Wedding Forum - I hate my Sister In Law 2 be...

just need a little rant sorry ladies but im fuming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me and my sil 2b have never hit it off she a spoilt brat and a vicious, vindictive one at it! the sun shines out of her back side according to FIL2b but me and my h2b know different and her mum and rest of family!!

Anyway's last week she goes and gets engaged.... ok fair play... not an issue!!!!

The next day however she announces she getting married this April!!! bit p'd off to be frank but no where near out date so a little sigh of relieve, however its a month before her mothers, now her mum been planning her wedding for a year and half and its local for the ceremony but involves travelling and staying at hotel for reception. i thought this was a bit bang out to kinda stel her mums thunder!

anyways BIGGER ISSUE is she now decided to use my colour scheme and flowers and getting her grandma, who is doing both mine and her mum to do hers when she already busy doing my sil's mum's! so big big p'd off there!

now she being secretive about her dress and im so scared she going to get the dress i got (she seen the pic i was showing her step mum) or one really simuliar just outta spite! which is very much her nature! ive already paid mine in full and tried it on and in love with it!

NOW the bit that really gets me is she expecting her dad to pay for her dress and stomping her feet being a brat and he said yes!! now im not jealous of that but am p'd off that her dad off sick and aint getting paid as self employed and me and h2b are supporting him, and our selfs and paying off our wedding and she knows this!!!!!!! so really its us paying for her dress.

i know that our wedding is next year so everyone would of forgotton the colour scheme so aint a big deal as they only have few people going (not holding my breath for an invite) but seriously how can she get away with this behaviour all the time! she just doing it because were all getting married and she feels left out has to be center of attention and get 1 up on everyone!

but if she steals my dress i will hit the flipping roof!

am i being wrong by beeing p'd off by all this or am i intiteled to be a little p'd off!? x

i`d be making a big thing of how you have changed all you colours etc .... asking her opinion on EVERYTHING and let her steal all of them !!!!!!!!

Ok, Not being funny but I can't quite see what she's done wrong.... Maybe they've gone for April cos that's when they wanted to get married? and maybe she just likes the same colours as you? I wouldn't be at all upset over someone having same colours as me.
Also, maybe she's being secretive about her dress as she wants it to be a big surprise for everyone on the day.... lots of brides only have one or two people know what there dress will be like! I think it's awful she had a paddy over her Dad paying for her dress though!!
Are you sure you're not reading too much into things as you're upset she's getting married before you?!

Try not to stress anyways hun, your day will be perfect no matter how similar/dis-similar it is to SIL2B's. xxx

i like lala's idea. change everything and show her it all and let her go for that lot. can't just say back the hell away from my colours and theme and get your ideas! or offer to take her to wedding fair she might get better ideas then.

why is she getting married in such a rush?

Good shout Becky lol x

I agree with becky, if you and ur h2b is supporting him how is he being able to afford the dress for her at the end of the day u need to put ur foot down ur not supporting him to let him go out there and buy a dress for her, if he can afford that then he can afford to look after himself...
I would tell her straight that u, will not put up with the trantrums and that ur not her mother/father so if she wants a wedding dress she will have to fund it her self that way i bet she wont be able to afford the same dress as u,
I don't blame u for being p'ed off i would be 2...
My sisters the same she would do exactly the same if the OH would allow it, after i got engaged in November been with my OH nearly 7yrs, she was like oooh i think my OH is going to purpose at xmas btw they've been togeather 10mths, thankfully he didn't and won't as they have been together 5mins, but she's wanted to do this so she would get one up on me...
It annoys me to hell so know exactly how u feel....
Good Luck Hun xx

She's a braver woman than me, I would never be able to organise my wedding in 4 months. All the best venues would be gone, DJ's, make up artists, photographers etc... Good luck to her I say. At least you've had the time to mull over your decisions and use your own initiative and trial and error. The most important thing about your wedding day is that it is an opportunity for you and h2b to stand up in front of the people you care about and declare that you will love each other for the rest of your lives anything else going on is just rhubarb and fades into insignificance.

The biggest thing to me seems to be paying for the dress - that's outrageous that you're basically footing the bill for it when you're trying to save for your own! Not on :(
If she's trying to wind you up about colours or whatever, I'd just act like you haven't even noticed - if she's not purposely doing it to annoy you and just doesn't realise, no harm done; if she is being a loony and copying everything you're doing then it'll drive her bonkers if she doesn't get a reaction.
I do feel sorry for you because it's all a bit much. Fair enough more than one person can like the same colours, of course they can, but I take your point about her trying to get in ahead of everyone - it does have a bit of that feeling about it all...
Anyway, it's probably helped to rant about it here and let off a bit of steam, we hope! Don't let it spoil your day for you and h2b - by that time her wedding will be over and done with and forgotten about, and at least if you find your tastes change in the meantime you've plenty of time to rearrange things :) :) x

