Hiya i am in abit of a panic, me and mil have fallen out big time due to her calling me a control freak. We havent spoken since xmas and dont think we will, I was sat arranging where everyone will be sitting and me and oh have decided that due to her comments she isnt sitting on the top table she is sat with oh stepdad, i am now worried she will drink alot and start making comments (Does this when had a drink) and ruin our day, i know i have a while yet till the wedding but i am really worried she may kick off, should i have her on the top table or not??
Cannot Wait till becoming Mrs Harding!!
CommentAuthorUnknown
If i am honest, i cant believe you are even thinking about the table plan with so far to go until your wedding!
things may become better during this time and you may change your mind. if i were you, i would see what happens and then discuss it closer to the time when you have all your rsvp's.
if you decide to not have her on the top table and she does start to make comments when she has had a drink, you will be on a whole different table so wont know about it as you wil be too busy.
At my wedding, 2 friends actaully split up and i didnt even know that she was crying and upset as i was kept out her way by friends to avoid ruining my big day xx
CommentAuthorMrsHarding2be
It was because the wedding was supposed to be this year but had to rearrange the date for next year, we have had all the rsvps back so thats why i am doing it now, we both want our day to run smoothly and i know she will make comments
Cannot Wait till becoming Mrs Harding!!
CommentAuthorvicandsimon
I had a similar problem a few months ago with simons mum but it always sorts its self out. Im sureshe wouldnt want to spoil her sons special dayx
CommentAuthorMrsHarding2be
Well i hope not either but i am not so sure, she can be evil when she wants to be
Oh i see, are you sure that everyone will still be able to attend the new date then?
I cant see why she would ruin her sons wedding, so she may be on extra good behaviour on the day x
CommentAuthorMrsHarding2be
Yeah its mainly family who are coming with a few selected friends, She ruins alot of things then deniies doing it
Cannot Wait till becoming Mrs Harding!!
CommentAuthormillz090
I wouldnt worry too much yet this early on... we had a big falling out with my OH brother and his wife and i vowed i would never talk to them again, 6 months later we are kind of taking, piolite chit chat but time is a good healer and people learn to forget and forgive. I wouldnt worry this early. Also i would hope she would be kept away from you on the day so if she is being a pain you wont know about it but fingers crossed she will behave for her sons wedding xxx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorMrsHarding2be
I Hope so too but i am not sure, this arguement was coming for a while and i was major, she dont do forgive and forget
Cannot Wait till becoming Mrs Harding!!
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
I so understand what you mean mrs Harding2be I have the same problem, I so don't want her at our top table, but can't do that to OH, as he loves her to bits, even if he knows she hates me, at least I am hiding from him that I hate her back. If you have decided not to put her at your table fair enough but the hard bit no matter where she sits is that there is nothing you can do to prevent her from drinking, maybe see if your H2B could have a chat with her in the line that if she starts upsetting you she will have the leave, it can sound harsh but that's what I am gonna do, anyone who's out of line will be made to leave our reception
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorMrsHarding2be
Thats a good idea i think i will talk to him about that, i cannot stand her much but tolerate her for his sake, she thinks she cn say stuff to chris and it wont get back to me,
Cannot Wait till becoming Mrs Harding!!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
hunni you cant stop her drinking or saying stuff so put her where you feel happiest ..... but ...... i wouldnt be trying to do a seating plan just yet, i know you have said that you have had replys ( did you change the date after the invites went out ) but there is alot of time for people to pull out for what ever reason and then you will be back to square 1 ......
No changed the date before the invites went out, Thats a good idea guess i will stop trying to do everything now and pace myself
Cannot Wait till becoming Mrs Harding!!
CommentAuthorClareS
I'd try and forget all about it until nearer the time. A lot can happen between now and then. If things haven't improved you could always just have you two and bm's/best man on top table with parents hosting their own tables. Will make them feel important but also keep them out of your way. Just have someone on their table who will deal with her swiftly and get her out of the way if she starts doing anything untoward. I know you must be stressing but try not to think about it, h2b will feel like he's between a rock and a hard place as he'll be trying to please both of you without hurting either. She's got time to try and improve, or show her true colours. At least waiting all that time you can say you've given her the benefit of the doubt and if you do have to stick her out of the way you can base it on her proven track record x
CommentAuthorKatya
i dont want to have a top table for us.... i have not got the most normal of family set ups..... no dad, i dont want and wont allow my step dad, my mum can not be called my mum anymore so for the top table on my side it would just be me and my moh so im not gunna have one. you can request that if your venue notice something is not right ie mil chatting s**t then you can ask that they give her a time out.... telling her or anyone that if they continue to upset the day then they will be asked to leave and if they refuse to do so they will be made to leave. so the venue basically give the person a time out with a glass of water to help sober them up and calm down they state that they need to calm down they be given a few minutes to calm down and then are let back into the room to continue the celebrations nicely
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorAntonia9
mrsharding2be, if you wanna draft out your table plan then do it! its your day, so what if its a bit away, at least you'll have a fairly clear idea in your mind of where you want people etc.... what ever keeps spirits up about your forthcoming wedding - do it! As for your MIL dont worry about her, she should see sense in the next 19months if not then pay her no attention and get on with your day, im sure your family wont let this woman ruin your day if she wants to be childish!
My mum and dad wont have seen each other for almost 28yrs when they meet at my wedding and my H2B's family is also split, but ive said straight away if anyone acts up or kicks off they will get kicked out of my wedding, dont care who they are - no one will ruin my wedding. Take the same carefree mindset hun, its an insignificant detail and her loss if she wants to strop all through your wedding ;0) x
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorKatya
if you are going to draft your table plan i suggest drafting two!
one with her at the top table incase things get better in the lead up.
and one with her sitting elsewhere incase they dont get better.
This way you wont have so much to do closer to the time and your thinking.... "AHHHH havent got time for all this"
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorKaz
edited
If it's mainly family, don't most of them know she says mean things when she's been drinking? I'm with Antonia9 "if anyone acts up or kicks off they will get kicked out of my wedding, dont care who they are - no one will ruin my wedding."
WARNING:
I say the first thing I think of!
CommentAuthorsussie
My friend had the same problem at her wedding, what she did was sit her MIL at the furthest end of the table, so she had a buffer, then afterwards kept as far away from her as possible. We had also put in place that if she did start anything that me, my fiancee and another friend would escort her home......no fuss no nothing. we had also cleared it with her H2B.
Upshot was MIL was on her best behaviour, in fact the only person who made a scene was our mate. luckily it was the end of the night.
CommentAuthorCupCake
Hubby and I sat on our own sweetheart table so we could be on our own .... it made life so much easier lol I did my table plan 2 weeks before the wedding! You'll end up changing it so many times other wise it will drive you bonkers! I think you have time to make up with MIL, I doubt she will want to miss her sons wedding day even if she has to back down, I think she will. I think you need to make the effort for you OH, think how you would feel if the boot were on the other foot hun, it's his day too, and even if she is an old moo, she's his mother at the end of the day.
