Wedding Forum - Church wedding help...

hi, i was hoping someone could shine a light on an issue me and my fiancee are facing.

We would love to have a church wedding, and we have been to see a few churches. We recently paid a deposit on one which we loved and that was in the same area where her parents live, and was accepted by the reverend as my fiancee used to live in the same area for a number of years .

Me and my family are raised catholics but i will be honest in saying I'm not very religious any more as a 'practising Catholic' but my parents and grandparents are. My fiancee classes herself as an atheist or a 'nothing' as she calls it. As her parents are not very religious and did not raise her to follow a certain religion.

The big issue is that the church we have booked is a Protestant church. This was something which passed by me and i have no answer for why i did not ask. The reverend didn't ask us what religion we were either and said a marriage ceremony there would be fine.

Im just really concerned now if this is a major issue. Is it frowned upon? i really don't want to upset my parents or grandparents. Also will this have any further implications, I've seen on some websites that the marriage would be void. Also would it affect us if we decide to have children in the future as to what religion we raise them to follow.

My fiancee is under the impression that it will be fine as her parents were married in a protestant church and they were both non practicing catholics.

Could anybody help me with this, wether you have any past experiance similar to this, or any advise to offer.

We are not getting married until april 2014 so we have time to ammend this if its more serious than we thought.

Thanks for your help

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Your best asking your family...

and maybe going to the church and checking its ok! Telling him you didnt realise/know but youd still love to get married there...
he might have to pull some strings...
it really depends on the vicar.
One church we went to was very strict and said hed have to christen me and id have to go to church and me accepted into the church group and when all that had happened hed marry us-luckily i didnt want that church anyway.

xx

As far as I know, it's not illegal to get married in a church if you are not of that religion. Some people may think it is disrespectful, but I'm pretty sure there are no legal implications in it.

I'm Catholic and getting married in a Catholic church (H2B is Methodist but not practising).

For me (and other Catholics) it is important to get married in a Catholic church to be married in God's eyes. We'd be considered married by the Church as well as legally. We usually get married in our local Parish church unless there is a reason/connection to another Church in a different Parish (normally a family history connection, not just because we think one looks "prettier" than another as is sometimes the case).

If you and your OH choose to marry in a different denomination church and the priest/vicar/reverend is happy to marry you, the marriage will not be void (legally) and in the eyes of that denomination you will be married too. So you really don't need to worry about that. Just ensure either your BANNS are read or you give notice at your local registry office and there is a registrar at the ceremony for the legal bit.

The complications may come at a later date if you decide you want any of your children baptised in the Catholic church. It doesn't sound like either of you would be interested in that at the moment but you never know if the future you may change your mind, it's incredible how people change their minds as they get older ;)

I think your biggest challenge may be your family if they do not approve of a non-RC but only you will know them well enough to know how they will react. At the end of the day though, parents/grandparents should respect your choice to marry wherever you choose.

Good luck and don't worry x

Cracking post InDreamland, says it all :)

Glad you've worked it all out now :) xx

@indreamland just wonsering why would he need a registar there at the church? wouldnt the vicar marry him? im only asking as im getting married in a church too

I was just wondering also, what does it matter between marrying there and then subsequent christenings? If they hadn't married and had children, what happens with the christenings then? I didn't think it would matter either way...?

Sorry Ladies, just got back on the site. Thanks for answering for me LinziJo :D - good answers xx