We are just finalising the guest list at the moment and I am already having a melt down, my older 1/2 sister (who my brother I hardly know, because of her lack of interest when we were growing up - she never visited and we visited her like once every year/every other year until our late teens then maybe once or twice in the last 10 years) has stuck her oar in and caused my just come back from Afghanistan (half way to a mental breakdown) brother to flip, resulting in a family fall out, aaahhh!!! So she has been uninvited (she had already as good as said she had more important things to do) and my brother is well in my extreme bad books and the only reason I have not told him to stick it is: a) he is my only brother b) our mum would be devastated (he really upset her but he is her little boy) c) my nieces and nephew (I adore the wee monsters) but at the moment I can not even consider talking to him as he went much to far this time and though I know its a lot to do with what he went through in Afghan, it is really pushing it for me to forgive him right now.
Making it worse, despite it being a minor thing, a lass a work says she probably will not go as she cannot be bothered with weddings (never even went to her brother's), this probably wouldn't of bothered me as much if it had not come straight after the family fall out and also the following: - One of my friends says she is can not come back from Australia until the month after the wedding - one of our best friends can not come as his missus double booked them at another wedding which is an already paid for sit down meal (ours is a buffet) and he tried to get it so he could come to mine and she go to her friends but they are having a baby in a couple of months and she does not want to travel on her own with a newborn (understandable), but after he told me I was in tears on the way home - I kind of had a list of our closest friends that would definitely be coming and were most important and he was one of them.
So now I keep dreading someone else I sent save the dates to saying they cannot come and dread even more the invites going out in March.
I know people have prior arrangements or more important things going on or hate weddings but well I feel a bit selfish about this as its our big day and I want them all there!!
My goodness though I am from a large extended family I already know only about 1/4 will likely come and well that does not bother me any where near as much as not having my close family and friends there :(
Kind of wishing a bit now that we just decided to get married abroad with just a few people there to stop all the hassle and drama, ah well.
Rant over
CommentAuthorMrs Ashman2b
awww i feel for you i had my meltdown yesterday over my oldest friend ditching my wedding for a competition his wife had entered after the save the dates had been sent out! i was so upset yesterday i told my h2b that i didn't want to send any invites out now because we're having such a small wedding that people saying no really means people i want there wont be! just try to remember that its your and h2b's day and it will be magical for you because those people who really care for you will be there with you =)
CommentAuthorCat
thank you : )
I always thought I would be one of those calm doesn't mind sort of brides after being with my H2B for 10 years and never understood why everyone got so worked up about it, but I can now see why people get so stressed.
CommentAuthormadhen
It's kinda weird the way there seem to be patterns of things on here! Just logged on and read your post Cat and also yours Mrs Ashman2b. Am having similar issues at the mo. Loads of my friends went to live in Australia or NZ and I know it's a long way but I gave them sooooo much notice about the wedding. Anyway now it looks like three or four of them won't be able to make it. I know I'm being unreasonable in a way, it is a heck of a journey, but I can't help feeling a bit down about it. One of them even said she'd chosen to come home in July for a family thing rather than in September for me - which was fine and she should've just left it at that because then she said "and anyway, we won't have a proper catch up at your wedding cuz it's a wedding and there'll be loads of people there so we can maybe meet up when I'm around in the Summer". Hmm....yeah ok it's a wedding but it's the only blinkin wedding I'm intending to have and it'd be nice to have some friends there!! Am just feeling a bit cheesed off. Another friend got married last year and I remember talking to her about all the people being so far away and she said she knew it sounded bad to say, but they chose to emigrate so far away from home at a time when all our friends were getting to the point of getting married, so did they not think they might have to make the effort to come home... I dunno. No easy answer I suppose :(
CommentAuthorCat
Grr I know it feels a bit like trying to maneuver an army rather than getting everyone I care about too my wedding
Yip. And when it's people you really wanted there you get a sort of flat feeling that makes you wonder why you're bothering at all!
CommentAuthorCat
strangely when I get annoyed about it all the song from the movie Problem Child called 'Its my Party and I'll Cry if I want to' always gets stuck in my head : )
CommentAuthormadhen
Haha! Maybe get the crying over and done with before the big day....! ;)
