My h2b has been married before didnt last 18 months even and he he says he knew things werent right before he got married but just got swept along with it His mum paid for nearly everything last time so this time he wants to do everything himself which is fair enough we dont earn a lot and have no money left over after bills, food shopping, and wedding savings I am getting excatly whatt i want on a budget but h2b to is stressing big time keeps saying he wishes he could do more for me he hates his job to a point hes very down at the min but we can not afford for him to quit and I only work part time and no other jobs out there at min I am worried he has taken on too much in the last 2 days he has totally withdrawn from me hardly talks when he does its snapping at me which I can handle cos I know its cos hes so stressed but am so worried he is going to make himself ill! even caught him crying a few times I have tried talking to him and asking him to share things but he won't!!!.... just says hes stressed about everything nothing I can do I think he isn't letting me in cos he doesnt want to put his stresses on me but really its causing me more I keep thinking it may be more than what I know... mayb hes having second thoughts...hav I asked for too much?... I cant stand seeing him like this its breaking my heard but just feel helpless I have asked his brother to have a word see if he opens up to him
I really don't knwo what to do
CommentAuthorFaeth
I think asking his brother to have a word, if he won't open up to you, is a good idea. Depending on the type of guy he is, pushing things may not work, so you may just need to be patient and let him come around to telling you what's up when he's ready.
Maybe take a break from talking and thinking about the wedding with him, and if finances allow, do something totally not wedding focussed together. Doesn't have to be huge and expensive, maybe just go for a cheap meal, or the cinema. Take some time out to de-stress. Weddings have a habit of sucking you in and occupying your brain 24/7, and even if you don't have to worry about the money side, they can still cause no end of stress - LOL
I had a gap of about 2-3 months where I lost my job, and all thoughts of the wedding went completely (other than the occasional "oh god, it's not gonna happen if I don't get a job"), and I did nothing in terms of organising, because I thought I couldn't. But my plans didn't suffer because of it, and I'm not hugely behind with stuff.
"Of course I'm not wedding obsessed!!"
CommentAuthormaryannt
to be honest we dont really talk about wedding a great deal at min think its more work stress as he hates it and cos of the shifts he does he doesnt get to spend much time with our baby son or myself he can not change his shifts cos we have worked it between us so we do not have to pay out for childcare his work do take the mick out of him and he does a lot more than he gets paid for but now its got to the point where we had a day off together for a family day and cos hes so stressed was in a foul mood in the evening so wasnt the best day :-( i cant stop crying I suggested cancelling the wedding to try and ease the stress for him but he went mad at that idea
CommentAuthorMrsCaitiClarke
If he didn't want to cancel the wedding then at least it's not that that's stressing him out hon. Just give him some time and he'll get his head round, and make sure he knows you're there for him when he needs to talk. My h2b is like that when he's stressed. He completely shuts down into himself and I just have to give him a bit of space and then he'll come and want to talk about it! xx
I can't wait to marry the love of my life - 28/04/2012
OCD Bride - it's all in the details!
CommentAuthormaryannt
yea I know thanks hun its just when its the other way round and its me thats down he goes mad if I don't let him in.... so frustrating that he doesn't practice what he preaches haha and in 4 years never seen him this bad just worried bout him making himself ill more than anything thanks for the advise and listening mrsclarke2be xxx
He obviously doesnt want to cancel the wedding hun, else he would of agreed the moment you said that. He obviously loves you. I agreed with Mrsclarke.....give him time, let him know your there for him. x
Years from now, I'll want you years from now, and I'll hold
you years from now as I love you tonight! xx
