who must not be named gave me a quote of £78 a dress for a dessy dress which retails at £250... Trying to keep the cost down cos they are paying... I'm paying for the hair, shoes and accessories tho x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorVelcro
Im doing mine the other way round, il buy the dresses, but they will be paying for the hair shoes and accessories themselves
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
edited
i gave my girls a budget of £90 per dress each and they had to find something in that budget or if it went over they had to put to it.
I managed to find two dresses for £80 through a catalogue online so i said right well with the money that is left i will pay towards your acessories, got there shoes for two pairs for £20 so i said okay then i will put towards your hair and make up
the budget just for my make up was £150 it came in at £35 on the day for each of us so i paid for the jewellery and make up on the day, they paid for there trials
possibly do that give thema budget and let them find the dresses anything over the budget they pay for
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
My bms paid for their own dresses. They were only £65 and gorgeous. I did pay for a lot of their other accessories tho.
CommentAuthorMel D
We paid for our BM dresses and their make-up. Also some jewellery as it was part of their gifts ... but they paid for their own hair and shoes if they bought some especially for the day, but I don't think they did.
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorMrsM
I have 5 bridesmaids and i am the same as doesnt really fit into my budget, i spoke to the girls for suggestions and they were all happy to pay for their own dresses as they wanted to keep them afterwards x
CommentAuthorMrsWright290912
We had 2 BMS and a MOH. we paid for all their dress (MOH's was 15 off 3bay and BMs were 10 each off am@zon) and their flowers but they paid for anything extra x
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary <3
CommentAuthorbarbie86
IMO if you want something specific, you need to pay in full. Though I see no issue with selling the dresses after, particularly as it's unlikely they'll wear them again (I've yet to see a BM dress that I personally would choose to wear again).
If you don't mind what they wear, and are happy with them not matching/co-ordinating then I think it's fine to ask them to get their own, as they can always wear something they already have, so don't need to spend money if they don't want to.
In our case, we're giving ours £100-150(undecided yet) to spend on a dress of their choice; my only stipulation is that they aren't revealing (ie not mega-short or low-cut). If I wanted something specific, I'd pay in full.
CommentAuthorChelseyfj
i didnt buy proper bridesmaids dresses, I went to quiz and got 4 dresses at £30 per dress, they still look lovely :)
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
I have 6 BMs and I was anticipating paying about £100 per dress, but my MOH has offered to make them, which means I will only need to pay for material. Do you know anyone who knows how to make dresses who might do it for a gift?
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorKistHall
What do they need to look like? Because it might be that a trip to somewhere on the highstreet etc might find something affordable and pretty, but they probably wouldn't have the traditional more formal look to them?
CommentAuthormillz090
I think you need to talk to them first and see if they are happy with that.... i personally think its rude to ask someone to be your bridesmaid but expect them to pay for their own dress especially if you are picking the dress and could be expensive for them. They also may not choose to wear that dress again so alot of money for them for one day. However some bridesmaid are happy with this so speak to them and see what they think. You have chosen to get married not them so you should be covering the costs and if you cant then maybe have less bridesmaids?
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorInDreamland
This can be a difficult one. Partly the reason I am only having two (I don't want too many anyway) plus one FG. Just those 3 are setting me back over £500 including all the alterations. I'm not paying for shoes, they're supplying their own.
It's hard as I totally understand 10 is expensive to pay for, however, if I was asked to pay for my own BM dress I wouldn't be too happy, especially as its unlikely you could wear again, also BM's may begrudge paying for something that they do not have 100% control over colour, style etc.........
I like the idea of paying for them and then selling them on afterwards.
Have you looked on the bay for cheaper BM dresses? There are loads on there so check it out if you haven't already done so.
If you're BM's are financially in a good position they may not mind paying 50% if you set a strict limit to how much the dresses will be.
Some high street stores can do nice dressy dresses. Have you looked at Qu!z?
xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorJEm1905
Last time around we paid for it because we only had to pay for one. This time we will be having more but will still end up paying for them lol as they will all be very young. If they are working they should pay towards them at least x
Got together - 19th May 2009
Our Civil Partnership - 19th May 2012
Waiting to re-Marry my Princess Legally
<< My Gorgeous Little bubba Lola <3
CommentAuthorMichelleB2b
Thank you for these comments, they have been very helpful. I know it may seem a bit extreme having so many, but I only intend on doing this once, so I want to include people who are special to me. I have five best friends, my half sister who lives in Australia, and four little ones. They are all very different and the main thing is I want them to be comfortable on the day so I am not going to be one of these brides that want to control everything that they wear and how they have their hear and accessories. I want them to be themselves and enjoy what they wear. I'm even happy for them to choose from one of two colours and have a mixture of both styles (not necessarily traditional bridesmaid so they could wear it after) and colours. The main thing for me is that they are given the role and they know that means they are my lay-deez!
