Wedding Forum - Ok so I've posted before but......

Ok so Luke and I did split up but then we went back on... just not to engagement again... I put the ring away for safe keeping praying it'd be worn again but now it looks like I'm gonna have to sell it...

We broke up seven weeks ago and he led me on for a few weeks saying he wanted us to get back together, thereby getting his end away without making it official if you see what I mean. I joked with him that if he left he'd have to pay maintenance and would be entitled to see our kitten only if he did.

BAD joke.

It turns out that I'm now six weeks pregnant...

Of course the cold b***tards first words were to tell me to get rid of it. I mean, he knows I had a miscarriage six years ago and never thought I could even have kids or get pregnant as a result so for him to even say that is heartless!!! Then on Thurs I was in agony so work sent me straight to my dr who sent me for an emergency scan fearing it was ectopic- I was quite literally in tears and not once did Luke even TRY to contact me despite still living under MY roof! Luckily, all is fine and I saw this tiny little bean with a heartbeat and my heart literally melted.
He tells me finding out about the pregnancy made him want to throw himself under a train, I mean come on, grow up! I got so excited at the scan knowing it was ok and for him to be so pathetic... I'm SO glad I didn't marry him. Sorry, rant over. But I guess the money for that ring is gonna come in handy...

What a little miracle, I hope you have a wonderful pregnancy and no more scares

By the sounds of it you're better off without him if that's the way he's going to behave! Big Congratulations on your little one though :-) x

congrats on ur news! All the best. x

:( That's a terrible thing to say.

ouch.....your way better off without him love! How old is he? 12. Lucky escape for you....good luck though xx

Ah I know she's coming from the best place possible but I do want her to shut up about it and just accept that I'm 24 and capable of making decisions, I have my own house, I have a good job, I'll have a hard road ahead and people will no doubt judge but I'm totally in love with this already! Morning sickness, boob pain, back ache, stomach cramps, stretching pains, headaches and migraines with no tablets, I'm on board with it all and embracing it lol getting all of the above already I'm happy with it too! x

Sorry to hear about your problems, but what a wonderful thing to come out of it all! Xx

Congratulations on the little miracle and like others have said sounds like u are best rid of that horrible selfish man!!

Like u say u can make ur own decisions and u have a home u can make ur own family in and that's that counts ur love and ur shelter!! Like said it won't be easy and u have a tough road ahead of u but have faith in itself and it will be fine x

Take care of urself rest when u can and hope pregnancy goes well x x

Sounds like you've got the best part of him growing inside of you. Congratulations on your great news you've lost a dead weight and you are going to be a mummy. I don't have kids and I have no idea how hard it is or what you will have to go through raising this baby but I have witnessed a similar situation in at least 3 of my friends. The most prominent to me being a friend who had been trying for a baby with her husband for years to no avail. They had decided to see a specialist with a view to fertility treatment, during a routine blood test they discovered she was pregnant. Before her first scan her husband told her he was leaving and had been having an affair for at least a year. Obviously she was gobsmacked as we all were. She didn't even consider terminating as like you she viewed the baby as a miracle. They sold their house, she moved up north, had her beautiful baby girl and now he phones her crying on a regular basis because he made a huge mistake. It turns out that the woman he was seeing only liked the excitement of affairs and dumped him when he left my friend. This woman has been named on a couple of divorce petitions. My friend is the happiest she's ever been, yes she has tough times but she told us that on the days when she hasn't got time to shower/brush her hair/apply make up/eat/drink etc because the baby is crying/playing up, she looks into her little eyes and thinks every second of it is worth it.

That'll be you soon.

Ladies, you're the best, perhaps some of you can field calls from my mum though?? Pleeeaase! I had to hang up the phone on her this morning, something I never do. She was supposed to come to London to see me today but a change of circumstances meant she didn't and boy am I glad now! She just went on and on about how I was making a bad decision and how now that I know I can get pregnant I should write off this mistake and have a family with someone who I am going to be with. About why wouldn't I even consider a termination, nothing good will come of this, my life will be ruined and I'll have no one but myself to blame. I wanted to swing for her, I'm telling you.

Tell me someone understands, please. I honest to god never believed after being attacked and made pregnant then being beaten into a miscarriage at 18 that I would ever fall pregnant. I genuinely thought it was impossible. This little bean (I love calling it that) growing inside me is a representation of hope, of a miracle, of everything I ever wanted but never believed possible. To end that would literally send me over the edge, I can promise now if I had to end this I wouldn't be alive this time next year. Seeing it's heartbeat made something in me come alive that I thought was long dead.

So why should I have to explain to anyone my reasons for NOT considering a termination?? Surely no one has the right to make me feel so awful for refusing to think about it?? I am an adult, I work with kids anyway and will be able to get a place for mine at my nursery, I am mature for my age and realise what will be given up in order to be able to have this child- and I'd do it a million times over.

Sorry, will go and calm down in a min lol xx

You don't have to explain yourself to anyone and your mum should know better if she knows the history. She should know how important this baby is to you, plenty of women are single mums and they make it work. Let the news sink in with your mum and I'm sure she will come around soon enough.

Congrats on both the pregnancy and getting rid of that childish man too! Xx

Wow I thought your ex was bad enough from all of your other posts Julie but this is just a new low! Never mind, you don't need him anyway! I am sure you will be a fantastic mummy to your little bean so congratulations!!
As for your mum, they always think that they know best and you should do what they say but at the end of the day it is your life, your decision, your body and your baby! I think that it is great that you are prepared to do this on your own and you aren't kidding yourself that it will be easy but you are ready to make it work. But try not to get too angry with your mum, she is just trying to protect you just like you are trying to protect your baby, she will come around to the idea but it might just take some time! Maybe ask her to come to your scan with you and she may fall in love when she hears the heartbeat just like you did. At the moment she is probably not seeing it as her future grandchild! Just be patient. And if you ever need to vent, you know where we all are!! xxxx

Don't be so silly, course you can come on here to chat still! We are all here for you :)
And counselling will probably do you the world of good! You are going through (and have been through) a hell of a lot and it will be good for you to let it all out to someone who is not going to judge you and will work with you to get through everything. And if I recall correctly, it was Luke who was still acting like a child and didn't know how to make you happy, not the other way around!
I hope you start feeling better soon hun, you have so much to look forward to and your new friend sounds like a diamond! I know it is easier said than done but you need to stay strong for you and your little bean! This will all be worth it in the end when everything works out and you are happy again :) sending lots of virtual hugs your way xxx

Thanks again, he left this morning and I went a bit mad before he did but the stupid b****ard still doesn't seem to understand that by having his baby is no way the easy option, I won't be able to get over him! I've got this little dinosaur (online pics make him look like one lol) growing in me that's gonna bloody wind up looking like him I just know it so I'm gonna have this perfect reminder everyday of this man who I still love :/

Incidently, he's now decided that he does want this baby and can't wait to be a dad. He's apologised for mentioning termination, it was the shock apparently. That's fine, I get that, but seriously, complete 180. And now I'm wondering if I can do this, I mean I'm gonna be tied to him for the rest of my bloody life and he's been so horrible and unfair, sorry is this five letter word he thinks will make the nastiest words become ok again and I'm just not of that line of thinking. My life is going to be so different and I'll have no option but do go along with that- what scares me is i suffer with really bad depression occasionally and this morning almost acted stupidly, how is that ok for a baby??? arghhhhhhhhhh my head is SUCH a mess sorry xx