We have a big problem, my other halfs best man has asked to drop out of being his best man. He is his only closest friend and doesn't want to do it cause he has issues with standing up and doing speeches. Do you think it would be bad if he still had him as his best man but didn't have to do a speech or does a best man have to do a speech? HELP !!!!!
CommentAuthorCrawf
I don't think it would be a problem at all not doing the speech - maybe your OH could pick one or two other friends, or relatives to do a speech? It wont look wrong or anything, it will even allow OH to have more people he loves having a big part in the day!!!
xx
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
The person who hubby wanted did not want to take on the best man duties either as he is not one for standing up and do speeches. He had his brother in the end but I honestly do not think it is a problem is he does not want to do them.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorRachaelC84
My partner does not have any brothers, his dad passed away 4 years ago. He has got a son who is 20 but he would not stand up either. He has got a lot of friends but none that he can call a best man only his friend who has backed out, i have my partner to ask him to be his best man but just not do a speech and my dad can do a speech and my partner. I just dont want it to look wrong.
CommentAuthorAmyP7
I agree, is there no one else who would do a speech? X x
Our best man didn't do a speech. Chris definitely wanted his brother as best man but knew that he would be terrified if he had to stand up and talk!!
So Chris and I stood up instead - Chris made a fantastic and funny speech and I said thank you and handed out presents. It went down really well and I don't feel like we missed out by not having a best man's speech.
xxx
CommentAuthorAmyK
These days it's brides doing speeches too, so all the old 'rules' about who gives speeches & who doesn't isn't applicable anymore. He could always collaborate with the other mates and get someone else to deliver the material on the day (make the bullets, but get someone else to fire them, so to speak, if it's going to be one of those groups of mates who can't wait to embarrass the groom). Perhaps it could be a blessing that no-one is going to be there doing the "one time we all got Sooooo drunk, we did x y z" and embarrass him in front of your guests and family
CommentAuthorDonda
Our best man isn't doing a speech, he just can't stand up in front of other people and make a speech. At first we were saying you got to make a speech, but after talking to a few people and feeling that we would rather have him as best man than him drop out because he can't do it. x
Met on 7th April 2008
Got engaged on 14th November 2011
Getting married on 12th December 2012
Looking forward to the rest of my life with the man I love
CommentAuthorRachaelC84
Yes thats exactly what my H2B is going to tell him, we would rather him be best man then not be all for him not wanting to do a speech
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I've been to a few where the best man didn't do a speech.
I think for most people, the speeches are the worst part of the day, particularly if they go on for hours xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorNicholaP44
I have been 2 a few weddings where the best man didnt do a speech. No 1 seemed 2 notice hun, the brides dad did a speech and the groom did 2. xx
Marrying "the 1" on 4th Oct 2013
CommentAuthorTori
I wouldn't worry about him doing a speech I would say its more important he is part of your day!
CommentAuthorlizzylou
I don't think it really matters. You get all sorts of people doing speechs now, long and short. It'll be fine. xx
Lizzy. x
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
I think that our best man might crack under the pressure of the dreaded speech too, and its understandable as the only people he will know at our reception is my fiancé, me and fiance's brother. The other 95 people will be complete strangers to him.
I'm having to think up other things just in case he decides not to do a speech, though I'm the bride and I'm sorry but there's no way I'm giving a speech as the thought of brides or even bridesmaids making speeches makes me cringe sorry but its just a personal opinion. I would ask fiancé's brother to do a speech but no one can ever hear him when he talks normally (seriously even my fi sits there saying "what? What?" All the time). So it's down to either asking one of my brothers to have a speech prepared in case he backs out, or to play a little game with the guests who are all mad anyway lol.
In my opinion if someone doesn't want to make a speech they shouldn't have to do it, but they don't necessarily have to step down.
CommentAuthorButton-Bell
if he has problems giving speeches you can always have someone else do it my H2Bs best man didnt want to give a speech so his brother is doing it instead now it means you get to have someone else feel special on the day and it takes some of the pressure off the BM
CommentAuthorloustew2012
our best man dropped out 5 weeks ago with no explination, h2b was gutted as he was a childhood friend and really wanted him there. but weve got a replacement and everything is fine now. as him again to be best man but maybe your moh could do a speech instead. our bestman and moh are doing a joint speech and apparently its hilarious. cant wait. xxx
All the ways of my life id rather be with you.
Theres no way without you.
10.11.12
CommentAuthorEleanorR
Could his mum do a speech? It might be better to have someone from his side but it really doesn't matter. We're just going to tell everyone on top table they can choose to do a (short) speech or not so noone feels pressured.
CommentAuthorNaomiH25
my H2B is having 2 best men mainly due to his best friend, ie '1st' best man, he suffers from cerebral palsy and has severe stutter/stammer. His '2nd' Best man (brother) is going to read '1st' Best man speech. might be a problem solved???
met in August 2003 - the year we finished school
back in touch on 19/1/11, finally got together on 27/3/11
Engaged on 30/08/12 during a Slash Concert in Perth
Mrs Dalby on 27/12/13
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
The speech is a small part of being best man, I've been to 2 weddings in the last couple of years where there were no speeches. I'm sure you'd all rather have your h2bs best mate play a part in your big day rather than an awkward speech. I think you should tell him that you'd still like him as best man and don't expect a speech. He'll be really touched that it means that much to you both.
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
Hey you never know he might just pluck up the courage to give a toast or something on the day and if not dont worry about it.
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
I think that too ill-be-36. Once the pressure is off he'll be chuffed to bits and after a few drinks he may get up and say a few words, even if its "raise your glasses to the bride and groom" it'll be great.
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