I'm not trying to be rude by asking them to be bridesmaids and then wanting them to pay, I am just trying to work out what the right thing to do is before we go ahead with things. I don't want to upset anyone, but I need to be realistic about my budget. It's not like I'm trying to make them pay having asked them, I just asked so I could see what people do these days.
I am happy to be flexible in where the dresses come from so as to save money. Although one of my bridesmaids would love a £250 dessy job and pushes me all the time on that - she even started trying one on when I was searching for a wedding dress! I've seen some good prices on some American websites for bridesmaid dresses but am not sure how good they are. It might be difficult using the high street stores as one of my bridesmaids is a plus size and so that makes it more difficult getting them all something from the same shop so I thought online would be best.
Since seeing all these replies I think I will either buy them and sell them after, or make a contribution to all of them and set a tight budget.
CommentAuthorVelcro
Something as simple as googling bridesmaid dresses will help as well, im gunna get mine as cheap as I can, probably get them made in timbuktoo or something haha.
I only really want a simple chiffony tea length dress for my girls though, so even checking the high street, tkmaxx etc might bring something up for you
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorMrsK2b
We paid for our three BM dresses. You could always hire them or say to them that they have a set amount of money to get a dress with. Or they could pay for the dress and you pay for hair and make up.
I would sit down with your H2B and work out a budget and then speak to them.
Cant wait until I become Mrs K
CommentAuthormillz090
Oooo yes you could hire them.... a wedding dress shop near us did hire for £80 a dress which isn't bad as full length too. Check all high street stores and online and just keep your eyes open. i found mine for £30 each online and perfect but took some finding.
Good luck xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrsA-J
traditionally i think you pay....my friends are paying for theres tho as I explained I had alot...nothing compared to 10 though! lol is that including flower girls or arent you bothing with those? We just got something of the highstreet. £30 per dress and its somwthing they can reuse. xxx
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
If you try and keep costs suitable, then you can ask them to see how they would feel about buying them. That way they have them for after as well for whatever reasons. My MOH had a lovely knee length halter neck dress which she paid for and she kept. Her sister is now getting married and she is MOH for her and her colour scheme is the same so she may get another use out of it.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorMichelleB2b
MrsA-J Yes that is including flower girls, I'm calling them bridesmaids as well.
I think from the comments it will be a good idea for me to have some possible dresses lined up for them to choose from. That way I can ensure they are the right price regardless of who pays for them.
CommentAuthorMrsA-J
Oooo thats ok then! haha I was imagining about 15 in total! haha ive got 5 adults and 3 lil ens so only 2 off you! Im paying for the little ens tho!
I think thats the best idea deffinatly. All mine told me the max. I did have one that was determined to go over the max price but i put my foot down. Especially cos I loved the dress they have :D
CommentAuthorMrsRatcliffetobe
I only have the one BM and She's paying for her own dress and shoes. I found a gorg dress for her on the bay (£25) and she had no problem paying for it herself. I felt a bit mean but the groomsmen are all paying for their own suits so it only seemed fair to ask the BM to do the same x
First date - 17th July 2004
Daughter born - 12th February 2008
Proposed - 25th December 2012
Getting Married - 18th October 2014
CommentAuthorStacyT
im paying for the dresses and hair, they are paying shoes and make up. i will get them a gift of jewellery too. i dont intend on paying more than £50 a dress though, cheaper the better really as we are on a tight budget, but personally i couldnt ask someone to be my bridesmaid then say, oh can you pay your own way. each to their own though x
Cant wait to become Mrs Ellerington!!!!!
CommentAuthorFee
check which bridal shops in your area are having smaple sales and get yourself an invite i believe these can save you a fortune on the cost of the dresses as these are one off sizes .. good luck x
CommentAuthornatalie2614
I'm stuck here because one B&M has paid half towards her dress and bought her shoes etc, the other hasn't paid anything towards her dress and it was slightly more expensive (both bought brand new from the bay same dress tho). She is yet to buy shoes. My mum is paying for all the hair and make up and I've bought their hair accessories.
If she doesn't give me anything towards it ill be taking it back and selling it. Sounds harsh but at £125 I can't let her get away with it when the other BM paid towards hers. Difficult!
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorJoanneM54
Look on ebay hun cheap dresses brand new made from china absolutly gorge n good quality n priced or go on jenjenhouse . Com sales every three days or something like ghat 50% or 70% off n some times free shipping xx
CommentAuthorJoanneM54
edited
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CommentAuthorLianneH
I am bridesmaid for my friend in July, I have paid half but I am also paying for hair. I was happy to pay half xx
Together since January 2010
Engaged Christmas 2011
Nearly Lost My Soul Mate January 2012 through car accident
Can't wait to be Mrs Coyle!
