I (as I'm sure most of you are) am meeting with my MOH (sister) and BM (best friend) as a group very regularly for girly wedding type stuff and planning like dress shopping, seeing the venues etc. so we're all clear where we are with planning, what must be done and what everyone's duties are ...............well us girls anyway.
What I'm wondering is, is anyone calling periodic "meetings" with the whole bridal party to include their OH, bestman and ushers so that they too are on board and involved? Or are you just going to hand OH's entourage with a "to do" and "duties" list a couple of months before the big day?
I'm worried about the boys not being involved in any of the planning/organising or knowing what they need to be doing to help, as like the BM's, being in the bridal party means having responsibilities and not just to look good in a sharp suit/BM dress on the day.
I know all the boys are really interested in at the moment is the stag do, they're planning it already ............in fact the bestman started planning it in his head before H2B even proposed!
I also thought this may be a good way for my sister and best friend to become acquainted and used to the bestman and two ushers given they will have to work as a team on the day.
What's everyone else doing?
xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorKATG
I havent involved the best man. I wouldnt trust him to do much. Also i dont think hd really has to wk with tbe BMs, his sole purpose is to make sure h2b gets to the venue on time witb both rings. If he manages that i'll be happy x
Mrs Wilson2B
Need to loose 5 stones and 2lbs
3 Stones 2 lbs lost so far!!!
Getting Married 3rd August 2013
CommentAuthorMrs B
Out of interest, what sort of things have you involved your bm's in? X
CommentAuthorBlackCat13
Hehe good question. So far not having formal meetings no, however on certain things like colour scheme etc I have included h2b and anything h2b has trouble deciding he discusses with the best man so he's involved, and he knows me well enough that he can make suggestions if he wants. Ushers haven't even been chosen yet. My bridesmaids are split between London, Oxfordshire & Birmingham so getting together on a regular basis won't be easy, but we have a shopping trip / hen party discussion set for early June. Other than that I email them each at least twice a week - but that's not specifically because of the wedding, we did that before anyway x
CommentAuthorgeordienic
Hi ladies, we are taking £100 pound each out the wedding budget to have a meeting with the important people. the other half is having a planning meeting with the boys but he doesnt realise that i am going to give him a list of things the guys need to divide up and plan the stag do. I am going to the wedding venue with the girls and the two mothers for afternoon tea to gossip about the wedding and things to do.
They're coming to all my dress shopping trips and I'm using them almost like PA's as well as getting their opinions, they ask the right questions and note them down i.e. dress style, cost, additional costs (alterations), how much I like it etc.etc. They've been to the Church and reception venue and come up with deco ideas and I've asked them to look up romantic quotes, sayings, poems etc. for the display. My sister actually booked the makeup artist for me so all I needed to do was post her a cheque for the deposit. They are naturally doing the hen weekend. They will also make the favours nearer the time and will be main points of contact for our service providers nearer the time. There is and will be a fair amount more as time goes on.
I wondered whether anyone is getting the groomsmen involved this early on or just give them their "big day" duties nearer the time? They will be expected to help out on the day and "usher and greet guests", ensure people have transport from the Church to the reception etc. Most importantly the bestman will ensure H2B gets to the church on time, in one piece and has the rings.
xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Ooh, I forgot, my sister is practically keeping me in check too, making sure I do things when I need to i.e. giving notice, booking suppliers etc. as she got married last year so she's acting a bit like my planning co-ordinator lol
So is the general consensus basically to give the boys a list of things they are responsible for and get them to sort it between themselves?
They will need a run-through nearer the time which will have to be done at the rehersal at the Church xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorjoey86
Oh god, I feel incredibly un-organised now lol! My bm's don't even know each other at this point in time...!! But I'm attempting to arrange a meet up in the next few months so they can all get to know each other (they're all very lovely, so I doubt there will be any fallings out - and either way, they only need to get on for a year lol.) Individually, whenever we've met up, we've chatted about the wedding but they're not really involved with the planning so far. I mean, I ask for their opinion, but none of us really live close enough to constantly meet up so it's a bit of a logistical nightmare!