P.S. Similar situation happened between one of h2b's brothers and one of his sisters. Brother got married last June, sister getting married this June. After sister got engaged she started planning straight away. Tight for money so some aunts offered to help with invitations, cake etc, as a wedding present to her. Next thing we hear is brother is getting same aunties to do same thing for him, a year earlier. I don't know what happened - chances are they probably offered as they had done for sister. But sister very upset by it and says brother only came up with this plan after she had been telling him they were doing it as a favour to her. She wanted to have homemade invitations and cake etc as her special thing, plus really needed to save money whereas brother and his wife are well-off. So she ended up changing a lot of her plans as a result and they still aren't really speaking properly, really sad. Don't let it get to you that much anyway! :( :( :(

Good luck - it's hard on you because it puts in between family members and that is always awkward. Really hope you and hubby can stand your ground and sort it all out! x

Hope you and h2b managed to talk things through and agreed to stop paying your dad x

just read this to my h2b and he says.....

to stop fil2b from cutting down on his food bills etc whilst you are supporting him, take him food shopping instead so you know your money is going to feed him not pay for her dress and also request to see the bills hes paying off that way you can give him the exact amount needed to support him and that way he cant save for her dress so you wont be paying for it.

ie water bill £32 + food £50.18 = you give him £32 and pay for his food in the store leaving him with no spare cash to save for her dress.

she will have to learn that this sort of behaviour is unacceptable in 4yr olds let alone a fully grown woman!

My 2yr old has one hell of a temper on him but he gets shot down before he even finishes stamping his feet or his first scream!

sounds very much like my h2bs family... they bend over backwards whilst juggling and eating fire for his brother and yeh h2b gets nothing. its even got to the point where my h2b has been made redundant a few times in the last year and has spent at least 6months on job seekers but his dad is a self employed builder has so much work in mk that hes turning some of it down... when h2b asked him if he wanted to expand up to cambridge with fil2b doing mk & half of bedford and h2b doing the other half of bedford and cambridge he said no and point blank refused. baring in mind his company is basically his name and h2b has his dads name he doesnt wanna know but then 2 weeks later we spoke to bil2b who said that hes now working with fil2b covering bedford and has been for a week! bil2b lives with his parents has no children to feed and spanks all his money on shizzle. where as we have a house to run and 2 kids to feed, im disabled and due to my condition know one can justify hiring me to then hire someone just to keep an eye on me (and i dont blame them) so im self employed but it doesnt bring in any money atm and jsa said it dont matter what i get in even if i did get paid cos its not regular income. (they have all my company details incase they change their mind)

If your father in law to be is paying for her dress then you & your partner need to have a word with him & ask why your supporting him if he can afford to pay for her dress. If you did want to carry on support him then do things like buy him a bit of food & not give him money. Cant believe he even said yes, knowing that you have been helping him. I'd be furious!

id b bloody fuming if anyone stole my colour scheme esp if her nose turned up on it.... with my family we have all had different colours as its nice to look back at photos n every wedding is different n unique, n if someone steals ur colour scheme the are taking ur unique day.... b the better one n change ur colours n i bet ur come up with something even more stunning n she can have sloppy seconds xxxx

to be honest Millz - getting engaged wasnt the issue at all i didn't mind!

however i think weddings are very unique to every couple i know my colour scheme ment alot its what me and my grandad that has now passed away planned when i was younger. i think the point is she knew this is what i was having she shouldnt of gone there after all she should come up with what suits her rather than what other people were having. specially as she turned her nose up at my colours to start with. plus my flowers are my theme for the wedding so im specially protective over them as she said she hated them when she fist asked what they was b4 she was getting married.

its not to bad if a stranger copies or borrows idea's but a family member thats having the same people is a bit wrong. if someone copied all ur wedding idea's thats was family u would be a bit p'd.

update to earlier posts while im here, i done what lala said and have now told her its blue and cream and she has now changed it to that and having roses as i said that was what i was changing to. i found this out from her grandma so it worked.

just goes to show how spiteful she really is and how uncreative she is. good luck to her.

x

send her a pic of really mingin dress!

aww bless you mate. x

haha im glad im not alone. and 8 years wow u get less for mur der these days lmao! grrr there going to be big falling out along the way lucky enough i love my h2b more than anything because if i didn't i wouldn't be sticking around to put up with the BS his sister throws at me x

haha i know well i cant wait to see her face at my wedding lmao! ill try and get the photographer to capture the moment! sick of her crap haha x

well i do esp if its.family i wudnt care if neone here does but im different to u so is my opinion no need to put me dwn.... i get a bit annoyed y ppl have to do that im only saying my opinion i never put ppl down!!!

im glad she changed.the.colours in a second i wud do a mood board of.all the bm dresses n flowers for that new.colour n say this is what we r having cos.at least that way she can nick.it all but dnt make it look great do boring centerpieces n do opposite of dresses ur having so if ur going long put hers down short or other way round... i dnt know.y famioy just cant b happy for each other then finding ways of making ppl upset :( just no point. but im a great believe in karma xxx