CommentAuthorMRS B to Be
I am struggling with this also. I have 4 1 of which could probably pay the rest would struggle. i just dont feel right asking them to fork out for dresses because i want them to wear them. i have set a budget of £125 each and said that if they want anything more expensive they can pay the remainder. if its less they can use the rest for accessories
CommentAuthorJEm1905
BM.jpg
Our BM dresses are $29.99 so we intend to pay for them, going to get something made or make similar for the little people :)
Got together - 19th May 2009
Our Civil Partnership - 19th May 2012
Waiting to re-Marry my Princess Legally
<< My Gorgeous Little bubba Lola <3
CommentAuthorjoey86
My bridesmaids are buying their own dresses and i made this clear to them from the start that our budget wouldn't stretch to cover it and they were all fine with it. However, although I specified the colour, I told them that I wasn't bothered as to the style nor was I going to freak out if they wore slightly different shades of purple. If I had a specific idea of what I wanted them to wear I wouldn't have asked them to pay for it. However, you can always ask and come to a compromise on half-half?
In terms of finding actual dresses, I don't know what you're after but the highstreet is always a good place to start? I've seen tons of bridal blogs/magazines where the bride found lovely dresses from all sorts of places so I'm sure you'll find something to suit budget and your girls :-)
CommentAuthorJennyHeather
I've got 1 BM I think if I'm paying for it then I better give her a budget for the dress since she's 17 and she'll look for something way over priced lol!!
Best get her down to Pr****k lol.
CommentAuthorFrancescaJ
hiya i have 7bms so also got in a bit of a pickle over paying for the dresses, althoug my bms all said they would be happy to pay of their own dresses i didnt feel comfortable with it so we came to an agreement between us where i said i will pay £50 and anything over they are going to pay for themselves. i have yet to find dresses aswell but hopeing i may find some in the sales when we get to them xx
got together 25.07.2008
go tengaged 25.10.2009
due to become mrs knapp 13.09.2013
CommentAuthorMrs Ashman2b
I'm only having a MOH as its a really small doo, but i have asked if she minded paying for her own and she was fine with that i told her what the them was and said that i'd be happy with whatever she chooses to wear so long as it wasn't white or ivory!! :0)
CommentAuthorKimD7
I have bought the dresses...but 3 of them are my daughters/step daughter. I bought them in Debenhams sale.
CommentAuthorRebeccaP2
Couldn't you just give them a theme, or colour and tell them to buy any dress they like?
CommentAuthorsarah
Good point Rebecca. I feel that if you let them choose then it's ok to ask them to pay for most if not all of the dress.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i like the ... give them a colour and length idea and let them buy their own... then it is up to them what they pay as they are more likely to wear it again
Hmm I'm liking this option too, I have said to my BM about the colour and she said she wanted a shorter length dress so maybe I could ask her mum to possibly buy it.
CommentAuthorsuzky123
we only paid because we were very specific and at £300 each we thought it was steep to ask them. If you are happy to let them have a say and dont make them too dear than maybe try and ask them to pay or at least a contribution?
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorBrideInTraining
mine will be paying for their own apart from the children. ive just made sure ive found reasonably priced ones around £50 x
CommentAuthorKristina
I think you should get together with your bridesmaids and see what you can do together, i.e paying half each that kind of things. I only have a MOH so i am paying for her dress.
Met: 1st February 2014
Engaged: 1st June 2014
Getting Married: 31st December 2014
CommentAuthorJackieFC
I've paid for their dresses and the alterations :) I'm also paying for their hair. They are paying for their own shoes and make up if they want it x
CommentAuthorRoxanneG96
i asked my bridesmaid to pay and she found a dress on amazon she is going to buy for 25 , i have found it on ebay for 13 . so i am thinking i will buy her it, as she was willing to pay for it, and she chose such a reasonably priced one i have now asked my sister to be bridemaid too, i havent even spoke to her about dresses yet
CommentAuthorAmyK
Found a great site that does some lovely looking BM dresses... I'll post the link on my wall if anyone is interested :-)
CommentAuthorKellyB81
Mine were paid for by my dad but my BMs are my sisters and my niece - still set a budget though and got them from she who must not be named for £150 for 2 x Have paid for my dress when I have been a BM before I think if its reasonable people wouldn't mind x
Kelly x
CommentAuthorKarenT51
I haven't read all of your messages but have you considered having them in different dresses? Choosing a theme or colour but all different? I've seen some amazing galleries of weddings with 8/10 bridesmaids all in different dresses but with some sort of theme & it looks fantastic! I have 8 bridesmaids & I am having them all in cream lace dresses, different styles, slightly different shades, which I bought all from eBay! The cheapest one I bought was £4.27 & most expensive was £15 & they all look amazing together!! I'm not sure you can ask bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses unless of course they offer. I will be asking my bridesmaids to sort out their own hair & jewellery. Good luck x
