I am just trying to sort a budget out and my bridesmaids are costing me a fortune!! Is it rude of me to ask them to pay for their own hair/make up and shoes??? I am paying for the dresses, flowers, presents obviously and also a limo.
Thanks
CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Hi :)
I dont think it is! We are paying for their dresses & Accessories. Theyve all agreed to pay for their hair & make up and buy their own shoes to help me out :)
Hope this helps xx
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Definitely not. My MOH paid for her dress, her hair, her make up and her shoes. I got her flowers and her necklace/ear rings.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorlizzylou
edited
Hey, cost really does mount up doesn't it!! I don't think it is rude but I think if they have to get there own hair/make up or shoes I think they should get the choice of what they get and so how much they spend. Personally I think if you want them all to have the same thing exactly then really you should pay for it, otherwise you might be insisting on a really expensive pair of shoes that one of them can't really afford.
I was a bridesmaid last year and I was quite happy to pay for my own shoes as we had long dresses that covered our feet and so the bride just said "get what you feel happy in - you can wear something you already have if it goes". It was great as I was able to choose a low is pair (i'm useless in really high heels) that was only £20 from the high street and two of the others wore some gold strappy sandals they already had. If I'd had been told " please go and buy this £65 pairs of shoes you'll probably never wear again" i'd have done it - but felt a bit resentful.
But that's just me, I think you are going to ask them to pay, you need to be mindful of what you are asking them to buy and potentially be a bit more flexible Other than that, I think it's fine to ask them to get a few bits themselves. xx
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
no not at all ... could you tell them the colour and let them get their own style?
We paid for my moh's dress and flowers, the bm's dresses and flowers. They all got their own shoes and did their own hair and make up and were more than happy to do so :o)
I really did marry my Mr Wright and we had a nice day for a
Wright wedding!
Mexico for our first anniversary <3
CommentAuthorShazk
Not at all I think lots of BM are willing to help out to be honest when I was BM i was asked if wanted make up done for me and pay or do it self and I chose to have it done, just explain u wished you could do it all but sadly u cant x
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthorEleanorR
The general rule is you can let them choose, or pay if you're forcing them to wear something specific. So if you're demanding they wear identical shoes to match their dress which they might never wear again, yes it is rude. If you're asking them to wear shoes they already have that they think will go, that's ok. Could they not do their own hair and make up if you can't afford it? That's what mine are doing and we're going in a taxi rather than a limo and no presents as we can't afford it so shoes which were £15 in sale didn't break the budget, lol. If they offer it's another question but I don't think you can ask someone to be a bridesmaid then demand they pay for it.
CommentAuthorLulu1388
No not at all, we've bought their dresses and am paying for hair and make up on the day, but if they want a trial make up run they can pay themselves...and not quite sure how shoes are working, whether to get them to buy it themselves or offer too.Depends if they already have, as EleanorR mentioned, if your expecting them to wear something specific then yes maybe might come across as rude but if its their own choice then no not at all! It wont be rude, weddings cost enough as it is and just because someone is MOH or BM or anything doesn't mean they should expect anything! they will completely understand you cant buy them the whole works!! x
Every Once In a While In The Middle of an Ordinary Life
. . . Love Gives Us a Fairytale. . .
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
if you are buying the frocks then it is only fair to ask them to pay for there hair and make up if they want nails doing then they pay for themselves.
I set a budget of what i would pay for the dresses which was £90 per dress anything over the agreed to pay, i managed to get both dresses for £80 so that was done, so with what was left i bought there accessories as well and still came in under what i had budgetted.
I then set myself a budget for my hair and make up but then i could get all 3 of us done for the budgeted price so i paid for them but they paid for there own nails
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorNearlyMrsFountain
Thank you so much for your help, I have chosen the dresses and they are Long so I don't mind what shoes they have. Xxxx
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
Sorry but having been a bridesmaid myself I would have thought it rude for the bride to demand I pay for certain things that she wanted me to have. I however gave her the money for my dress and shoes after she had paid the cashier, she did look like she was grateful for it and I made that my wedding gift to the couple. But what you must remember is this, you asked these people to be your bridesmaids therefore its up to you to pay. They may just give you the money for it of their own accord but it is rude to tell them they have to pay.
CommentAuthorButton-Bell
no no not at all bridesmaid expect to contrabute in some way most of the time anyway :) xx
CommentAuthorJillianL47
My bridesmaids are paying for their own shoes, but I am buying their dresses and paying for their hair. They will need to supply their own jewellery.
CommentAuthorbarbie86
For me it depends: if you want them to wear specific, matching shoes, and have specific hair and make-up, done professionally, then I think you should pay.
If you are happy for them to do their own hair and make-up, and wear shoes they already own, then no, I see no issue: if they then decide to have their hair/make-up done professionally, or buy new shoes, that's their choice.
We're giving mine £100 each towards their outfits. I'm easy-going and my only stipulations are that they don't wear something bum-skimmingly short, or very low-cut; which they won't anyway. I figure that £100 is enough to buy both a dress and shoes of their choice, so if they choose to spend more, that's up to them. Hair and make-up wise, they're all excellent at doing their own make-up (and are funny about having it done) as well as their hair (which they'll probably wear loose anyway); so again, if they want a professional hairdresser/make-up artist it'll be up to them to pay.