As far as the boys are concerned, well h2b is yet to actually sort out who his best man and ushers are, so a bit impossible to get anything sorted on that side! But I think it will be a case of handing over a list of duties a couple of weeks before. Although I am a bit of a control freak sometimes so I might just end up doing it myself!
To be honest, I haven't really felt at any point that I needed to delegate anything to anyone just yet - that might change in the future though - might be calling on the girls to come over for a couple of glasses of wine in order to get them to make the invites lol. I can already see the production line in my head haha.
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Don't worry hun, I'm sure you're not unorganised, I'm probably just being a control freak lol and I have a sister who is just the same so the two of us combined makes for very tight planning and organising lol.
I'm sure all your BM's will get on fabulously and you should hand over things you feel comfortable with, I realise that everyone is different and I only have two BM's one of whom is my sister, the other my best friend and they get on really well with eachother.
With the boys, again, don't worry, my H2B literally only asked his bestman and ushers to be his groomsmen two weeks ago - which is why I decided to start this thread as I was wondering what others were doing (if anything) in terms of planning get togethers.
xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorHelenW
I had the BM round a couple of weeks ago, as they all know each other except for H2B's little sis.. So had them all round for dinner n drinks and stuff!! was good fun :)
"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary
life, love gives us a fairy tale"
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Aww that's lovely hun, it's really nice to do things like that, even if you don't do wedding stuff it's nice to just be with the girls :)
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorRachelM100
well me and h2b are planning together everything we need to and he is tell the 2 best men and his father (works in dubai) whilst i tell the moh and one of the bridesmaids. moh is best friend so we constantly in touch about everything from wedding stuff to weather lol. one of the bridesmaids in sil2b and see her every 2 or three days anyway so just let her know of anything new. i am having moh 2 bridesmaids and 2 flowergirls. the flowergirls are our daughters and the other bridesmaid is other sil2b but she only 14 so basically only needs to know what others know. me and h2b have very close relationships with each others families so we have at times just all sat in the living room with a few drinks and discussed plans x
CommentAuthorclive
Liz has just got back from a weekend with her bridesmaids. They hadn't met each other until this weekend. they got on like a barn on fire thankfully. But then I knew they would anyway, as what's not to like?;-)
CommentAuthorBlackCat13
Awww, that's lovely :) Mine are meeting each other on the 26th at our engagement party, my moh knows both the other 2 but they haven't met each other yet. Looking forward to them getting to know each other as they're both incredibly special to me.
I'm having the same number as you RachelM100, MOH (my sister), 2 bridesmaids (friends) & 2 flower girls (h2b's half-sisters) x
CommentAuthormillz090
We have been together that long that everyone knows each other anyway from birthdays over the years.
In terms of Groomsmen they are sorting out the stag do but not alot else... Im not sure what they should be doing? We have 2 ushers, both our brothers and they will both be at our wedding rehearsals and given a itinery and list of what i need doing on the day and where everyone should be sitting at the church, etc. The best man will be ensuring the groom is sorted. I dont know what else groomsmen will be doing or expected to do in the lead up to the wedding?
Im not getting everyone involved in our plans, simply because we are happy to do everything with our parents and i want also of things to be a suprise too for the guests.
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Hmmmm, so maybe I should leave the groomsmen alone until shortly before the wedding then I'll just hand them "to do and duties" lists and leave H2B to sort out their suits with them. I also would like most of the wedding to be a surprise for everyone.
Hope your engagement party is a blast! I didn't have an engagement party. It'll be lovely for all your nearest and dearest to meet eachother xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorBlackCat13
Thanks hon, really looking forward to it. The parents have only met each other once before at h2b's 30th last year so will be good for them to see each other again. Also a damn good excuse for me to get a posh frock out hehe :-) xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Now I am jealous! I never get to dress up! :)
Lol - my H2B's dad has only met my parents once so far, that was at the wedding reception venue when we wanted the parents to view it before we put a deposit down. So I got my parents to meet us there and H2B's dad came along with his g/f.
xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorBlackCat13
Oh wow, well we each know each other's parents really well (in fact h2b keeps ringing up my dad and they happily make plans without either mum or I having any involvement lol) but I wish the parents knew each other better. My mum & dad are good friends with my sister's husband's parents, they see each other all the time and I kinda wish it was the same with my in-laws 2B. Ah well, can't have everything I guess. Xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Aww it's lovely when you get on with the future in laws and H2B gets on well with your family - I'm lucky to have that and really thankful for it. I'm sure in time your parents will get to know H2B's parents and they'll love eachother!
xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorBlackCat13
Lol I just re-read your post - before I totally mis-read it & thought it was your h2b who had only met your parents once! Cripes I'm losing the plot! Better get some sleep & stop crying over Lord of the Rings that might help haha! Night hon, chat tomorrow xx
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Lol, night hun xx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
Well h2b is having a best woman and we get on wonderful so she knows what's happening with the wedding and she knows her duties.
My bridesmaids are included in the plans, now I've got over the initial excitement planning. Am hoping to have meetings with them to organise stuff but tricky as none of us drive and baby sister lives half an hour drive away in the middle of nowhere.
CommentAuthorBlackCat13
A best woman? OMG how cool is that?! What an awesome idea :D x
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
i dont even know what duties they all have really lol im leaving ry in charge of getting the suits sorted out although i have told him the suit he is wearing and the colours etc lol (hmm maybe a tiny bit bridezilla haha) but no one has any particular duties really! i think the only duty anyone will have on the day is my mum helping me out of my dress on the night as im sure ry will be too drunk haha and it lace up lol x
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
i love you ry!!!
engaged midnight 2009
Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorInDreamland
Lol - I'm also going to leave suits to H2B to sort out for him, the bestman, two ushers and our dad's but I will be "advising" him of the colour scheme and what to wear lol ....not bridezilla at all hun, just ensuring it all matches nicely ;)
Best Woman is fab Katie. One of my friends husband had a best woman at their wedding and she did the best speech, it was hilarious! And she was 9 months pregnant so could have had the baby any time just before or on the wedding day, lucky she had the baby a couple of days later. Her hubby had to have a "backup" bestman lol.
xxx
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorloustew2012
jeez i cant get any of my lot together and its driving me insane. with 6 months to go oh is trying to get hold of the best man and the other usher as weve booked their rooms etc and his best man we need his address for the paperwork. think ill get mil to whip oh into shape for that. as for my bm i cant seem to get them to do anything so id rather do the full lot myself. saves any disappointment.
All the ways of my life id rather be with you.
Theres no way without you.
10.11.12
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
Yea I think It's cool. She's had a pretty turd of a time recently so keeps crying, like when he proposed and asked her to be best woman.
She thinks I'm wonderful both as a person and for him apparently she's never seen him so happy. She thought I might be jealous as she is a woman but tbh apart from the slight jealousy that he has such a good friend and I don't.
CommentAuthorHelenW
H2B hasn't even decided who all his fellas are gonna be. He's chosen his best man, and my lil lad will be our page boy, but as for ushers he hasnt even thought about it.. I thought I'd leave him to it for a while and then give him a nudge a few months down the line - got a long time yet so plenty of time!
"Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary
life, love gives us a fairy tale"
CommentAuthorJoanna
I think our best man's only duties are the stag do and making sure h2b gets to the church lol. Our ushers are my brother and his son. I think my brother's duties are to greet everyone and make sure everyone is in the church before i arrive. His son will be 18 months old, so his duties are to look cute lol :)
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
<3
CommentAuthorInDreamland
You have plenty of time hun, H2B only got his sorted a couple of weeks ago. Bestman been waiting to be asked since before H2B actually proposed lol. H2B had more friends wanting to actually be bestman and ushers than we had "vacancies" for lol and they were all hinting as soon as we announced our engagement so there are a few disappointed men out there. Think that's partly what took H2B longer to choose (although I think he'd kinda already made his mind up- it was just the pressure of letting some of the guys down).
Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
CommentAuthorBlackCat13
It's hard isn't it, my h2b told someone about 3 years back that they could be best man if & when we got married, but since then they've drifted apart and now hardly ever see or speak to each other any more. So h2b did the sensible thing and asked someone else, someone who's been a fantastic friend to us both and in my opinion is the perfect choice. But h2b is still a little worried about this other guy & what he'll think. I've told him he probably doesn't even remember being told he could be best man and even if he does I'm sure he'll understand. It is difficult though x
