Wedding Forum - Why won't they just leave me alone?...

bravo to your h2b, i would tell him about the text, you know from the texts how he feels (and that he is being consistant).

Your right, he must be. I think it's great that you 2 are on the same page with regards to everything though. And having a sneaky peak (I would've to :D) has proved that to you. I would mention the text from his mum today as he will be able to see that you've read it. You just need to decide whether you call him at work or leave it till he gets home. You know him best :D

They sound like a pain in the a***.

just tell him he got a text and you read it and thought he should know leave it at that then

i imagine from his previous responses he would say no i'm not coming round anyway to be honest hun

its good that you have a good relationship with your brother and you shouldn't let other people look down on that, don't let OH's mother ruin your day or planning just ignore her and rise above it you haven't got long to go now and frankly it has absolutely nothing to do with her anyway!

Well, his phone is here. I'm not going to ring his office to ask the receptionist if he can ask my oh to ring mummy. They'd be doing apron string signs at him forever lol. I'll just tell him it's there and let him decide. I cam trust him to fight my corner but I don't want her chipping away at him all the time with her comments like

" if only you were as much of a brother as you think tsuki's brother is"

I know for a fact if I showed my brother I had no intention of using his help to help myself and I just hoped to sit on handouts forever, he would not give me any help at all.


And Shirley exactly! Is she hoping to sit with it and twiddle it in her hands? :/

Take comfort in the fact that it is all down to jealously and selfishness. You know they won't get their own way, cause you both won't let them. You are a better person than them and you know you are. It's hard to not let it bug you, and I understand you being worried bout h2b with all this hassle. But try not to let them get to you. You know what life you and your brother have had and that he is where he is through hard work and you will be too :D

He is home, he has gone off to change his clothes and we are going round to find out what her problem is. I refuse to pander to sil just because she is a brat that constantly needs to be pacified. They have put neither penny nor help towards this wedding, I've done everything either myself or with help from my own. But inlaws still want to dictate

Be prepared for a looooooooooooong and ranty update later!

Good for you id defiantely be going around with my oh if this was me! i look forward to the rant update :)
stand ur ground hun x

Wow, I can't believe some people! It is her sons wedding, not her daughters so why does she feel that her daughter and her grandson should be in the spot light on the day? But good for your h2b for sticking up for what you both want! Hope you can put her in her place when you do round! Looking forward to the update! xxx

Soooo wanna hear what happened next! Sil2b sounds like an absolute ucking nightmare, she needs to take a long walk off a short pier.
I hate people who decieve people into having kids, people who scrounge. I know no one will take offence cause if you do then you see yourself in one of those categories lol

Ffs sil2b needs a reality check and her mum needs to stop treating her so precious and wonderful, she needs to get a blooming job, concentrate on her own life and being a good parent and stop scrounging off everyone around her. Try being a good person, then maybe people will want to take part and have you take part in their lives!

Grrrrr lol xx

This is rough as there was a lot to remember so it's gonna be long!
So we got there and h2b parked the car a bit away and called my mobile so I could hear her piffle to share with you ladies! If I went into the house she wouldn't be totally honest. My oh told her to stop with the front and get to the point. she said, putting on a false hurt voice " well, I'm just really disappointed that you're both treating Hannah like she's playing second fiddle to tsuki's family" h2b says he doesn't know what she's on about. Mil " well, she isn't bridesmaid, Alfie isn't pageboy, you haven't got either of them a thing to wear and Tsuki is trotting off on a hen party without her when it's just as much about hannah as it is about you!  H2b asks how she reached that conclusion when it is his and my wedding and not hannahs and mil responds "because she is a single mum with a young baby and never gets to enjoy things, she will never have a wedding because who wants a single mum and she will probably never have a job either because she can't cope" h2b bluntly states that although being a single mum doesn't mean she can't find someone, she is lazy and that the reason she is in that position in the first place is because she got pregnant with a man she barely knew to take the attention from me and ended up lumped with a baby and never had any ambition anyway.

