i am looking for a little bit of advice. I am due to get married to my amazing fiance Alex in just under three months. My parents have split up and my mum remarried, whereas Alex's parents are still together. My dad has contributed towards the cost of the wedding, as have alex's parents. however, my mum hasnt got as far as offering to help us and in all honesty i dont think she will, mostly as my stepfather and i do not get along. When it comes to the wedding we will be giving gifts to my dad and alex's parents to say thank you, but what about my mum? i dont want to humiliate her infront of our family and friends but i also dont see why i should thank her if she hasnt even offered to help us with anything towards the wedding, let alone help pay for it. she doesnt seem too interested in the wedding, despite getting along well with my fiance, and i had to practically drag her to see "the dress", which i wouldve thought would be one a mother's proudest moments (my future mother in law asked to come with me on another occasion!) What do i do?? any thoughts/opinions would be gratefully received!!
Nicola
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
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I see your problem, I had the same thoughts but since my mum has offered to give me some money towards my dress I don't have to worry about it any more, lol.
I would say don't get her a thank you gift if you've no reason to thank her. I think it'll be more awkward to present her with a thank you gift and having to think up a reason for it. You could give her a gift with no mention of why she's being thanked but my problem with that would be that people might give credit to her that's not deserved.
It's up to you in the end and what you feel would be right!
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthorRaggedyAnne
you could just give your thanks to your dad and H2Bs parents, then when it comes to giving your mum hers just say..... 'and this is for you' , no thank you's.. I would feel the same, and wouldnt want to thank her and her getting credit for doing nothing, but you know you do have something to thank her for......she gave you life....
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthornic2150
You have a good point there raggedy Anne! I still don't know what to do for the best though! I think if she even just showed more of an interest in the wedding planning the decision would be a lot easier to make!
CommentAuthorocean
why dont you just give her a thank you card, for being your mum - pain in the neck or not she still brought you into the world and looked after you as a child x
CommentAuthornic2150
My H2B is thinking of just saying during the speeches "and thank you to nic's mum for letting me have her!" do you reckon that would be a good enough reason to thank her?
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Although I agreed with Raggedyannes post I personally wouldnt give her a thankyou gift of any sort, my dad hasnt helped in any way for our wedding so i wouldnt mention him what so ever, but my mum & in laws i would
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorbridalmiss
I think parents should be thanked for generally bringing you up and helping you be the person you are... :-)
CommentAuthorLegoWife
edited
But it's a wedding not a growing up ceremony?
I dunno, depends how traditional you want to be I suppose, if you see it as your family giving you to your H2b then it makes sense to thank the parents for looking after you till now.
Not for me though.
(Don't mean to sound like I don't appreciate my mum lol)
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthornic2150
its definitely not the easiest of situations to be in. the day is about my H2B and i, not everyone else, but we also dont want to look back on the day remembering any uneasiness or arguments that were caused which couldve been easily avoided! Legobride you do have a good point there that its a wedding and not a growing up ceremony. i guess mothers day and fathers day are for thanking your parents for having you! and technically it should be my dad we thank for letting alex have me as he will be the one giving me away. we aren't being traditional, as we are hosting the wedding ourselves, its in a hotel, and we're trying to make it as informal as possible as thats the type of people we are, but we want the day to be easygoing and enjoyable for everyone, not just ourselves.
CommentAuthorclbronze
I think RaggedyAnne's idea is a good one. Think you should get her a little something, even if is a smaller gift than you get the others. Think you'll just feel awkward and uncomfortable when it comes to giving out gifts etc if you don't. x
Met Paul on 01.06.08
Marrying him on 01.06.12
CommentAuthornic2150
thats a good point. any suggestions what we thank her for when we give it out?!
CommentAuthorkrissy905
nobody as helped us out with the wedding we are paying for it out of savings and i have done all the planning but i still plan to give me sister and brother in law a thank you gift as they have been my main surpport for me since my mum died when i was 11 plus thye are having my girls for a week while we have a honeymoon im thinking of a weekendend away some where for them both will get h2bs mum flowers just to keep the peace.
CommentAuthorclbronze
Do you need to thank her for something in particular? Can't you just say thanks in a roundabout way without naming something specific? x
Met Paul on 01.06.08
Marrying him on 01.06.12
CommentAuthorMrscarter2b
How about a nice bunch of flowers. I know it's very common but at least she won't feel left out and no one will feel awkward x