If however I was dictating that they had to have a certain hair-style and certain shoes, or professional make-up, I'd pay, as I don't think it's fair for someone to be out of pocket because of choices I've made.
CommentAuthorMrsShields2B
I agree that unless you want things done in a prticular way, it would not be rude. But i have another question. Would it be rude not to paye for my MILs makeup and hair? My h2b has just told me that she will be in the house with me when i am getting mine and my bridesmaids makeup done, and that it would be rude not to pay for her hair and makeup as well. My own mother has said she will be sorting herself out, but not sure if i should just go with it!!!!
CommentAuthorNearlyMrsFountain
Definately not rude mrsShields2b. As mil she should know you and h2b well enough that (if your anything like me) the budget is already at the max. And if your own mum is sorting herself so should she!!! Xxx
CommentAuthorMrsShields2B
Thanks NearlyMrsFountain! I don't like to upset anyone, but i'm starting to realise that in the next 10 months i'm going to have to say a lot of nos!!!!! xxx
CommentAuthorlizzylou
Oh the plot thickens! I hadn't even thought of the mothers!!! Glad you've brought this up!!
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorSoldier Wife to be!
Not rude at all hun!!!! i have 6 bridesmaids and am buying them stunning dresses that are over £120 each and they all LOVE them, eaach one of them has already said they wouldnt even expect me to pay 4 their hair and makeup and shoes. Iv asked my girls to look out for some flat sparkly sandals that they like, dont have to be identical because i want them to wear them again!! I am going to give them their own make-up masterclass and let them use my pro stuff and then give them the option of coming to the hairdressers with me in the morning :)
PLUS if they are your best friends as they should be as bridesmaids they wont care and will just be happy and honoured to be part of your day :) mwah xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Will be so proud to call myself a soldiers wife,
a wife of a true hero
CommentAuthorHelenW
no i dont think its rude. We are paying for dresses and im making all their jewellery, but asked them to provide shoes (as I want them to be comfortable!) I am providing flip flops for them for the evening as everyones feet start aching! Hair and make up i'm not dictating a style and when I asked them about their hair etc they were happy to pay for themselves or do it themselves.. I may pay for make up depending on the funds (just think its nice to spoil them!) but it really is dependant on the funds.. xx
"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary
life, love gives us a fairy tale"
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
edited
I don't think it's rude, providing they can chose what they like, or wear shoes they already own.
I'm not paying for any makeup or hair, all the people I've looked at don't seem to do it any better than what they could do themselves. Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
No I don't think it is rude at all hun. My best friend is getting married next August and has asked us to pay for our own. She is buying our dresses and paying for alterations and our jewellery is going to be our thank you present from her, but as far as hair and make-up go I will be doing all four of her bridesmaids as it is a hair style I often do on myself and she just wants natural make-up which I wear everyday. She has however bought my shoes but they are as a thank you for doing all the hair and make-up! I won't be paying for my bridesmaids hair and make-up either. Either they can do it or if they want it done professionally they can do it themselves, and I will let them wear whatever shoes they want as I wont be paying for them either (the budget just can't stretch that far!).
As for paying for the MIL, I have never heard of this and won't be paying for mine to have her make-up and hair done! My mum is getting hers done for the wedding but she is paying for it herself! xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
im hoping that my bms dont expect me topay for their hair and make up as im getting my cbm to do mine for me so we will probs all do own together anyway! i have got their accessories and will be buying their dresses although was being givcen two as presents but that has now fallen through so might have to lose 2 bms!! not happy!
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
i love you ry!!!
engaged midnight 2009
Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorTatty
I don't think it's rude at all. If my bridesmaids were all working I would have asked them to pay for their dresses but they aren't so I don't think it would be fair x
Love: A wildly misunderstood, although highly desirable,
malfunction of the heart.
37 Pounds down, 22 pounds to go! I will be a skinny bride!
28th March 2014 will be the day I marry my best friend.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
It's not rude at all.
I'm paying for their dresses and alterations, flowers, hair and make up but I expect them to provide their own strappy sandals and jewellery.
The costs can really mount up, especially if you have a lot of BM's, luckily I only have 2 adult BM's and 1 FG. xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorKathleenJ
Nah it isn't rude! Mine are paying / doing their own :) One of my maid of honours (I have 2 lol) is a hairdresser anyway so she can sort the bridesmaids out piece of cake! Might ask her to do mine too cos I know she would do it exactly how I want it.
But yeah they aren't offended. They expected it really. :)
CommentAuthorClareS
I've bought fabric for their dresses but they've chosen the style. I've bought shoes. They're paying for their hair and sorting their own makeup x
CommentAuthorMel D
Our bridesmaids paid for their own hair & shoes. I asked them to wear black shoes as I knew they wouldn't have to buy new shoes unless they wanted to, and then they were free to do what they wanted with their hair.
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorRosyF77
i dont think its rude at all. My bridesmaid has offered to pay for everything inc her dress xx