She then moved on to say "can't you just put your foot down and have Hannah as bridesmaid and Alfie as pageboy? It's really not fair that they won't get noticed because everyone will be too busy buzzing around you two and her family" h2b tells her that in no uncertain terms he will not be forcing  me to do anything as the wedding has mostly been paid for by my family and she responds " it's not our fault we're poor!" bearing in mind pil are able bodied adults in their early 40's and manage to find money for 2 cars, sil driving lessons, ridiculous amounts of toys for sil son, 2 Rottweilers, a staff pup and 2 cats and have takeaways 4 or 5 times a week. MlL doesn't work because she is lazy and can't even be bothered to cook, same scenario with SIL. fil works part time and I guess they probably scrounge benefits by having the baby in the house. Knowing this is the case, h2b sighs and says hes heard enough and made his point,needs to get back to bath the baby while I sort dinner. MlL says " oh well you know I am so sad and Hannah will be so upset you will probably trigger her illness" funny I didn't know fecklessness was an illness. Mil says she will be in contact once she has 'broken the bad news'
Wtaf has just gone on here ladies??

Not only am I disgusted at her ignorance of implying that single mums are some sort of disease nobody wants, I am also blindsided at the fact that she genuinely thinks our wedding should be a platform for her daughter to get some airtime, and that we should suffer because they are jealous of our situation when I helped them when they were about to lose their home and that they are the reason my bro had to help me in the first place because I gave them my deposit savings! And yet they are still peeing money down the drain and not supporting themselves and resenting anyone who does.

Am I really being unreasonable in not including sil in my wedding, bearing in mind the awful things that she and mil said to me when her then boyfriend tried to rip my brother off because they wanted his cash?? I have absolutely no patience for her laziness and negative attitude towards education ect, I also do not care for her company and didn't invite her to my hen because my brothers gf and my sister and my BFF know what went on and would soon turn it into a hen pecking party lol

Sorry for the rant I'm determined that my family will show her how to behave when the day comes

OMG what a nightmare situation!!! U shouldn't have to go through that Tsukijin!! What Is the In laws problem??? Have u ever tried to sit down with the mil 1-1? Ask her straight out what the problem is?? I feel so bad for u having to go through all that-it's u and your h2b big day,no 1 else's!! U shouldnt feel bad in the slightest,youve done nothing but be nice and support them when they needed help! Mil needs to realise that by hating u or being nasty to u is not just pushing u away but also her own son!! Your h2b is an absolute rock n defending u so well and putting his foot down-u have a real diamond there!! Its crazy how the concept of £ and attention change people! Hope things get better now he has put her straight x

Bloody hell, you're lucky your man is on your side, there are plenty of blokes that roll over and do what mummy says. Stick to your guns! Sounds like they are all blaming society for their problems, when they ought to be looking closer to home. People that think the world owes them a favour do my head in

I think you should get her a bouquet though... just shove it up her arse!

LOL Velcro will you marry me

He was glad when I came along, his mum is one of those weird women that deliberately don't teach their kids anything so they will always be needed :/ she was nice as pie to get me to move in and thn I suddenly found myself shouldering the bills because she complained that they had increased significantly since I moved in, even though I bought my own shopping, and the first time she started complaining about my money was when I installed sky tv and broadband into our bedroom. She wanted it downstairs so she could watch it, and for me to put my pc that my dad bought me, into the living room so everyone could use it, but didn't want to contribute to the bills so I said no. she can't sleep unless it's totally silent and yet snores like a bull. She used to bang on the wall/floor when I was 17 because she slept in the afternoon from about 1pm till about 5pm even though shed got up at 11, ate, and slobbed in front of the tv and she complained she couldn't sleep as she could hear me turning book pages or typing :/

The stuff you have to put up with in mental, Tsukijin. All I can say is it's lucky you have the strength and guts to deal with it so well, because a more vulnerable person would be crushed by now :(

omg what a bizznatch!!!! idve walked right in there and bopped her on the nose!!!

Hahahaha! There she can be a trog instead

Wow I am absolutely speechless, what a bunch of total freaks