So today it has been a month since he proposed. We were supposed to be off to see the vicar on Tuesday to book the church. We've held off the reception venue... I've found the dress...........
Tonight I get home from work and he is looking at finances and he says we won't be able to afford to do it. If we save what we need just for the venue each month, we will still be short at the time we'd need to pay it. He doesn't want to do it and owe anything afterwards. I don't want to wait another year. I'm 30 next year already. I want a chance to hit some big anniversaries. He wants to have a baby or 2 after we marry and we want a bigger house to do this. I feel like I'm running out of time to do it all. I don't want to have children in my mid thirties. I have a child already who turns 7 in January, the age gap is getting bigger and bigger.
I am just sat here in tears, I don't know what to do. The thing is it was HIM who said he wanted to marry in a year, HE said if need be he'd sell his motorbike and has now said he won't.
I am devastated. I know the reasonable thing is to wait, not expect him to sell his bike, not get into debt for it, but I just can't contemplate 2 years!!
Got together 3rd December 2008
Got engaged 22nd August 2012
Got married 23rd August 2013
CommentAuthorSam
I'm so sorry that you won't be able to have the wedding that you really want. A lot of ladies on here have been able to get married on a shoestring, and there are a lot of great posts on this. That said you'll be just as married if you head to the registers office instead of having a big do. I really hope you find a way to have the day you want. Where there is a will, there is always a way.
CommentAuthorTanya83
I won't get married at all if I can't have my church wedding. The church is where my dad is buried, so there is no alternative in my eyes. I honestly don't know what to do about the reception venue as that is where the cost is... I don't want to wait but I have also waited long enough that I don't want to have to not have the day I've dreamt of.... :( and I know that makes me sound spoilt and selfish.
Got together 3rd December 2008
Got engaged 22nd August 2012
Got married 23rd August 2013
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
I know exactly how you feel. This is the third try for me and H2B and so far so good. I know nothing me or any of the other ladies can say will feel like help at the moment. We were in exactly the same position, couldn't even afford a basic hotel package (1999.99 for 40 people) so we looked at something different. We are now having the wedding at a registry office because it costs just under double the amount to get a registrar out on a sat as it does to see them in the reg office. We then looked around the local area, and we are hiring out the local sports pavilion for £80 for the wedding day and the evening before. Catering is being done by a family friend, and lots of DIY work. All in all i don't think my wedding is even costing £1500!! it can be done...
as for the dress, just remember the bridal sales are just around the corner, have a look to see if your dress is included, or if any shops have a sample in your size. Sample dresses are always cheaper
My H2B suggested that we do it the smaller way, and then have a bigger do for a vow renewal, but TBH I wouldn't have it any other way now!
Just remember, the most important thing is the love between you and H2B so it doesn't matter how you do it, as long as those binding words are said legally in front of a minister/registrar
P.S Midweek/out of season weddings are a lot cheaper too
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
CommentAuthorNinaDawson
ok ignore the reg. office bit, but have a look for local non profit venues.... trust me!!
N xx
Became Mrs Dawson on the 8th June 2013 :)
Date twins: MrsEminson2B kirstyford
Expecting Mini D in July 2014 :)
Awww Tanya. So sorry you're disappointed. Hopefully you two will find a way.
You have two options that don't involve robbing a bank or winning the lottery.
Have your church wedding next year and find a cheaper reception venue, there are so many venues out there that don't cost the earth and remember what matters, sounds to me like it's the church that shouldn't set you back too much and just have a simple affordable reception, hire a community center hall, get a buffet in, hire a DJ and get help from family and friends to decorate, I'm sure you'll both still have a fantastic special day. A beautiful day can be done on a budget as so many ladies on here will tell you.
Alternatively, wait a couple of years to have the day you imagine to be what is your perfect ceremony and reception ..............I'll be 33 when we get married next year and totally understand your feelings on having children younger and sooner rather than later. However, there are so many ladies these days who get married and have kids later.
Remember, the most important thing is that you and your H2B get married. I hope you can both work out the perfect solution xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorSam
I don't think you sound spoilt or selfish. You thought you were able to have a wedding and now you can't. To add further pain to your situation your H2B offered to sell his bike and now he won't. I sincerely hope you find a solution & are able to have the wedding of your dreams.
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
Ok first off your never too old for ANYTHING! Ive just turned 35 and will be 38 when we eventually get married and we have a 3 year old son and hopefully planning another one before the wedding (I also have a 10 and 13 year old from my first marriage). We want all the hoopla of the big ivory wedding (h2b's first and only wedding) so to be able to do that we postponed alllll the way back to 1st November 2015 this way we get everything we want on the day without missing out on anything!
I'm afraid you have to comprimise on something hunni. The wedding you want at a later date meaning your that little bit older or the date you want on a smaller scale either way you'll be marrying the man you love and thats really all that matters not how old you'll be!
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorJill
Aww hun I know exactly how you feel, I turned 30 in April and had wanted everything done for turning 30 but it wasn't. I can only imagine how I'd feel to have to put it off and it's a bit sh!tty of h2b to say he'd sell the bike to fund it then not do it. Is there a church hall you could dress up? x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
Are there any other ways you can raise some money?
Maybe an eBay clear out, review all your outgoings, change utility suppliers etc...it's amazing what you can save. Do you or h2b have any skills that you could use to earn a bit of money on the side?
Maybe have a wedding later in the day so you only have an evening reception and not a sit down meal?
If this isn't an option, just try and relax a bit. You will understanderbly be very upset right now, maybe after a good nights sleep ings will look better in the morning? Xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorClareS
It sounds like the church is the most important bit to you so why not have a church do as late in the day as you can, by the time you've had you piccies you can just go straight into a night do with a buffet., saves on feeding people twice :) if you're determined on having a sit down meal with it then you're going to need to save. If you've written down a list of must have things, if you can't save the amount of money to cover them then you're going to have to delay. Both of you take time out from this and think about what's important to you and what things you'd really like/want. Don't stress about it. At the end of the day as long as you two are married, everything else doesn't matter x
